diwana:
yes arabs call others bhai or behan too. It is so tacky.
I do not think religion asks us to call each othe brother or sister when communicating. Culturally it might have been.
I never said that religion “ASKS us to call” each other brother and sister. I said that it refers to us as brother and sister. This can be seen in various ahadith. Does not mean that one is obligated to refer to another as their brother or sister. The hadiths might use such titles to foster brotherhood or unity. …**or perhaps is based upon the belief that all we’ve all descended from Adam and Eve and are referred to as children of Adam.
Value according to whom or what? Saying that one is LIKE your brother or sister can be done for a variety of reasons (to give an analogy for how close the relationship is, etc). “Munh bola” bhai/behan may not have any legal value. Subjectively…the extent of the value will vary from person to person. Sometimes people don’t value their “saghay” relationships. I’m not supporting or favoring the idea of “munh” bola anything…just looking at the issue from various perspectives.
It appears more of a cultural thing.
**Could be cultural. If one looks at ahadith…religious value may also be given to it. Many things…various tradtions are…“cultural.” One may follow one an not the other.
**I’ve even heard goray laug tell their friends that “Gee, I only see you as a brother or a sister.” So, once again, such clarification is not only confined to desi culture. It’s like how one might say, “I only see you as a friend.” Or a person might say that “You’re like my brother/sister”…to show that they have deep regard and affection (almost equivalent to that of a sibling)…even though the romantic interest is not there.
Sure, it may hurt the one on the receiving end. But perhaps such words are used to mitigate the pain/rejection by showing that while you’re not not interested in one type of relationship (romantic)…you’re interested in maintaining another relationship (friendship.)
Clarification (whether you call a person as “just a friend” or however you do it) can be necessary to prevent the other person from entertaining any false assumptions.
Well, obviously…“if the potential” is there…you would never refer to the other person as “brother or sister”
** What I am referring is to unnecessary political correctness.
**
Re: Calling someone ‘bhai’, ‘baji’ etc.
If the person isn’t related to me, I MIGHT call them baji or bhai if they’re like at least 10-15 years older than me… and that too depending on if other people my age call them baji/bhai too.
It varies from person to person. Some people I call baji/bhai…and others I don’t. To each his own. There could be WORSE titles out there than bhai/baji. Do what feels comfortable as long as you’re being respectful.
Reha
April 29, 2010, 2:57am
24
Ummmmmmmmm…apko kisi pyari si larki ne bhai kaha hai kya?
Yaar, it could be worse. What if the pyari si larki called him “baji”???
diwana
April 29, 2010, 2:59am
26
What if they are not 10-15 years older?
And why should it depend on what other people call them?
Reha
April 29, 2010, 3:00am
27
Re: Calling someone ‘bhai’, ‘baji’ etc.
I dont call anyone baji…girls are catty about their ages.
Bhai…I use it sparingly…I bestow that honor on select individuals.
Shak
April 29, 2010, 3:00am
28
Re: Calling someone ‘bhai’, ‘baji’ etc.
Thanks for telling us all that
Now we know we aren’t good enough for the said honour
^Some aunti’s may prefer to be called “Baji” if it makes them feel younger.
Oh come on now. Surely she didn’t HAVE to tell you something that you must have already known.
diwana
April 29, 2010, 3:04am
31
Ji…and it hurts deep…when it happens.
I mean what did I do? I am minding my own business and this sweet voice comes:
Bhai Sahab!
I am sure if I call her baji or Apaa she may not like it! but I don’t..
Winking at her is not called minding your own business, Diwana. You deserved the “bhai sahab” comment.
Reha
April 29, 2010, 3:05am
33
Shakky…I now pronounce you BHAI of Reha.
Now your job is to make sure I never have to fill gas in my car ever again…I hate doing that.
Shak
April 29, 2010, 3:05am
34
I thought I was special to everyone
I was wrong then RV?
Ok Reha pass me the £££££££££££$$$$ I’ll fill your petrol
Your car has gas?
eeewww
Reha:
Shakky…I now pronounce you BHAI of Reha.
Now your job is to make sure I never have to fill gas in my car ever again…I hate doing that.
You trust him with that? I picture him driving off with your car.
Of course “bhais” are special, Shak.
Shak
April 29, 2010, 3:08am
37
Re: Calling someone ‘bhai’, ‘baji’ etc.
No no** I** won’t drive off her car
It’ll be a custmoer who I sell it to
diwana
April 29, 2010, 3:08am
38
If this happens,
I might then call her Bhai jaan or talk with her in girly way!
Reha
April 29, 2010, 3:10am
39
diwana:
Ji…and it hurts deep…when it happens.
I mean what did I do? I am minding my own business and this sweet voice comes:
Bhai Sahab!
I am sure if I call her baji or Apaa she may not like it! but I don’t..
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww…that must have hurt…koi baat nahin. Its okay.
Agli dafa, you call her baji too.
Since I gave you the idea, split the profit with me.
If I had a brother, it would be his job to do that. 
