I did give him space in the beginning.. yet, HE was the one who came to me (shortly after my, “offense”), and said not to do that. that space ISN’T what we need, rather, he wants me to do what I would normally do on a day-to-day basis.. I am finding that a bit hard because we are both upset… but slowly, I’ve gotten a little used to doing that.
as for the way he is acting.. initially, he stopped answering my calls, would barely text me in reply, and wouldn’t respond at all sometimes.
at home, he would keep a bit of a distance.. but slowly, he stopped doing the above, and started acting normal too, the way we used to be together.. and that’s when he came to be and said to not give space. basically, after work I would go home, say salam etc, and then just go to my room and watch something on my laptop, or clean, etc, just anything that wasn’t with him. he came into the room and sat down next to me and talked to me about how he doesn’t want that space, and for us to try to work together, although it will be hard.. I agreed.
so, I don’t mind bending over a little backwards for a relationship that I believe in. I want to get back 100% into the groove of things, but I also fully understand it will take time.. which is what I’m (im)patiently doing.
as far as the expressing gushy lovey stuff.. it’s what we are used to .. I don’t care what anyone says, that it’s not good if it’s too much, or guys don’t like it, whatever.. the way we work (and still kinda do), is that we do that as one way to express our love for one another.. that is something we jokingly hold against each other - again, JOKINGLY if one of us forgets cuz we are in a rush or something. .. whatever..
even now, through these difficult times, he will remind me to hug him when im leaving the room - when I pretend to forget..
I still give him space, it’s not like im constantly trying to talk to him, or dont leave him alone.. im actually, quite the opposite.. in any relationship, i’ve always been a firm believer in giving a little space, otherwise its just too much to handle.. and he feels the same way. (for ex, we have a couple friend, where the girl flat our REFUSES to go anywhere without her husband because its just not ‘fun without him’. I find that extremely annoying, but thats just how their relationship works i guess. so good for them. my husband and i dont do that.).. my husband, sometimes 2, or even 3 times a week goes out with friends, i dont say anything.. i want him to enjoy his time out.. other times his friends will come over to our place and just hangout in the basement, while i do my own thing- whether that’s going out with my girl friends, or something around the house.. the times he questions whether he should go or not, i push him to do it.. we dont always have to be together 100%, thats just annoying, and he knows that.. all of the above, goes same for vice versa
but the type of space everyone here is talking abut, thats a different kind.. and as i’ve mentioned, he doesn’t want that space.. which is fine with me..
the little improvement thus far is giving me hope that our future isn’t as bad as i’m imagining it to be… but if in reality, it does take a turn for the worse.. then so be it.. we’ll handle that when we get there i guess.
i am praying my plans for new years works… praying really really hard