I watched an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond in which Ally (his thirteen year old daughter) is invited to a formal party and the hostess (mother of a class mate) arranges for the girls to all purchase dresses from a particular store. The dress turns out to be $250, which all parents find exorbitant, but give in nonetheless.
Raymond ends up in an argument with the mother of the class mate and she ends up insulting him. Ray tells Ally that they’re leaving and storms out of the store yelling, “Come on Ally. Let’s go”. Ally defiantly keeps screaming, “But why daddy??!!”
I’ve seen a couple of kids go through this phase where they defiantly demand “Why!”. How do you handle this?
How do you answer questions that the child simply does not have the age or experience to understand the answers to?
The biggest problem in our culture (Which has popped up and which is also quite unIslamic) is that we take kids as kids...
True, some things should be hidden from them for a certain time, but I think everything must be explained in detailed and simple manner to every child...
The child may be a child but it has intellect...It can recognise emotions and such as well as any grown up...
So explaining in detail is best...Talk to a child like he was a grown up...They are smarter than you think...
I saw that episode, n all those type of parents who will give in to insanely ridiculous demands are retarded and should stop reproducing to protect society! :p Okay kinda kidding bout the sterility part but still..
Uhmm.. basically you sit them down and explain the deal.. they're kids, they're not stupid brainless fools unless thier parents are as welll..
the thirteen year old isnt a child, a few generations ago in her own country currently in some parts of the world she would be married and have children at that age..
the main problem with these kids is that Parent mollicoddle their kids when from a very early age and have to justify any commands to them
“put on your shoes”
“Why”
“because you are going to school and your you need to protect your feet”
“Eat your dinner”
“Why”
*Arrgghh:mad: *
go to a shopping mall and you’ll see people pleading with their kids…
they know who the boss is… and its not the adult!
the parents need to teach their offspring who the leader is
and also
Children should be seen and not heard!
Well, my son is too young to raise the "WHY?" argument. But I have seen it, when I was in Pakistan my jethani had to deal with her 2 kids. I feel that its really difficult, because she had her own reasons to say NO to the kids, the kids used to fight with her, and go to their dadi, who'll ruin things for their mother. And give the kids whatever they were asking. So the kids thought dadi is the only angel around.
I know its entirely other issue, but its hard to deal with the kids at this age. Esp. when someone is there to spoil the kids.
Try reasoning with the kid, obviously can't be done so explain it to the kid, that you are too young to understand why, just have to trust your mom/dad
a girl is travelling with her dad in a train.she asks him ''dad wat does sex mean''.he says i will explain to u later.they get off the train n the dad says ''baby can u pick this suitcase''. she replies ''no daddy,its tooo heavy,i cant''.he says ''yes baby ,till u get strong enuff n grow up ill carry it for u.just like that ur mind/brain is small too,it cant understand wat sex means just yet.do u trust me to hold the meaning for u so that wen u grow up ill explain it then?''.she says ''yes daddy'' and with complete faith n relaxation skips away.
some people have the ability to simplify things n explain,some dont and u cant sterilize those who dont or ban them from having kids.
wen i asked abt sex my parents brought me an encyclopedia n my mom said dont believe anything u hear outside,come n confirm with me first.2 yrs later i got another encyclopedia with much more detail,then another with showed evrything,by then it was ok,and i understood.my mom was and is always a friend to me n i believe in friendship between parents n children coz later in life even wen the kids have grown up,some just dont have the courage to approach their parents with various issues,be it sex or love or watever.
All of the older generation were given a slap ( at the very least) and they are not all lunatics, if anything we have more of them now. Overly reasoning with children and not setting boundaries gives then an over inflated sense of self-importance.
Its hard these days with all the media blitzing about child abuse and all the psychologists saying that smacks are abusive. A really good smack could get the Child Welfare agency knocking on your door to investigate you. I'm not into beatings, quite far from it but a smack on the butt goes far. The "experts" disagree. Anyway, this giving in to ridiculous demands like the one described is just dumb. Kids need to fit in and all that but it has to have limits and kids CAN understand if the effort is made.
see I disagree, I stood out like a sore thumb at school and its made me amazingly confident, why shouldnt my kids have the oppotunity to gain the same wealth of knowledge and be as self assured as my fab self?
Make that, a slap AND hideous clothes :k: With frills (regardless of gender, if frills are in they shall go frill-less)
Mama, and I would give you my next paycheck if I wasn't a leach on my parents and therefore currently jobless, for being right for the foreseeable future :p
I will go hun no problem lets go and spend $250.00 bucks some place else.
I will buy you a new bike? doll house? or instead i will buy you 10 outfits for $250.00.
but i am not spending $250.00 on a dress which you cant even wear more than once.
If my husband did that i'd hurt him. We should be the bad guys together or the good guys together.
On a side note, I don't believe in hitting. I was hit as a child and it just made me resent. Parenting is so hard. . . you never really know which way is going to work until they're all grown up.
The biggest problem in our culture (Which has popped up and which is also quite unIslamic) is that we take kids as kids...
True, some things should be hidden from them for a certain time, but I think everything must be explained in detailed and simple manner to every child...
The child may be a child but it has intellect...It can recognise emotions and such as well as any grown up...
So explaining in detail is best...Talk to a child like he was a grown up...They are smarter than you think...
Children are NOT "it's" and must NEVER be referred to as "it".
Every child will ask why as soon as they learn how to say it. There's no right or wrong way in dealing with it. "Because I said so" is highly patronising and teach's the child nothing but how to say the same when they are older...that adults say things and children must accept it without ever questioning anything again.
Honestly is always the best policy with children, however age and child's maturity are key factors to consider.
