Cronnicles of my 4 year old
Her new thing is " I am not hungry" - What do I say to that? She takes 2-4 bites but doesn’t finish her meal and say she is full.
I am trying to set up good eating habits and don’t want to force her to eat. She is starting kindergarden in September and she should be able to eat a proper meal without my constant intervention.
Help!
Re: "But I am not hungry"
i need help too...my 4 year old is the same....
i have a technique which you could try...he would moan that he is not hungry, i wouldn't tell him that he needed to finish his meal, i just told him to have 5 or 6 (any reasonable number) more spoonfuls and count with him as he ate, it worked, at least it was better than the 2 to 3 spoonfuls
saying this he doesn't eat unless i tell him to...i've been told that he is just attention seeking????
Re: "But I am not hungry"
Hi there, not a parent yet but very experienced with kids. Young kids age 9 months to 4 years may refuse food and its okay, so don't panic. When they are hungry they will eat. Forcing them food may get them on a road to bad food habits. They may associate hating certain foods to being forced to eat those certain foods as a child. Food refusal is the term used when a child refuses to eat their food. There are a number of reasons why a child may refuse food: Children go through development stages where they will not co-operate with others - it is normal for children to say "no" and refuse to do something. children enjoy mealtimes as an experience and enjoy playing with the food as much as eating it. children may not like the taste of the foods they have been given to eat. Children have small appetites and do not want or need large quantities of food. Don't set up a lunch time for your child and expect them to wipe their food clean off of their plate. Take it in steps. Give the child 2-3 healthy choices for lunch and have them eat as much as they want (unless but very unlikely at this age, if they overeat stop it right away to prevent this bad habit early.) Giving them choices makes them feel they have control over the food rather than a parent begging or forcing them to eat. Don't "tell" them it is food time or they have to eat and certainly no dhamkis with young ones. Be caring. Remind them often of lunch until THEY want to eat. Oh and remember: young ones have smaller stomachs that aren't fully developed yet so they get full faster. For some kids it may be five bites and others ten bites. Be patient and caring when it comes to food time to establish good early eating habits. If your child wants to snack, let it be a good time to let them eat good foods. Snacking is not too common at this age but on long car rides or at the park they may need a quick fix. Give them small sliced apples and grapes or some other fruit for a snack rather than sugary juices, cookies and such. To this day I love eggs, spinach, broccoli and other food items that most people tend to dislike at a young age and carry on into adult hood. I thank my Mom for introducing me to these foods early on. Hope I have helped in any way. Feel free to ask questions. I am not an expert so don't seek my advice as the only advice. Talk to the child's pediatrician too if you have concerns. They may say what I have said plus much more valuable information.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
I was going to start a similar topic. my 4 year old cousin is just the same. No matter what is cooked all he has throughout the day is yoghurt or copious amounts of milk. He does not eat solid food and it is quite worryin because he is a growing little boy and everyone has tried so hard to get him to eat but he doesn't.
:(
Can anyone suggest anything?
We have tried making food he wants, sitting him down with us, taking him shopping for foods he likes the look of etc but to no avail.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
njgal does your littleun drink milk as well... bcos i think that maybe the root of my sons problem, and possibly DDR's cousin too
Re: "But I am not hungry"
I've dealt with the full range in this category! I guess most kids are like my middle son who is a fussy eater and was very attached to milk. The very best advice I can give is to find a food chart for your child's age, it says how much milk, fruit, veggies, carb, protein etc etc that they need in a day. Then stick to it, serving them just the right portions of everything - if its 16 ounces of milk per day, then give that much and not an ounce more. Also serve them a healthy meal, if they dont eat it, let it go, do not serve them something different! Do this for 3 or 4 days and you'll probably start seeing a huge difference. Most kids will eat once they realize that they're not going to get that big glass of milk instead of their meal or a nice bowl of yogurt if they dont want to eat their veggies and it can take 3 or 4 days. My middle son did lose a little bit of weight during those few days but put it back on just as quickly once he realized that things have changed and he got hungry.
If this does not go well, like with my eldest son, then its time to see a GI doc.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
What if they flat out refuse to eat solid food? My cousin can drink bottles of full fat milk everyday. All he consumes is milk and yoghurt and has done for a few years now. When he is hungry he will ask for milk.It is as if he is addicted to milk. It is very concerning because I get worried he is not going to be healthy. At his age he should be having a variety of solids, and he is still a growing child.
My phupo has given up pleading/bribing and forcing him to eat, but I find it all too worrying. Now that he has a newborn born it is even more worrying, because he feels as if the little brother has taken over.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
Dildrani, does he have trouble chewing or swallowing? Is his speech delayed at all? How old is he?
He knows that he's going to get his milk if he refuses to eat so he will continue refusing. If he is able to safely chew and swallow, they've got to limit the milk even if he eats nothing for a few days or it will just continue and you're right, thats not healthy.
You may want to tell them about the early Intervention program...they can help by providing free in-home evals and therapy for this. A Speech Language Pathologist is trained to help children learn to chew and swallow when they are behind for their age.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
pyaare - no she is not that much into Milk anymore either. Once she let go of her bottle - she started eating solid food on her own.
I think she has just learned an excuse of "I am not hungry". If she doesn't finish - she'll ask for a snack after an hour which means she didn't eat properly in the first place.
phooljari - great post. i do believe that forcing kids to eat does develop in poor eating habits later on as well. I am trying to teach her to determine when she is full or not. I feel i give her appropriate amount to eat on her plate.
