Re: Breaking Point
Mine was when I realised that I was made to be the bad person when asking for answers to questions I deserved to know...
Worst days of my life and still hurt.. When I lost my own self respect and confidence.. when I questionned everything I did incase I made it difficult for the other..
Re: Breaking Point
Hi confucius sis,
too bad we dont live near by....I would had loved to have a chit chat in some cafe...kuch apni kahoo, kuch meri sunoo. Your reaction is normal as a before and after math of a crises. Just wanted to say, Im all ears if you need....
And a HUGEEEEEEEEEE hugs and for all the girls out there.....I so wish, I could protect ya....
Case-study:
Whats your field of work? Your study method, was it PBL? Problem based learing. Im just curious...and thanks for your feedback, they are needed.
Re: Breaking Point
you are right. for an apology to be accepted, it must have an absolute resolution to not engage in the same behaviour again, under any situation.
But an apology becomes useless when the same behaviour for which the apology was made is repeated...and that too again and again...:|
Very true...apologies have become lame and hollow. A true apology is actually very difficult to do.
There is no breaking point in a relationship; either you become boring or the other person loose interest in you.
Not entirely....In cases where interest is lost...you may not reach "breaking point." As I mentioned earlier, the relationship is usually ended in the stage before breaking point. I think you reach ultimate breaking point when love or other interest is still attaching the two of you together but are not able to deal with each other.
Re: Breaking Point
when I questionned everything I did incase I made it difficult for the other..
So you too tried to find faults in your behaviour..thus finding justifications for the way the other person behaved...
Re: Breaking Point
muzna, such a pretty name you got. im curious. who is this advice for.. and whats the problem? im hoping (and praying) it isnt you who is contemplating these.
Re: Breaking Point
Not entirely....In cases where interest is lost...you may not reach "breaking point." As I mentioned earlier, the relationship is usually ended in the stage before breaking point. I think you reach ultimate breaking point when love or other interest is still attaching the two of you together but are not able to deal with each other.
Either the person becomes boring or you loose interest in them. Right?
I am not saying relationship to be boring because a boring relationship is the best, but when your partner does not find you attractive and is not interested in you, your life and dreams; that pretty much does it. This happens over period of time, not just one moment.
Re: Breaking Point
pathani sis,
sorry to hear the jerk's behaviour. you must know that you are the wiser individual. being a man, i can relate to the disassociation that we feel towards any relationship, one reason why we die early as well, as women seem to be outliving us. one reason could be their associative good nature of never giving up.
your query, i am studying medicine, a year left.
Hi confucius sis, too bad we dont live near by....I would had loved to have a chit chat in some cafe...kuch apni kahoo, kuch meri sunoo. Your reaction is normal as a before and after math of a crises. Just wanted to say, Im all ears if you need.... And a HUGEEEEEEEEEE hugs and for all the girls out there.....I so wish, I could protect ya....
Case-study: Whats your field of work? Your study method, was it PBL? Problem based learing. Im just curious...and thanks for your feedback, they are needed.
Re: Breaking Point
Either the person becomes boring or you loose interest in them. Right?
I am not saying relationship to be boring because a boring relationship is the best, but when your partner does not find you attractive and is not interested in you, your life and dreams; that pretty much does it. This happens over period of time, not just one moment.
Uhhh...no...
It seems pretty black n white to you, but its not. Its not always about people becoming boring or losing interest in them. Theres a whole world of shades of gray out there.
You are right it does not happen in a moment...but I was talking of the moment as being the point of realisation from experiences accumulated over a period of time. Not that you wake up one morning and say OK I've had it.
Re: Breaking Point
You are right it does not happen in a moment...but I was talking of the moment as being the point of realisation from experiences accumulated over a period of time. Not that you wake up one morning and say OK I've had it.
I agree too. Its a gradual process, its like reaching the saturation point, when you realise that you can take no more, and decide that its over...for good.
Anyway, this is life, such things are not hard to find, they are pretty common, and I guess they would never become rare either...sad...but true!:(
Re: Breaking Point
Uhhh...no...
It seems pretty black n white to you, but its not. Its not always about people becoming boring or losing interest in them. Theres a whole world of shades of gray out there.
You are right it does not happen in a moment...but I was talking of the moment as being the point of realisation from experiences accumulated over a period of time. Not that you wake up one morning and say OK I've had it.
...and what those be?
Re: Breaking Point
Hey Phat B..
Just saw your entry..
See you in Alldost..
Hi confucius sis, too bad we dont live near by....I would had loved to have a chit chat in some cafe...kuch apni kahoo, kuch meri sunoo. Your reaction is normal as a before and after math of a crises. Just wanted to say, Im all ears if you need.... And a HUGEEEEEEEEEE hugs and for all the girls out there.....I so wish, I could protect ya....
Case-study: Whats your field of work? Your study method, was it PBL? Problem based learing. Im just curious...and thanks for your feedback, they are needed.
Re: Breaking Point
Women deal with emotions as soon as .. they cry they scream but slowly they get over things.... men jam things in a closet .. and jam and jam then 6 months later the closet can't take the burden anymore and the floodgates open.. As horris as it is .. but the floodgates willopen one day and I pray that that person takes shelter under ALLAH ji's saya
Re: Breaking Point
dude, Allah ji never will have it easy on someone who made no personal effort to do the things the right way in the first time. your pity on that person is indicative of your own well wishing quality. on the contrary, women know that crying and weeping is not selfish, women who do not cry and weep have it quite the opposite. they do not relinquish their faith in their own ability.
Re: Breaking Point
Umm relationships? I guess that would include marriage.
Hmm... what comes to mind is the generation gap:
The women of today and yesterday. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Women of yesterday were patient, understanding and all the good characteristics of a wife. Women of today are generally feminist, liberal, impatient, don't understand the meaning of marriage and how to make it work. Women don't realize the implications or consequences of their actions in the long run. They forget that their entry to paradise is their husbands satisfaction.
Men of today have HIGH expectations and very little patience. They expect their women to have degrees, work, take care of the children and work the house. Pretty much wonderwoman which is impossible for any normal human being to do. Men of yesterday were far more practical and really conducted themselves in the way a man should where he is the leader while the wife is the maintainer of his house and his kids.
These days the concept of a nuclear family has been blown out of the water by all the single mothers or mothers to be running rampant sucking the system. Look at society where it is today, why marriages are falling apart, why are there so many breaking points and very little patience and a lot of bull about setting thresholds. Each time you put yourself a limit, it gets extended. We've all been there for those of us who have been in relationships. Marriage is HARD work but soooo worth it. I'm sure when you go through a weekend in a marriage it feels like you've been working all week at times eh? Ideally, we should strive towards the sabr of Ayub. Ofcourse, not all of us are built to take sh*t, oops yet we do :-D. God puts us in these situations because He knows us better than we do ourselves. Lets face it, all of us miss some part of our past single lives where it was much easier to deal with and have no one to answer to, no *****fest to deal with and no battles.
Some of you may not like what I say here but hey its the truth.
Lets take a page from the book of our parents, grandparents moreover the life of Khadija and Mohammad (pbuh) and see how it is truely done rather than end it all at a breaking point of talaaq. Its said that Talaaq is the worse of halaal and when a marriage is broken, a shaytaan that was assigned to break your marriage is crowned. Examine the life of Muhammad, how he had a catty wife Hafsa who was "hazir jawab" and also the daughter of one of the companions. The Prophet was tempted to give her talaaq but he didn't due to a revelation through Jibril. Look at how he lived, how Umar lived, these men were greater than all of the men of time. They took the crap of their perfectly imperfect wives like a whip but put them in their place very strategically.
The first talaaq to my knowledge that took place in the history of Islam was between Zayd and Zaynab. Zaynab was from the tribe of Quraiysh (Prophet's family) while Zayd was an adopted son by the Prophet who happened to be black. This marriage did not succeed because the two were not attracted to one another and could not connect at any level. When two people cannot make it work by any means and have exhausted ALL options. Thats when talaaq ar rahma takes place. The divorce of kindness where two people come to a mutual understanding and nothing is messy.
The society of today does not believe in a cohesive relationship where both partners compliment one another than compete. The definition of a woman has changed as the definition of a man according to the mutated customs and traditions of today (signs of judgement day). Independence is glorified while "convenience relationships with no strings attached" are a fad. There are many who have achieved the worldly degrees and have become experts in their respective field but when it comes to family life have lost it all for the sake of a few moments of independance. The greater good is lost in translation. Marriage is half your religion. They say that for a reason, its a test of faith. Marriage is a business transaction and a diplomatic mission. Marriage is a compromise, marriage is a test of you, your mind, body and soul.
Sometimes 1 relationship at a time does not cut it, consider polygamy . . . its practical and very much in our faith. Those who condemn it for jealousy, wake up and smell the aloo gosht!! Its so practical for all the men and wives are on their toes in sisterhood trying to match each other up... oh the drama haha. Alright, this should do it for now. I rambled a lot. cheers . . . .
Re: Breaking Point
why is everyone telling me nowdays NOT TO get married! ...they tell me.. "yaar single reh aur life ko enjoy kar" lol wtf?
Re: Breaking Point
^^^^ tell me about it. Not only that but also to marry girl who is not working so someone is there to look out for you 24/7. I disagree though. You should marry a girl who you think is right for you regardless of her occupation or anything and as for the friends telling you not to get married and enjoy single life, they have no class really. You can enjoy isngle life for soo long but at then end you will hunger for a family/wife/kids and that is part of life. dONT Listen to your friends, do what suits u better b/c you r going to be spendin your life not your friends.
I had this firned who said the same thing to one of my fren and guess he ended up getting married and other dude didnt .. i mean wtf !losers!
Re: Breaking Point
Umm relationships? I guess that would include marriage.
Hmm... what comes to mind is the generation gap:
The women of today and yesterday. BIG DIFFERENCE. Women of yesterday were patient, understanding and all the good characteristics of a wife. Women of today are generally feminist, liberal, impatient, don't understand the meaning of marriage and how to make it work. Women don't realize the implications or consequences of their actions in the long run. They forget that their entry to paradise is their husbands satisfaction.
Men of today have HIGH expectations and very little patience. They expect their women to have degrees, work, take care of the children and work the house. Pretty much wonderwoman which is impossible for any normal human being to do. Men of yesterday were far more practical and really conducted themselves in the way a man should where he is the leader while the wife is the maintainer of his house and his kids.
These days the concept of a nuclear family has been blown out of the water by all the single mothers or mothers to be running rampant sucking the system. Look at society where it is today, why marriages are falling apart, why are there so many breaking points and very little patience and a lot of bull about setting thresholds. Each time you put yourself a limit, it gets extended. We've all been there for those of us who have been in relationships. Marriage is HARD work but soooo worth it. I'm sure when you go through a weekend in a marriage it feels like you've been working all week at times eh? Ideally, we should strive towards the sabr of Ayub. Ofcourse, not all of us are built to take sh*t, oops yet we do :-D. God puts us in these situations because He knows us better than we do ourselves. Lets face it, all of us miss some part of our past single lives where it was much easier to deal with and have no one to answer to, no *****fest to deal with and no battles.
Some of you may not like what I say here but hey its the truth.
Lets take a page from the book of our parents, grandparents moreover the life of Khadija and Mohammad (pbuh) and see how it is truely done rather than end it all at a breaking point of talaaq. Its said that Talaaq is the worse of halaal and when a marriage is broken, a shaytaan that was assigned to break your marriage is crowned. Examine the life of Muhammad, how he had a catty wife Hafsa who was "hazir jawab" and also the daughter of one of the companions. The Prophet was tempted to give her talaaq but he didn't due to a revelation through Jibril. Look at how he lived, how Umar lived, these men were greater than all of the men of time. They took the crap of their perfectly imperfect wives like a whip but put them in their place very strategically.
The first talaaq to my knowledge that took place in the history of Islam was between Zayd and Zaynab. Zaynab was from the tribe of Quraiysh (Prophet's family) while Zayd was an adopted son by the Prophet who happened to be black. This marriage did not succeed because the two were not attracted to one another and could not connect at any level. When two people cannot make it work by any means and have exhausted ALL options. Thats when talaaq ar rahma takes place. The divorce of kindness where two people come to a mutual understanding and nothing is messy.
The society of today does not believe in a cohesive relationship where both partners compliment one another than compete. The definition of a woman has changed as the definition of a man according to the mutated customs and traditions of today (signs of judgement day). Independence is glorified while "convenience relationships with no strings attached" are a fad. There are many who have achieved the worldly degrees and have become experts in their respective field but when it comes to family life have lost it all for the sake of a few moments of independance. The greater good is lost in translation. Marriage is half your religion. They say that for a reason, its a test of faith. Marriage is a business transaction and a diplomatic mission. Marriage is a compromise, marriage is a test of you, your mind, body and soul.
Sometimes 1 relationship at a time does not cut it, consider polygamy . . . its practical and very much in our faith. Those who condemn it for jealousy, wake up and smell the aloo gosht!! Its so practical for all the men and wives are on their toes in sisterhood trying to match each other up... oh the drama haha. Alright, this should do it for now. I rambled a lot. cheers . . . .
each n everyword .. well put!! props to u dude/dudette! thumbs up
Re: Breaking Point
it will always take two to make the love--> marriage -->commitment to work, man.
Re: Breaking Point
Some Good replies..
Most Important this i s TRUST and Committment..
You should be able to trust your partner 100% and you should commit to each other through thick and thin..
Re: Breaking Point
*Poof