Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
OK correct me because I am so paindoo when it comes to such things. A choreographed number means that they were practicing before marriage, right? Is not that little too odd?
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
OK correct me because I am so paindoo when it comes to such things. A choreographed number means that they were practicing before marriage, right? Is not that little too odd?
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
You’re so 1980s TLK
. Get with the program already. In fact, let’s you and me find our dance number and practice. Please please please please please?
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
I think a lot of it has to do with the comfort level the bride and groom have with each other.
^ This. I can totally understand why this would be awkward if it's arranged and the couple barely knows each other. But in cases like ours...where the bride & groom dated for years and both families and friends are aware of the fact that it's a "love marriage"......it's much easier b/c the couple have already spend a sigfinicant amount of time around each other and have a certain level of comfort.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Well, ahem .. "love marriage" couples might have a level of comfort but that level does not need to advertised on their wedding day.
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
yup, that would be some religious qawwali i am sure
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
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Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
I personally think the choreographed dance looks ackward and a bit unclassy, but if they are pulled to the dance floor thats fine (I come from a conservative family)
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Well, ahem .. "love marriage" couples might have a level of comfort but that level does not need to advertised on their wedding day.
It's just not the comfort thing - Barray buzurig are also present hence the sharam should be kept in check haina?
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Well, ahem .. "love marriage" couples might have a level of comfort but that level does not need to advertised on their wedding day.
To each their own. I guess me and my bf were raised very liberally - our families would actually love it. I really just don't want a boring, rona dhona wedding. Besides me, my bf and our friends spent a lot of our younger years in clubs dancing away.. it's what we do! LOL
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
It's just not the comfort thing - Barray buzurig are also present hence the sharam should be kept in check haina?
That's one thing that I find is sorely lacking.......respect for the wishes of the elders. Many of our parents might have become immune to the notion but grand parents will likely still do "hawwwww" at seeing a dulhan doing thumkay left, right and centre.
Do we care?
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
That's one thing that I find is sorely lacking.......respect for the wishes of the elders. Many of our parents might have become immune to the notion but grand parents will likely still do "hawwwww" at seeing a dulhan doing thumkay left, right and centre.
Do we care?
What if the elders don't care either? For example, my only living grand parent is my Dada. Both my Dadi and Nani passed away 5 years ago but believe me, they were the most FUN loving people ever so they would encourage it too. They loved weddings for the fun and dancing. And I'm not sure what kind of dancing people think is going on but it's definitely NOT like those half-dressed, token girls in Bollywood movies. Nope, no Britney Spears for me! LOL
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
OK correct me because I am so paindoo when it comes to such things. A choreographed number means that they were practicing before marriage, right? Is not that little too odd?
Not really. Well, not unless it was some kind of a seductive, raunchy dance. :D
Edit - okay, now I'm in splits of laughter imagining someone dancing to Ye Mera Dil like Kareena at their wedding. Oh the awkwardness!
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Well, ahem .. "love marriage" couples might have a level of comfort but that level does not need to advertised on their wedding day.
That's one thing that I find is sorely lacking.......respect for the wishes of the elders. Many of our parents might have become immune to the notion but grand parents will likely still do "hawwwww" at seeing a dulhan doing thumkay left, right and centre.
Do we care?
Both of the above are major assumptions based on the idea that every single person out there must have the same identical values/moral and level of religious commitment. The reality of the situation is the every single family has their own idea on what's acceptable and what's inappropriate during a wedding. With desi weddings, majority of the couples and their parents will not do something if they're aware that it would cause severe distress among the grandparents or the immediate social circle.
There are many families out there where love marriages are perfectly acceptable. Others still insist on the traditional 100% arranged route. Many families today are perfectly fine with desi brides wearing white (heck in rare cases even black!). Yet there are others who insist on the traditional red. The list goes on. Dancing is no exception. If a couple wants to dance at their wedding, and if both of their families are ok with it..........then there is nothing wrong with it. If a guest at the wedding finds the idea horrifying and is offended by it beyond words....they can choose not to watch that horrendous "display of comfort".
At the end of the day there will always be someone at every wedding who has something negative to say. At the end of the day, the couple needs to stay focused at making sure they, and their immediate family/friends are comfortable with everything going on. It's impossible to please all 300/400/500 people that're in attendence at ANY event.
P.S. Adding to Terebina's words....I have no idea what type of dancing you guys think we're talking about. I know at my Rumba, there was no a$s shaking or us grinding against each other. It was simply us gliding across the floor with foot steps and doing some turns. Most Indian weddings I go to generally do some type of ballroom/waltz type moves for the 1st dance. Going by the way its worded....it sounds like you guys are talking about some type of "couples gone wild" situation.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Not really. Well, not unless it was some kind of a seductive, raunchy dance. :D
Edit - okay, now I'm in splits of laughter imagining someone dancing to Ye Mera Dil like Kareena at their wedding. Oh the awkwardness!
LOL I think this is what people are picturing!
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
You girls are so cute if you are thinking that we are objecting because we are assuming that dance would be a raunchy one.
Pfft, kids.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
^ Yes what do children know about such grown-up things.
What difference does it make behind the reasons for the objection? Music, food, decor, who should choose bridal jora, what color she should wear, how much money should be spent on the wedding, blah blah blah blah blah. LONG list of things people can pick from on things that offend them. As I already wrote, there is always someone who has something negative to say about a wedding b/c something happened what wasn't to their liking or didn't fit into their own belief of what's appropriate or went againt their own values etc. It's very difficult for most people to simply be happy for a couple on their wedding day.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Paheli beta, lets agree to disagree.
and please do let me know when its your 14th birthday, I will send you a dvd of latest bollywood dance moves as a birthday gift.
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
Nobody is objecting to “love marriages”. I’m hoping that there are more of those out there today than the traditional kind.
I think that issue is that the extent of your “love”
, in our culture, is not expected to be on display. I’ve seen first dances where people were whispering to each other, “Why don’t they (bride and groom) get a room upstairs right now?”
Kind of like… a strapless wedding gown is lovely to look at and appreciated, in many circles it is not “appropriate attire” for a church wedding. Or even the whole white gown thing…how many non-desi brides these days wear white but can’t really uphold what it stands for… ![]()
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Well we all know (and no sati sawitri can deny that) couples when dating do kiss each other. Should we put that 'level of comfort' on display too on our wedding day?
*Oh no, it makes us happy dada jaan to shove our tongues in each others mouth in front of every one even before our nikah. Why are you after our happiness you old old man? *
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
there is always someone who has something negative to say about a wedding b/c something happened what wasn't to their liking or didn't fit into their own belief of what's appropriate or went againt their own values etc.
I have to whole-heartedly agree with this.
It's very difficult for most people to simply be happy for a couple on their wedding day.
I don't think that just by stating an opinion or preference one way or the other means that people are not happy for the couple.....that's a stretch and not really a fair assessment.