BrideZillas?

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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some ppl have mentioned to me that the posts here are starteing to sound like bridezillas…I’ve seen the show a few times and I always laughed at those girls..its so easy to laugh at them..now I know what matters the most is the relationship and the life after..so to stress out over hte tiniest details is just kicking yourself in the ass…Of course no matter how much one is part of the plnning, there is always going to be tension/nervousness before the wedding…

..Now that I look back at the days before the wedding, i’m happy to say that I was never so anal abt some things…Maybe because the engagement period was kinda short or more that everyone else was doing the planning and shopping while I was stuck here in NY, removed me from many of the pressures/tensions…knowing how stressed out i already was when things were happening, I dont know how crazy I would’ve gotten…

Shortly after my engagement, before the acutal wedding planning started, one of my friends told me that if I spent as much time focusing on my relationship as I am on the wedding I should have a happy marriage…it annoyed me because at the time it was assumed that my relationship was lacking in something (which it isn’t/wasn’t MashAllah) BECAUSE i was focusing on the wedding…so i can understand if some ppl will be bothered to read it…hell it annoys me even right now when I remember she said that, even though she was right.I’m honestly not trying to say that your relationships are lacking but rather focusing on even the most minute details really does not matter at all!

I, like all of you, had dreamed of the perfect dress, the perfect day, and most of all the perfect guy..but when I realized I got the last one, it made everthing seem not as important…

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thats fabulous, sara, and its awesome it worked out for you and that you dealt with not being able to shop/plan for yourself... but you make it sound like those of us who are involved in every little detail and are taking care of and worrying about that one particular day by ourselves, are silly or superficial or something :P which ain't true, lady friend :)

i think that yes, some of us do have personalities that focus on details and worry about them and want to deal with them and have everything be perfect, but its mainly got to do with high expectations set for ourselves. well, at least for me. i dont like to do things by halves- i dont do anything like that- no matter what i'm responsible for, big or small, its going to be detailed and planned out and coordinated to the last detail. thats me! :)

the way i see it is, my parents are giving us money to get married, we're only planning on doing it once (IA!), and we're going to have a huge party to celebrate! i see nothing wrong in that at all :) and im not saying thats what you're saying, im just saying that just cos a girl likes to be focused in on things, don't mean she's a bridezilla.

bridezilla's are crazy, unpleasant girls who take things to extremes and dont care who they hurt along the way. i saw one episode where the girl almost made her entire bridal party AND her mother cry! she spent the whole episode railing against her mom in law for being late, *****ed out her husband literally two seconds after the "I do", and then made a speech at the reception about how she was "going to get the people who delayed the wedding". i.e. her MIL! thats a bridezilla.

me worrying about my cake and kids, or wanting the perfect centrepieces or trying to match the right shade of brown on my tablecloths is not being a bridezilla, its me being me- call it being a perfectionist or being anal or whatever it is- but you can't tell me i'm superficial or that i don't think having the right husband is the most important thing. i absolutely realise that but that doesn't mean i want to compromise anything else wedding-related - to me, those two things are separate. and if anything, having found the right person, i want to do everything possible to celebrate with him and my family. i guess i'm just not as laid back as you are :) i admire that quality hugely!

i think people are overeager to classify some brides-to-be as bridezillas- its almost a trend nowadays. a wedding is a huge frickin' deal and its very emotional and some of us get the chance to plan our day the way we want it, and some of us don't- we each deal with things differently, u know? it doesn't make me a bridezilla and it doesn't make you someone who didnt give a **** about her day cos you didnt focus on the details :)

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Hey, I never said nor implied superficial biatches…I’ll admit, that I do regret that I missed out on that experience fo shopping for myself…maybe i dint get stuff that I wanted or pictured, but hey I looked great and thats all that mattered :phati:

