Brother Ki Shaadi

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Ok, so who here has been involved in the rishta decision for their brother, and to what extent?

2

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

:biggthumb:

3

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

yes... I relayed my brother's "pasand" to the parents and then got a huge ear-full

No other involvement. At that time, my life was more precious to me.

4

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

my elder brother got married with the daughter of my father's childhood friend. we were like families not just my family and my bhabhis family but our chahcas, phupos etc as well. so my bhabhis Dad touched the topic to my dad about the possibility of the two children marrying to each other. My dad and mom then talked about it to all of us in one sitting and i still recall that all of us siblings joyously screamed with a Yes. My brother at that time was like excuse me, its my marriage you people are talking about and i will give my answer after talking to the girl. we were like you know are since you were kid then what to talk about but he said he will. so after talking to her my brother said Yes to the marriage. :)so the actual decision was made by my brother himself.

for my second brother's wedding, our relative talked to my mom about some girl in her susral. there was some wedding coming up so she showed the girl to my mom, my elder sis and my brother. my mom then asked my brother if he likes the girl but my brother wasn't ready for the commitment at that time and he said no. after two years when my brother got ready to tie the knot( and till that time the girl has also not gotten engaged) so my mom asked my brother if he would like to see that very girl again or has someone else in mind and he said he is fine for that girl. Then the things proceeded further and she became my bhabhi :)

5

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

Hmm my parents and I are trying to find a rishta for my brother at the moment (after checking with him first if he had anyone in mind- he didn't). This basically involves a screening process where my parents and I present options to my brother and he has the final say. We look at the usual things when searching for a partner such as education, level of conservatism, age, looks, family background, compatibility with my brother and our family etc. It is a very difficult process.

My rishta on the other hand was completely a love marriage. Hubby told his parents and siblings, everyone immediately said yes (he later told me that his dad took a grand total of 2 minutes thinking time :D ) and our nikkah happened very quickly afterwards.

6

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

me, 101% involved.

7

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

I wasnt for my older brother, my mom was. I didn't even meet the girl until the day of the nikkah. For my younger brother, i am trying to stay involved and find him something. BUT when he gets picky and picks out issues (useless stuff,) i get annoyed and step away from the process. So lets see what ends up happening with this one.

8

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

Currently my family is also looking for my younger brother and sister who are settled in Saudia. As I am here in US can't do much but I did told my parents that the potential spouses and families should be educated and my siblings should also agree with the match. These two things were already in the check list of my parents so not worried.

Me and my older brother did got involved earlier when our younger brother was getting married as the girl he liked was Panjabi speaking and was not highly educated as our family so my parents were kindda opposing it. So me and my elder brother persuaded our parents that these things don't matter now a days if the parties involved like each other and my younger brother is sensible enough to understand what he is getting into so then my parents agreed.

Now however I'll not go with some one who is not from an educated background as we learnt a lot from my younger brother's union.

9

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

Not involved at all with the eldest. The rest I had a role to play as the nand who had to give her blessings :D .. Kidding, I had no say. They picked them and then introduced them to me as "She wants to be your bhabhi" :)

10

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

Didn't get involved much.. just gave my opinion if asked..

11

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

My opinion was asked but at the end it all depended on my brother. He would have got what he wanted even if I gave a negative opinion :D

12

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

Brother 1: he chose his spouse
Brother 2: at the moment he is not ready but when he is, his say is what will matter.

13

I have. It was very simple thing

Bro- I have been talking to this girl and I really like her
Me- cool, happy for you. Tell me more about her,
Bro- *provides detail
Me- Happy for you dude.

A year later they were married.

14

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

My mum chose for my bro - my bro was happy with whatever. I found out jab baat ho rahi thi and I didn't have any aitraaz... not sure how much effect it would've had if I did lol

PCG - ask the same question but genders reversed: how many brothers were involved in the rishta process for their sisters? Cus my brothers... even including brother-in-law, were all heavily involved in 'screening' lol

15

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

nup, not at all. my bro came home one day and told my mum about his girlfrand. she was so happy that he wanted to get married she said yes straightaway.
the end.

16

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

​Good point

17

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

I am sorry... I hate it when people treat marriage like this. What does "whatever" mean?! You're talking about another human being... not some faltthoo furniture piece.

Ur intention may not have been bad... but I'd choose my words a bit better if I were you.

18

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

worst thing a man can do is to involve sister in rishta process.

19

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

and Bhabi............. ask pcg :(

20

Re: Brother Ki Shaadi

It may be double standards--but I think that's cute when brothers are protective of their sisters and get involved in the process.
Not so much when its the other way around.