relationship is at the mercy of induced doubt
the guy makes all out effort to take leave, politely, trying
how to call off a wedding?
Re: calling off
thats I think a very hard hard question and hard hard hard thing to do. :(
i wont be able to give an tips or advice. sorry and goodluck to both parties
Re: calling off
thanks,
Re: calling off
it is a difficult situation i agree, but if either guy or girl has doubt they should take action fast - as it will be even worse in long term if it came to a divorce, dont let things get that far - sort it out amicably by talking to elders, if not parents, maybe chat to an aunt/uncle or close friend who can get the message across.
Otherwise this person will regret they didnt speak up when they had d chance...theres many ppl who are suffering in silence...
Re: calling off
you could sit down with your parents and explain why you want to call it off
it will be hard, cause parents take time to understand... but if u explain out your reason properly and how in the long run itll affect you they will be more receptive
hope everything works out well for you
Re: calling off
You know you really really need to do this ASAP, the more time you waster, the harder it gets....
its better to do it now then to regret it in future
Re: calling off
yeah she is right. its better to do it as soon as possible. i suggest go for istakhara....
Re: calling off
that is so true.
i dont want to talk about this, lest i begin to think that HE IS AND WAS A FLIRT. my prayer is that he was and is not.
his silence is meaningless to me, after all he confided in me.
i wish, in Quran, it was admonished to have an arbiter ( an impartial and just one) between unmarried people, as well, who once knew each other, but then some ill fortune befell their relationship.
if there was a consultation, arranged - what would not have been clarified and resolved.
but.
it is a difficult situation i agree, but if either guy or girl has doubt they should take action fast - as it will be even worse in long term if it came to a divorce, dont let things get that far - sort it out amicably by talking to elders, if not parents, maybe chat to an aunt/uncle or close friend who can get the message across.
Otherwise this person will regret they didnt speak up when they had d chance...theres many ppl who are suffering in silence...
Re: calling off
i did do istikhara.
nothing negative appeared to me
, except my car was towed, i paid the fine, i will fight the ticket - the hassle nd all, and my lens dropped in the sink while i was getting ready to go to work.
these losses can't be indication of a bad sign regarding the individual in question.
what i do know is that i must give sadka.
yeah she is right. its better to do it as soon as possible. i suggest go for istakhara....
Re: calling off
i dont like dragging things, thats the way i just happen to be .. i will simply ripoff a band-aid... quick, easy, sure painful, but kambakhat pressure of NOT doing it atleast goes away..
i will say the same.. just do it .. for the sake of getting over it..
Re: calling off
I think its better to get out of something if it isnt right rather than go ahead with it and then up being divorced.
Re: calling off
i did do istikhara.
nothing negative appeared to me
, except my car was towed, i paid the fine, i will fight the ticket - the hassle nd all, and my lens dropped in the sink while i was getting ready to go to work. these losses can't be indication of a bad sign regarding the individual in question.
what i do know is that i must give sadka.
Ok look, I am speaking from a LOT of experience - if you believe something is giong on or that the person is a certain way, then you're right. Just trust yourself and call it off. You will be unhappy with him, I can guarantee you that much. There are plenty other guys out there who will be worthy of you. Your parents will understand because they want what's best for you. Just trust yourself and don't settle for second best. And after all, the purpose of istikhara anyway is to get to the depths of what YOU really knew all along.
Re: calling off
thanks, trillian.
that is the sad part - for me, he was never the second best.
it could be that he was keeping my trust as a probable prey.
each to her and his own, right?
what i cannot, at least his and my Maker, Allah, is seeing everything.
Re: calling off
Confused, **
**you are something! :>
**how **can a young woman marry without the chosen husband standing infront of her?
he is under pressure. i am not, horse uncle.
i dont like dragging things, thats the way i just happen to be .. i will simply ripoff a band-aid... quick, easy, sure painful, but kambakhat pressure of NOT doing it atleast goes away..
i will say the same.. just do it .. for the sake of getting over it..
Re: calling off
thanks, trillian.
that is the sad part - for me, he was never the second best. it could be that he was keeping my trust as a probable prey.
each to her and his own, right? what i cannot, at least his and my Maker, Allah, is seeing everything.
Obviously he was not second best for you because (i'm assuming) you're in love with him. However, his actions and all the complications that have arisen have downgraded him to second best.
And yes, clearly Allah sees all - however, you must also be seeing SOMETHING to have these doubts. Don't leave it in the hands of parents, arbitraters and Allah. I'm sure even he would want you to be proactive in such a big decision in your life. It's never too late to take steps to ensure your happiness.
Re: calling off
trillian,
too much is at stake. it is trust which he broke.
i know people say it will become a bad reference for me, or that i must move on, punish him, or that i am feeding his ego, or that he was a cheap.
i hope it is none of this.
may this be the case. may he realize what he did and why and then be able to explain to me as well.
amen.
thanks,
dushwari
Re: calling off
he is under pressure.
then ask HIM to get it over with .. what seems to be the problem? reply applied to whoever is in stress.. get it over with ..
if u guys can go ahead, fine and dandy, and if one cant, well blehhhh .. talk and call it off..
its like pulling a really really sticky band-aid.. u KNOW u gotta rip it off.. just go thru it ..
Re: calling off
he is mute. after taking back proposal, he still wanted to stay as friends.
how can i do this?
and i am not going to chase him. i did all i could - by trying to speak to him, by clearly giving him an invitation to come and meet me and say what is on his mind, but he is stuck somewhere deep.
u know what Confused,
he is really confused.
and i am trying to help him, get over his confusion,
for once, in his life he must learn to take his decision himself and not give me the heat that he has already given enough of.
if he has to come back, he will do it on his own and FAST.
other wise, he is at a loss.
and i am at the BRINK of losing my trust in him, altogether.
Re: calling off
:-)
parties cant remain friends after taking back the proposal .. i've seen two friends losing their friendships over this.. its just not possible.. u did what u did, now its time to step back and .. let the world unfold itself..
dont try to be help him, getting over his confusion.. there are things that a man should learn with time, and maturity and experience.. i'm a believer that THIS should happen even if it becomes life threatening..
[quote]
i am at the BRINK of losing my trust in him, altogether
[/quote]
my advice to u would be, wait till april 15, then do what u gotta do .. lose trust, not see him, talk whatever works for u ..
mind u, time is asked for the transition, not for the solution .. solution is simple, is THIS chapter of life worth your headache? cuz if aint, dont worry about worrying for it..
Re: calling off
isnt this thread supposed to be in LIFE-1 ??