So I attended this lecture a few days ago (yes, many of you have heard me talk about it in my blogs and other threads) by an Aalima. She talked about sabr from a woman’s perspective and marriage issues in today’s society.
Later, some ladies sat with her and asked her opinion on how to bring back the “spark” in their marriages.
This is a summary of what she said:
Do not EVER show spiritual superiority toward your husband. Only Allah is the true judge.
No matter how hard your day was, do not attack him when you see him in the evening. A man always wants to come back to a peacful home.
Dress up for him. Go all out. Find out his hot buttons. Become those for him.
Plan activities with just him. If you don’t like to do them, adjust the best you can. Your effort will be noticed.
Go to whatever levels he wants for his satisfaction (and we are all mature enough to figure out what I am saying here).
Bite that tongue.
Do not take him for granted. Always have room for improvement.
I am sure the guys had their own lecture by her husband.
I don’t like these lectures They make the women sound so negative and the guys sound like such angelic victims. I would like to lecture this aalima I also don;t see how many of these can be instrumental in bringing back spark. Both husband and wife should follow some of this stuff for a smooth marriage but seriously how does biting the tongue add spark?
They make the women sound so negative and the guys sound like such angelic victims. I would like to lecture this aalima 
I also don;t see how many of these can be instrumental in bringing back spark. Both husband and wife should follow some of this stuff for a smooth marriage but seriously how does biting the tongue add spark?