I have 5 months till she starts school and I don't want her to be hungry the whole day. I have started saying you have to finish 20 bites of any meal. So she counts and I feel that is enough.
mama - do your boys finish what you put in front of them?
Re: "But I am not hungry"
What if they flat out refuse to eat solid food? My cousin can drink bottles of full fat milk everyday. All he consumes is milk and yoghurt and has done for a few years now. When he is hungry he will ask for milk.It is as if he is addicted to milk. It is very concerning because I get worried he is not going to be healthy. At his age he should be having a variety of solids, and he is still a growing child.
You need to slowly cut the amount of milk. With my older daughter - we jsut had to throw the bottles. By the time they are 2 1/2 - I think they should be drinking from sippy cups or cups anyways.
Dildirani - try this. I usually sit in front of my other daughter and put a piece of anything fruit or roti in my front and show her how I chew it. Then I put a small bite in her mouth. I say "ummm yummy" (You don't have to :))
I would start with banana and apples.
I got smarter with my 2nd one - when she was about 4 months - I use just take my finger ( washed ofcourse) and let her taste EVERYTHING. I mean everything like achaar, vegetables, marmalade. Whatever we cooked at home, I gave her a taste of it.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
nj, my eldest rarely finishes his meals. Middle son a bit more than half the time finishes. Little one, he's like me and loves to eat...he rarely leaves anything on his plate and asks for "more pleez" about half the time. Middle son is the one who was so attached to his milk - still is at almost 7. If I let him, he'd live on just milk and junk food. When he has a few meals that go pretty badly, I eliminate desserts and limit milk to 16 oz in a day and then he eats properly.
I do agree that its not a good idea to force eating. But by limiting their intake to the proper amounts of each food group, typically they'll fall in line pretty quickly unless theres some underlying condition. But something I've also learned is that when you say ok, they arent eating their meal so I'll make them something different or give them a big glass of milk...thats when you're perpetuating the problem. In the majority of cases, kids will eat when hungry even if it isnt something they particularly prefer.
Re: “But I am not hungry”
this may sound daft but I would find it scary to not give him anything for a few days.
He has no problems with speech, chewing or swallowing it is just I guess he has got into a nasty habits. He just turned 4. He is actually doing really well in pre-school. He is ahead of his class and performs well in homeworks.
Rarely will he want to actively eat something. For example, when I went to stay with him I asked him what he wanted to eat, he said waffles and I made them for him but then he threw a tantrum and said he does not want it.
I am trying to help my aunty out. She has a 6 week year old baby, she had one week of maternity leave pre-pregnancy and post-pregnancy she does not have a lot of time left.
He does not like desi food. So we are struggling really hard to persuade him to eat nnon-desi food. He just has excuses for everything.
Honestly, everyone in our family has tried that:bummer: to no avail. Kind of at a loss as to what to do.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
dildrani, if he can eat safely without troubles with chewing or swallowing then he can surely go for a few days while things re-settle for him. I know its scary....very. But think about it...if he gets a bad virus he will not eat for at least 3 or 4 days. Yes, he'll lose a bit of weight but will come back quickly. The only way to break bad habits is to - well - break them!!
my son who had chewing and swallowing difficulty and speech delay due to low-tone of muscles in the mouth and throat...I was told to go a full two weeks without feeding him, encouraging him or assisting him in any way. This from a so-called social worker who was convinced that I was perpetuating his problem. His doc told me to go no more than 5 days and make sure he doesnt get dehydrated and she didnt like the idea much at all but understood that the social worker needed to see the severity of the problem. He actually ate a total of maybe 5 potato chips and about 8 ounces of milk per day for 5 days. Was considered borderline "failure to thrive" at the start, was well into "failure to thrive" at the end of this experiment. Imagine if I took the advice of this "specialist" and gone the full two weeks. Anyway, he is a rare one...its more typical that a child is like my middle son who is just a fussy eater and if I let him get away with it, he'd just have milk and cookies and chicken nuggets. 3 days of healthy food offerings and limiting milk and junk always gets him back on track.
Sorry to ramble. But I hope this helps a bit.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
Its a common problem and yes as there are a lot of chices available here unlike back home . Also desi kids are mire likely to be smaller in stature than their counterparts so they need less. My kids are the same too. My eldest is the pickest. Its not that he doesn't want anything but he wants junk and desi, mac and cheese etc. How I dealt with it wasto organize mock competitions between him and his younger sister (she eats veggies) and if she "won" he would be livid and force himself to eat the same food. Now most days he will eat curry and roti with much less fuss than before and might even try veggies. I would give small dollar store toys as prizes.
Re: "But I am not hungry"
DDR has your cousin always been like this, or has it just started since the baby has come along, if that is the case, then you should tell your auntie to try and maintain a mealtime routine with him...she needs to leave the baby out of the equation while she is feeding her older child...he may just be attention seeking, refusing food is his only way of getting mummys attention.
i worry about my sons eating habits, but he has good bowel movements, so obviously something is going through his system :)
Re: “But I am not hungry”
Pyaare and Mamaof3
Thank you so much for all your advice and guidance.
He has always been like this. We were hoping he would snap out of it sooner or later but thus far nothing has happened. I will pass on this information to my aunty, and will encourage her to eliminate milk totally and see how he reacts and whether he eats other foods. I made him trifle because he told me he likes it but he really needs substantial foods. I hope he will change his eating habits.
The new arrival has made things slightly worse but he has always been keen to drink milk over food.
Mama- I hope your son is ok now.
Thank you ladies:hugz: