Yeah and that's exactly what I'm saying. I can go meet her up all I want and so can my sister. Till my parents approve of it, my bro's getting no signal. It's a different story that he goes ahead anyways and does what he wants. It's a compromise eitherways. He can either please my parents and hate his wife, and that would never make my parents or us happy. Or he can choose to go and marry her rightaway which wont make my parents happy either cuz he did what they didn't want him to RIGHT NOW. And again, cuz of that we would all hold grudges against his gf/wife so the situation wouldn't change. If they let him date and choose who he wanted to marry, they wouldn't be conservative, now would they be? The other thing is the family racial difference. We're urdu speaking, and she's not... Tons of other issues. Like I said, I'm indifferent.
And for all I know, they might've already done a secret paper-marriage/ nikah.. who knows!! See, you can't please everyone. That is why I would rather watch out on my sister while I can.
i think the sister topic has already been discussed by others and well. you keep adding it as a footnote when it seems your problem is not that at all.
all i can say is alhumdulillah that my parents are so cool. we are looking for my brother right now and there is no way our dad and my brother can both be pleased. my dad knows this and had said 'at the end of the day i'm not going to be in this world much longer, all i want is for you children to be happy and have good spouses who will keep the family together and stick with each other through thick and thin. as long as you think you have found that, that's what matters above what i think.'
this is because of the girls my bro was introduced to, the one he likes is not pakistani but she's very much what he wants in a wife.
so, i don't think your parents should 'compromise' but they should look at the bigger picture.
and i don't think your parents are conservative, i think they just want to appear to be. hence turning a blind eye to your brothers activities, rather than saying 'NO you can't marry her' or 'Dating it not allowed so we are going to take the steps for marriage'. and also, isn't it up to the girls family if they are okay/not okay with your brother not working yet etc?