Re: Breaking News…Gen Ashfaq Kiani appointed new COAS
Dear District Nazim hopeful,
Your letter has been received and analysed with the greatest of interest, as you know General Kiani is a thorough professional as such does not entertain politicians, however you are welcome to attend this Iftar party.
However after carefully looking through your file we have found no evidence of corruption or lotaism as such we suggest you come back when you obtain the appropriate experience (I also advise that you attend the Ahmad Raza Kasuri course on public speaking and Wasi Zafar workshop on appropriate slapping).
With reference to the planned referendum and the district elections, in case of the former I wish to reassure you while your support is appreciated your vote has already been cast on your behalf. In case of latter, the elections are not planned for another two years so once you have obtained the appropriate experience we will be willing to consider you for a safe seat like Dera Bugti. In light of the governments $15 dollars of forex reserves the locals should elect you without any problem.
Kind regards,
PoP
c/o
Richard Boucher
Department of State USA