Salaam everybody I’m new to this. Hope your all well.
I just needed some advice. Earlier this yr I was suppose to get married but my rishta broke of. We argued like every couple does over little things here and there, but we put it down to wedding stress.
However he was the type of guy who use to tell his mum about our arguments therefore she would ring me telling how to behave with her son and that he needed love. He was the only son living with his mum only as his parents split up when he was young.
As it happens one day his mum rang me out of the blue asking me if everything was oky between me and her son, I was like yes Aunty everything’s fine. She replied well my son doesn’t look too happy, I asked have you spoken to him. She said no I’m asking you have you two fallen out I said no were fine. She was like bayti I know what I’m about to say is harsh but I have to say it. I was like it’s oky Aunty you can say whatever to me. So she was like a man can find another partner not another mother and that if you and my son ever argued id take his side. I confused at to why she was saying all this anyway I stayed quiet and listened and said Aunty me n him are oky and il speak to him.
Anyway few minutes later after I put phone dwn he rings me saying what have you said to my mum she sat here crying. I was like i didnt say anything and here’s what she said to me. He was like grow up and so what if she said what she did. I got really upset and didn’t have a clue were all this was coming from therefor I just said look I need space and put phone dwn.
I didn’t speak to him for 3 days then my mum spoke to his mum to ask if everything was oky she was like yeah nothing’s wrong etc etc. then I get a phone call from his day later saying y I mentioned to my family what is mum said and that I should be ther garment protecting them. I basically told him his mum was harsh and what she said hurt but he didn’t care.
Anyway couple days went by again we didn’t speak. Then one morning he rang me and said btw I’v thgt about this and I don’t want to marry you. I’v done istakhra and it not looking good.
But how can one do istakhara after Zaban had been done. We had booked venue bought outfits ring etc. ther was only couple of months to wedding.?
i have been feeling so lost since the day things ended. I mean they didn’t even come dwn or his elders try sorting things out. I feel soo bad thinking why did I make issue about what his mum said and now each day im
beating myself up about it, thinking had I not been so stupid in making a bit deal about what his mum said I would of been happily married.
Plz guys would you have reacted any other way in my situations?