Before I got married, I think i had a few ppl telling/implying, that simple weddings were full fo blessings, big weddigns only lead to failed marriages which IS simply ridiculous (I opened a thread on it in life1, hpefully ti’ll et moved here)…so no I would never say that to someoen else…My point is that there’s really no need to worry over the tinest, minute details…in the end it really just does not matter if your dress matched the napkins or how big and fancy the cake was…

Yeah you’re right, it is too quickly applied, sometimes as a joke sometimes seriously…It would really piss me off when someoen called me one, even as ajoke, becasue I seriously never saw myself as being that (and I still don’t think I was!)…maybe coz my personal belief is that clothing/jewelry/makeup are worth the trouble/worry…perishable things like cake isn’t..not that i’m saying you should get a freakin enteman’s cake LOL but just worrying so much, freaking out over wat someone is going to wear, its honestly not worth the worry or trouble…

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Discussing something on GS doesn’t necessarily mean that we go offline and actually dictate what people should wear and lose sleep over it. Sheesh! :cb:

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I think u just want that one day to go smoothly and perfectly to the way u planned. A lot of money, time and energy is spent in organising and arranging it so i can understand y girls do get stressed out-its the one day in ur life when all the attention will b on u(and hubz as well but of course the dulhan!) and u just want it to go well.

Neva seen or heard of the programme “Bridezilla” in London but it sounds funny tho.:phati:

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i call myself a bridezilla, but i take that word as seriously as it sounds, which isn't very much at all!!!! i think it is funny term!

call me what you want; bridezilla, anal, superficial etc. but i call it perfectionism and attention to detail.

I want things to be be perfect, i have the perfect man, and IA i will will have a long a happy marriage, we are soulmates i have no concerns about how my marriage will be, we have been together for coming up to 2 years. By putting effort into the wedding day doesn't mean i'll have a crap marraige!!!!

My wedding is small about 90 guests, so it isn't a big wedding at all!!! it is a small but carefully planned wedding, if i was wedding obsessed i'd be having a 500 people wedding with fireworks and horses but i'm not. Only nearest and dearest, because the day is special and i only want people there who i want there. I am therefore WANTING to give these people i love a wonderful day, it's my day, but i want people to feel special and enjoy every second of it.

Due to a number of reasons i am organising the wedding myself, with the help of dad's credit card!!!! However i am chosing the venue, outfits, flowers et but as a 25 year old independent woman , i think i can allow myself that responsibility!!!! Sara,i think you were brave handing over all responsibility, especially your clothes (which turned out good, as you looked lovely!) but i would never be able to relinquish that kind of responsiblity to others!!

i am just a perfectionist and i plan things to the T, it's just me and it always has been whether it is my wedding or my career,in which i decided to do medicine at the age of 12 and i succeeded with that too, so having an anal/perfectionist personality isn't always such a bad thing!!!!!!!

Mehnaz is also right, we rant on this forum, as we can't do it to the people we want to do it to. We moan and biatch, because we can only do it to you guys, it's not meant to be a serious discussion, we are just venting our frustrations!!!!!! do you really think we are going to clamber down the stage in our wedding gear to smack the kid poking his fingers in our cake?!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?

aao sab seee..
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i call myself a bridezilla, but i take that word as seriously as it sounds, which isn't very much at all!!!! i think it is funny term!

call me what you want; bridezilla, anal, superficial etc. but i call it perfectionism and attention to detail.

I want things to be be perfect, i have the perfect man, and IA i will will have a long a happy marriage, we are soulmates i have no concerns about how my marriage will be, we have been together for coming up to 2 years. By putting effort into the wedding day doesn't mean i'll have a crap marraige!!!!

My wedding is small about 90 guests, so it isn't a big wedding at all!!! it is a small but carefully planned wedding, if i was wedding obsessed i'd be having a 500 people wedding with fireworks and horses but i'm not. Only nearest and dearest, because the day is special and i only want people there who i want there. I am therefore WANTING to give these people i love a wonderful day, it's my day, but i want people to feel special and enjoy every second of it.

