Say you got engaged and after that you started having second thoughts or getting cold feet, is it morally or ethically right to break the engagement?
Re: Breaking an engagement
Gosh, I don’t really know. In a sense it would be right to break it off if you weren’t 100% sure…rather than to go ahead with it and have problems later on but then again, can you be 100% sure about anything?
On the other hand.. I think it would be kind of wrong because you should think all that stuff through before you actually agree to it. And it isn’t fair on the other person if you’re gonna just turn around and break it off 
Re: Breaking an engagement
Oh so now we know why you have been MIA, Arshad.
Re: Breaking an engagement
Whats MIA? This is just a hypothetical situation.
Re: Breaking an engagement
missing in action.
Re: Breaking an engagement
lol...well I am going to missing a few times over the next year.
Re: Breaking an engagement
yes; i would say break it if your not happy. no point in ruining two lives and subsequent childrens' lives if your not happy with your spouse-to-be.
Re: Breaking an engagement
what is the real reason of breaking it off...is it cold feet(just nervousness) or more then that?
Re: Breaking an engagement
The thing is, marriage is a risk no matter what angle you look at it from. You can try and calculate that risk but its just a try and in the end just as much of a gamble as an arranged marriage would be.
People get cold feet all the time, its a reality. However, it is just that...cold feet and nothing more.
I would make a list of pros and cons and take it from there.
Re: Breaking an engagement
it depends upon the situation and reasons why any one wanna break up the engagement. i wonder why ppl get engaged when they're not pretty sure abt their partner to be, wether they can get by or not.
I personally feel it brings pain for both
Breaking up is'nt a gud idea.......... unless their is a strong reason behind
Re: Breaking an engagement
i think its not ethically right to break up with someone.......every relationship needs some time to grow fully mature....
Re: Breaking an engagement
*In our families, once you gave "ZABAAN" then you've to stick to it no matter how worse is the situation! *
You have been asked once, later whats the point of playing with other's life! Just because of the cold response or nervousness? Com'on.. who guarantees you you wouldnt face it the next time... Get out of bollywood films
lots of things in this world happen which are unethical. tho phir yeh kya cheez heh.
waise if someone starts to feel this way in the engagment period only is this not strange. engagment period is supposed to be happy and dreamy. problems start after the wedding not before. if htey start before i think maybe those problems might be abnormal adn signalling that you might be heading for danger. better to save yourself now.
and it certainly bery well may be pâinful to othe other party but it is your life and you have a right to look after your own interests.
Re: Breaking an engagement
Its better to break off an engagement than enter into a messy marriage.
Re: Breaking an engagement
its ofcourse nt fair to the other person but it wud be better to do this now than later when u end up married n have kids....that wud be worse much worse. But do make sure that you are sure abt what you want and are not just nervous about the whole situation and tryin to get away.
Again taht depends... If the other wants to continue the relation or not?
Just a COLD RESPONSE doesnt mean you should break it!
Re: Breaking an engagement
long engagements almost always end up broken. thats my personal experience and observation.
One I was engaged to a girl by my and his parents, after engagement i try to build a communication contact with her... always got cold response, no reply to email, chat, or phone. i know there is no restriction as such in her family, and somehow i didnt feel she was interested much as she should be to her future hubby. but left for a year situation in that condition with no contact or for any try for it.
eventually broken this non sence, i got the know the reasons a few months later... when she moved to canada and got her choice married from Pak soon after, without much permission from her family :)
so cold response is not always just patch of lows in a stable relationship. while its always easy to break a relationship, if you think you cant build into positive, come out of it.
Re: Breaking an engagement
Just because you are getting cold feet or second thoughts doesnt sound a very good reason to me. But if you are absolutely sure things wont work out, then like someone said, a broken engagement is better than a messy marriage. But please dont decide to walk out a few days before the wedding.
You know i would say follow your gut feeling. Also do istikhara to be sure. A friend of mine had a cold fiancée she still went ahead and did nikah. The guy would always seem distant, then we all found out he had married someone else. So i think breaking it is better than being miserable latter in life.
what does ishtikar mean?