Bridesmaids

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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My mother has bought mehndi clothes for my 6 closest friends who are going to be my bridesmaids. I want them to stand out since they’re like my family and I don’t have any cousins attending the wedding (they all live in Pak and it’s too hard with scheduling, work, etc) so I want them to be special.

For the wedding, I wanted to do a color coordinated thing. Originally, I had wanted black saris but I hadn’t anticipated my fiance wanting to wear black. As of now, I have black accents on my lehnga, my fiance has a black sherwani…so I’m rethinking the black sari idea. Do you have any other ideas? We want to keep it classic and romantic looking…our colors so far are red, black (very light accent) and either a white or gold (but not the super shiny gold).

  1. What color should I have the bridesmaids wear?
  2. Should I just give them the color and let them choose the outfit or have them all wear the same thing (ie: everyone wear black saris of their choosing vs everyone wear black vs everyone wear the SAME black sari). For the mehndi, their outfits are identical.
  3. Do I need to pay for the wedding outfits? My parents are paying for the mehndi outfit. If not, then how do I respectfully ask for $$ without making someone feel bad?
  4. Am I responsible for paying for hair/makeup? I’m having the same “group” of MUA do my mom/sister’s makeup for the mehndi/wedding but I wasn’t sure about the bridesmaids. I haven’t been a bridesmaid for a gora wedding so I don’t know how that works. I know it’s already getting pricey with the wedding expenses so I don’t want to add unnecessary stress to my parents. I also don’t want to come across as ungrateful because these girls ARE my closest friends–it’s just hard to pay for 6 girls hair and makeup.

help…please??

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Re: Bridesmaids

I'm not quite sure how it works in terms of payments etc. I think it depends on the families etc, and friendships.

Here in Dallas /Houston TX, at all the themed / co ordinated weddings, the brides family/or the grooms side have paid for all co ordinated clothes AND makeup etc.

Just recently a friends daughter was married.

On the baraat day , the bride, her parents, her brothers and groom all wore white/cream/ off white attire. Groom had a classic Lahori/Panjabi off white sherwani with the kulla, if that is what you call it (head dress).

The bride had 8 bridesmaids/attendants. All wore a beautiful deep red red shirt A line with hint of gold work (no dupattas), and light gold churidaar. Very, very understated elegance. The brides family paid for attendants everything (dress, makeup, )

Another friends daughter's wedding. Bride wore classic red, groom off white sherwani, all bridesmaids wore identical emerald green outfits from Chinyere, all paid for by the bride's family.

Another wedding.. bride wore white, groom wore black, bridesmaids all sported identical black saris with dull gold pallu (border).

In non Desi weddings, bridesmaids do pay their own way, unless the tab is picked up by bride/grooms side.

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Re: Bridesmaids

oh wow. i wish my family could afford to do that, but I don't think that's the wisest choice for me, given that they've already paid for their mehndi outfits and the makeup/hair is costing a lot (I just got an estimate).

Hmmm...for the bride that wore white , groom in black + bridesmaids in black --> did that look odd/bad? I'm doing red and fiance is doing black. I love the idea of black saris/black clothes to complement the red (and my friends look good in it and will stand out) but I don't know if that's too close to the groom.
I was thinking I can have them do gold but it's easier to find a black outfit so I don't want to make it hard on them.

I wonder if people would be ookay with getting their own shaadi outfit with whatever their budget is and sticking to a loose theme in terms of color vs me buying them something for a set price (that may be outside what they wanted to pay). I don't have much experience with this stuff.

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Re: Bridesmaids

anyone have suggestions for other colors for the bridesmaids that would go well with red and hints of black? Don't want it to be morbid and dark ; we're actually going for a lighter theme...i just like the black combo.

Any pictures would be helpful.

Thanks! :)

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Re: Bridesmaids

I think gold may be a good option!

I love wedding formal wear like this. These dresses are Faraz Manan so probably quite expensive! But you get the idea. You could always make the shalwar black, or have a black dupatta. Black velvet softens the look of black as well.

If it makes a difference, in Gora weddings, the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. Bridesmaids are there for the bride to help, to plan ect, not just as an accessory. So being a bridesmaid can be quite expensive (watch the movie Bridesmaids haha)

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a chinese friend of mine wore a traditional red and gold dress for the first part of her wedding ceremony, her groom wore a black tux and her bridesmaids wore a pretty v pale pink dresses with gold accents. Her decore was pale pink,cream and gold (dull gold). it all came together v nicely. i donno who paid for the bridesmaids.

above is stolen from he net but the pink i metioned was v similar/slightly paler with gold embroidery.

i think any pale color for the bridesmaids will work (pale pink, peach, pale lavender, pale mint, beige/champagne) … you could accessorize them with your accent colors … like red flowers for the hair, or matching gold/blk jewlery for all the girls.
personally, i dont like all bridesmaids dressed exactly the same. it looks too … staged. However, bridesmaids dressed in a the same color family, in style of their choice and maybe with one bit of accessory tying them all together (same color flowers as the brides/grooms attire for hair) looks v organic/natural. Plus that way its more affordable for you to get them all some for of an accessory vs the whole dress etc…
im pretty sure ive seen pics posted on this forum somewhere showing both ways … try a search.