Due to a number of reasons i am organising the wedding myself, with the help of dad's credit card!!!! However i am chosing the venue, outfits, flowers et but as a 25 year old independent woman , i think i can allow myself that responsibility!!!! Sara,i think you were brave handing over all responsibility, especially your clothes (which turned out good, as you looked lovely!) but i would never be able to relinquish that kind of responsiblity to others!!

i am just a perfectionist and i plan things to the T, it's just me and it always has been whether it is my wedding or my career,in which i decided to do medicine at the age of 12 and i succeeded with that too, so having an anal/perfectionist personality isn't always such a bad thing!!!!!!!

Mehnaz is also right, we rant on this forum, as we can't do it to the people we want to do it to. We moan and biatch, because we can only do it to you guys, it's not meant to be a serious discussion, we are just venting our frustrations!!!!!! do you really think we are going to clamber down the stage in our wedding gear to smack the kid poking his fingers in our cake?!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?

Commuting sucks!!
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omg, we are having identical weddings! we're having 100 people, altho our aim was to have 80. oh well. and we'll have been together 5.5 years IA by the time we get married. and i agree with everything you've said, except for the last one... i'm totally smacking the kid! hahahaha :P

sara, man, you are so brave, hats off to you! (does anyone even use that phrase anymore? im dating myself :p). i couldn't have done what you did but in the end, you looked fab and your wedding was fun!

u know LJ and I and all of us should revisit this discussion 6 months after our weddings and see how things are then. i'm sure it'll be interesting.

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For me the wedding in pakistan was completly planned by other people, and the smaller reception in Canada i planned. I think i rather prefered the one in pakistan everything was lovely and i trusted the people who planned it cause when it got down to it i wouldn't have noticed if the napkins werent the right shade, or the floral arrangements didn't have the right flowers. The reception we did in Canada was nice too, but i was much more stressed leading up to it cause of all the planning.

I now have a certain appreciation for brides who plan their own wedding, it takes a lot both physically and emotionaly to do so. That being said i don't think its wise to sweat the small stuff.

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I've watched Bridezilla... Somegroovychick, I actually happened to see that episode you mentioned. That lady, and I use the term VERY LOOSELY, if you can even call her that, was a shameful excuse for a person. She wasn't a bride, she was a horrible monster. With a person like her, I would expect to see divorce papers being filed before the ink on the wedding certificate is even dry.

Anyways... back to the subject. I think like most ALL things in life, it's a matter of perspective, circumstance, and preference. What I want and need is not going to be what someone else wants, needs, or can afford. My own wedding is going to take place about 6 months from now. I've been fully in charge of planning and choosing every single thing, including my wedding outfit and jewelry. The wedding itself is going to be similar to an American style wedding, with only about 100 close friends and family. For me, having my wedding this way was my choice and desire. I don't like other people deciding things for me, especially if it's going to be a huge occasion for me. My wedding, I and my husband (we got married last year, this is going to be the official ceremony) are paying for it, and as such, it should be according to the way WE want it. Obviously, I want my guests to have a great time, and as such I've made sure the food and entertainment will be to the highest standards. But it's also imperative to me that my husband and I have a great time, and so we're doing things our way by not having a platform and chairs where we'll be sitting all night; instead we'll be dancing the night away.

Now, that being said, the fact that my wedding is going to happen this way is largely because of who I am and the way I am, and the circumstances surrounding it. I feel I've been truly blessed to have wonderful in-laws who treat me with complete love; they trust me, trust my judgement, and have no problems with me choosing and planning everything. Secondly, since the wedding is coming out of my pocketbook, I feel I have every right to assert my choices. If someone else were paying for it, then I would definitely cater to their desires as well.

