Yeah we've been down that road too. My parents have a say in this but obv it's all upto my brother to do what he does. As for my parents approval, it may come at some point, but definitely not right now. He's still too young for marriage with our family standards. Most of the guys in my family get married late 20's. It's just been that way. I mean my bro's tried talking to my parents to take a rishta to her place and what not. They just say "all in good time". Right now he has to focus on his school. Which is also true. If he doesn't graduate, get a job, he can't support the larki anyways. And yeah, that's all VERY essential before we accept a rishta in our family, or send one :)
And I've seen tons of guys and girls married who are really not mature enough to handle inlaws and everyday life which happens after you've gotten comfortable with the newly married phase. This is why perhaps my parents are not sending in their approval. And given my bro's volatile nature, they're prolly right. He still needs a lot of growing up. But that's not the point. I just don't want my sister to be associated as someone's gf.
And you all hate me for being a typical sil. Someone or the other will eventually hate my sister too. She could have a happy secure life too like I did. Dating doesn't always end up happy!
i haven't read any subsequent posts but this attitude is not right imo.
if they love each other and want to marry, they should and asap. your parents, unless they oppose it due to 'real' reasons, should not be prolonging this. there is no way they can islamically justify this.
yes, all involved might not be acting in a proper islamic way according to some but two wrongs don't make a right. best to make it halal asap unless they are just hoping this relationship will just come to an end of its own accord. quite sad really.
i more or less agree with Rasmalaii, your brother doesn't need your parents approval to marry her - we do this out of love and respect for our parents. if he has his heart set on her, you should help him in convincing your parents not to delay if anything.