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Re: Bridesmaids

Thanks! Yeah, I was thinking of letting them choose their own outfits and staying the champagne/cream family. And then I’ll see if we can find them matching accessories (chooriyan, etc).

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OFF TOPIC (I don’t want to start another thread…I have a billion already here) BUT any ideas on how to go about asking my friends to be my bridesmaids?

I was thinking of doing something like this:

I haven’t told any of them I’m even doing bridesmaids so they’ll be surprised. I just don’t know what proper etiquette is/how it’s typically done by people.
Does the bride take everyone out for dinner or something? Do I just mail out?
I was thinking of just texting them (I live far from them but I’ll see them in a month) to ask them and that’s it but this felt cuter. I just don’t know if I should see if we can all meet up (there 7 of them and they’re not all close friends with each other so they won’t just spontaneously be all together ever) or if I meet with each other seperately/smaller groups?

eep.

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Bridesmaids

I think gold will look nice all of them in black will take away the attention from your hubby and you

That invite is abit cheesy *sorry :( * you could do something different like an invite or cupcake in a box with a tag and a simple message saying yoh would love to x y z to be a part of our special day by fulfilling the role of a bridesmaid etc

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haha okay that's what I wanted a bunch of opinions because I didn't know if it was a little too cheesy. Should I just mail out these "invitations" or invite the girls out? Is it a dinner on the bride? Lol, I'm obvi the first of my friends to get married so this is so new to me.

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If you can get them all together that would be a nice way to tell them and if you go to dinner maybe you could just arrange the invites in envelopes for them, you know like a save the date but with an added bit to say about beint a bridesmaid.! If not even mailing them out would be fab! They dont have to cost an arm and a leg you can do them online and get them printed

Wish i was getting married again l so i could tweak all those bits i wanted lol!

haha okay that's what I wanted a bunch of opinions because I didn't know if it was a little too cheesy. Should I just mail out these "invitations" or invite the girls out? Is it a dinner on the bride? Lol, I'm obvi the first of my friends to get married so this is so new to me.
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Bridesmaids

Plus i know you mentioned about keeping costs low, so maybe not necessarily arrange a big fancy dinner even at home would be good!

Bridesmaids dress wise im sure any good friend wouldnt be offended to cover the costs of their dress etc maybe you could just buy a piece of jewellery they would wear not something ott expensive!?

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I found an old thread in regards to bridesmaid dresses , maybe you have already come across it.

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/553492-bridesmaid-dresses-who-pays.html

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Re: Bridesmaids

ugh I still like the idea of black. It's easy to buy an outfit on your own, it's easy to coordinate with...would that be totally weird though!? My lehnga has a little black so it wouldn't be too crazy but it's my fiance's outfit im' worried about.

maybe telling them EITHER gold or black and they can pick

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Bridesmaids

How about break the group up abit some in black some in gold? Or maybe gold with black?

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when you give people a choice you will have a great deal of variance when they turn up....unless you are going to do a pre-approval thing where you get to see what they select and have an opportunity to veto it. (this also leads to issues with conflicting tastes, etc.)

better to pick something simple.....like a black long kurta or dress and have them all do gold chooridaars and accessories.

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I was thinking about that too but the only reason I don't want to do the same simple thing is because for the mehndi, they're all wearing basically the same exact outfit. I don't want to turn them into clones for the wedding too. And it's easier/less $$ for them to pull out a black/gold outfit that they may already have (since it's a fairly popular color group for events) vs having to pay money for something that I'm going to get. My mother has more expensive tastes/is picky so she wouldn't get them something simple...it'd be unfair to have my friends pay for something that may be too much for them. And my parents spent a decent amount of money on their mehndi outfits (definitely not run of the mill "simple" outfits) so I don't want to have them pay for the wedding suits.

Hmm...the "variation" and the varying tastes is A LITTLE scary but this way , they won't feel like I"m dictating what they're wearing for every event. Plus, I think the 4th pic from the top with variety looks the best.

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Show pics of your lehnga. Maybe it'll be easier to answer knowing what color/style yours is

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My lehnga's getting made in Pakistan and I have no pictures. It's red kameez with gold kaam and the detailing/borders are in black.