Lastly, as I said, it's a matter of preference. Some are chilled out and have no problem with others planning things for them; others are not. I honestly don't think this makes this the difference between a 'bridezilla' and a 'regular bride'. Regardless of everything, every bride wants to feel special, and like a bride on her wedding day. (Off topic here, but I honestly would be very pissed if someone else came to my wedding dressed like a bride. My cuz is wearing here bridal sari, but it's fine cuz she had the courtesy to run it through me and I don't have a problem with it since I'll be wearing a lengha.) It's not a character flaw to be assertive and in charge, nor is it a character flaw to be chilled out, or somewhere in between depending on the circumstance. The only time it IS a character flaw is when a person, regardless of wedding day or what, acts like that monster did on her wedding day on the Bridezilla show. What should have been a happy occasion was captured on camera as being an ugly occasion, and made public for the world to see. And that's our American media, but that's a completely different topic and forum. :D

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ps - sorry for the long diatribe. Had to keep busy while waiting for dinner to be ready. Absolutely famished!

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syani, i agree with what you're saying... and yes, that woman was certainly a ***** first and foremost. i mean, she was just MEAN. i need to find that on youtube and post the link here for the rest of y'all to see.

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Ok the essay-long posts really only say just how defensive you lot are getting...

WE GET IT, you're paying for the wedding, but that doesn't give you teh right to be such control freaks that you're complaining about your inlaws before you're even married (that's just pathetic) or you're getting angry over what some little 15 year old wore (just how insecure and kanjooss are you???)

Errr I don't recall so much cattiness and kanjoosness in this forum in the past..unfo thi sis the downside of adding the wedding forum, watching others' insecurities and desparation emerge..

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strawberriesncreme... You need to actually READ the posts before you start writing and dissing. NO ONE here complained about future in laws. And it seems to me the only one in this thread being 'catty and kanjoos' is you with your uncalled for and irresponsible remarks when you jumped to conclusions without even bothering to read what others wrote.

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**
Oh I've read the posts,** just look at some of hte other posts in the other threads in this forum, mainly Muzna's "whos the bride?" thread and the "bridal pics" thread, and you'll find hte stuff i'm talking about...my statement was on the general attitude i'm beginning to c here......

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Hmm... well thanks for clearing that up. But it would make more sense to reply on those threads then, wouldn't it? The thing is, weddings are stressful for many people, and being able to vent about it online helps to keep emotions in check and (very hopefully) not have them actually come out as an ugly scene in reality. I've seen my share of friends get REALLY stressed over their weddings; I had more arguments with my best friend during 12 months of preparation for her wedding than I've had with her in the 15 years we've been best friends!! Lemme tell you, that wedding could not have come soon enough for us bridesmaids. It's annoying for everyone else... but hell... just ignore the posts then, and move on to nicer topics. Like shoes. And jewelery. And the fact that at least those two don't pack any calories. What they do to one's checking account is a whole different matter. :(

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strawberriesncreme- i think we're all expressing ourselves and explaining what makes us tick as far as the term "bridezillas" is concerned, since clearly its a bit of a hot topic at the moment. i think its great that we all have differing viewpoints and if you feel that its causing unnecessary tension or bringing down the standard of this board, then sorry... i think its kind of an elitist opinion and i don't agree.

are you married? if not, are you planning to be? if you're not married, maybe you should wait until you're planning a wedding and then maybe you'll see things from our perspective. if you're already married, are you seriously telling me you had no concerns prior and you just didn't care about how things turned out? you were that laid back? i find that extremely hard to believe.

as for your comment about how catty, insecure and desperate we sound -- i take offense to those words, actually... and i think you're response is a bit extreme. perhaps you need to take it easy and relax. like syani said, if this thread bugs you, stop reading it! :p

and i disagree, the general attitude on here is great - there are some brides-to-be here, and there are some ladies who've been married already- i think the brides-to-be use this forum, and the friends we've made here, to talk about and discuss our upcoming weddings and related stresses with, and the already-married's here tell us to chill and share their experiences/knowledge to ease our tension. whats the problem with that? this is a wedding forum, after all... i like discussing more than just the latest fashions and makeup artists, personally. weddings are not one-dimensional and neither is this board!

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So strawberriesandcream’s real identity finally emerges. :cb:

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Yesh, as a non-bridezilla :snooty::mocking:

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ok Sara.