Religious guidelines for succesfull marriage are extracted from the married life of the Prophet:saw2: and his relations with his wives… per se Sunnah
Now, for a muslim, if he/she believes in Islam, Allah, Muhammad:saw2: and then the written words of Quran that in the life of the prophet:saw2:, we have a role model of guidance for life then, throwing such guidelines out of the window because “a religious scholar” said so and therefore it’s junk, is simply denying of Quran
Religious scholars are not dumbos who, when had nothing else to do, became religious scholars ...
In most cases that is very true. Not in all cases though. I have not come across a scholar yet who is expert in human relaltion in addition to being Muslim religious scholar.
Its amazing that people would rather read 'Men are from Mars ...' to keep their marriage intact, when that author himself is divorced ..
There is nothing wrong with it, is it ?
Religious scholras dont create things out of thin air .. they backed it up with Hadees and Quran ...
If everybody follows the Hadees and Quran to the letters then we will not need to work on bringing back that spark in life, it will not go missing anyway. But since we do not live in a perfect world we need Men are from Mars and John Grey.
Yes,
and that is the biggest problem
What is the biggest problem with floating the opposing ideas in a civilized manner in a public forum. If we all start seconding the opinions then GS will be no more. No ?
That’s a very valid point, however, it is important to realize that just because someone is proclaimed to be a “religious scholar”, that does not necessarily equate to them following the Quran and Hadith. I am not saying that is the case for this thread but just generally speaking you wouldn’t want to take such things with blind faith. There is a lot of junk that is tossed out there in the name of religion.
Quran and Sunnah if followed to the letter , will not let that spark die. But we do not live in a perfect world therefore we need books like Men are from Mars and University graduates with degrees in Psychology , psychiatry.
If you have cancer Quran and Sunnah does not prescribe any medication for it similarly if husband and wife are missing spark from their life Quran and Sunnah does not provide you ways and means to bring that spark back. You need a relationship expert for it not a taveez.
Quran and Sunnah if followed to the letter , will not let that spark die. But we do not live in a perfect world therefore we need books like Men are from Mars and University graduates with degrees in Psychology , psychiatry.
If you have cancer Quran and Sunnah does not prescribe any medication for it similarly if husband and wife are missing spark from their life Quran and Sunnah does not provide you ways and means to bring that spark back. You need a relationship expert for it not a taveez.
unless you think you can not get relationship expertise guidance from Prophet's life, ofcourse :)
:biggthumb
If bhabs had said these words came from some renowned author or she read them in a book/magazine, you would have a flock asking for names, issue # and what not. The fact that it comes from a religious person suddenly takes a whole new meaning because Muslim aalimahs are probably training women to be submissive, quiet biwis.
I don’t understand what the big deal is when all these are just some pointers in helping you having a calm, peaceful married life. Noone’s saying oh if you don’t do this, you’re in for a doomed marriage.
i dont think a wife (or hubby for that matter) is being a doormat just cus she's not giving the hubby a headache as soon as he walks in the door..
we both work, and the last thing we both wanna do is fight or argue about something upon seeing each other. How is that being a doormat? there are days when im at work and hubby is working from home.. or is sick at home.. and when i get back, the last thing i want is nagging... would i call my hubby a doormat? no... its called caring.. giving someone space and time to breathe and relax once they get back..
in regards to biting your tongue.. there are a lot of things we say when we are angry... a lot of the time when we are talking to our parents or even friends, we hold back on some stuff so that we dont cause havoc.. if we apply the same to a hubby/wife relationship.. why is it so wrong?
listening to ur hubby doesnt make u a slave... and same applies in reverse
it's not wrong if that's what works for you. but it does not work for everyone and not biting your tongue does not make for a bad marriage. With my parents i have to hold back; with my husband I don't. . . and he doesn't either. . .and I think it makes our marriage stronger, thank God.
You hit the nail on the head, people do change and grow over a life time, and i'll add to that, that we all need a little improvement in areas. We all have weaknesses and strenghts in different areas.
Okay so what exactly is wrong with biting ones tongue and watching what they say? let's say that when a couple argues, the woman says the meanest and nastiest things to him, attacking his character and his family as well. does this mean that she shouldn't have to change at all b/c speaking in anger is part of her personality and who she is?
I don't agree with biting one's tongue b/c everything that my husband thinks about me, I would like to know. I afford him the same honesty . . . even if he needs to vent and doesn't mean what he says. Our communication is very open. It may not be for everyone but it works for us, thank God.
As far as your question about changing parts of one personality, I would say that there are fundamental characteristics in a partner that I look for. If he violates these fundamentals, we will have issues. If I violate his fundamentals, we will have issues. However, the other stuff---- is little stuff. It doesn't matter in the long run. In our case, me not "biting my tongue" and *****ing about something when he comes home from work is not part of the fundamental characteristics that we look for in each other. Consequently, any conflict arising from such a situation is a. never to be taken out of context and b. never that important.
We have had numerous arguments that arose from such an issue; I can look back at each of them and laugh. They make me smile; he feels the same way.
Thank God cause otherwise we'd have problems. I am not one to bite my tongue :p
Great, now that I have done the ‘put up’ part I am hoping you will have the sense to do the ‘shut up’ part and save us nonsensical posts like the one above in future
hehehe arshad thats exactly what came to my mind too and I remembered the post someone made once with the pointers in this video
Great, now that I have done the 'put up' part I am hoping you will have the sense to do the 'shut up' part and save us nonsensical posts like the one above in future
All my posts were about the prophet and sunnah and regarding islam... I do not know what nonsencsial part are you refering to.. ..... :)
Regardless of wat they say i hate maulvis..they are such hypocrites ..specially maulvi aunties..meesni si meethi meethi bateinn kar kay damag ka dahi bana deti hien..can’t stand them for a min!!
Is this common sense the reason why we see such "PEACFULL" marriage lives on GS
Are you suggesting that those who have written about marital issues lack common sense or have unsuccessful marriages? tsk.
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