Re: boys views requested please
If the guy is smart, I am sure he will figure out that she was sexually active in the past unless she is a great actress. I just hope for the guy's sake that she not carrying any STDs
Re: boys views requested please
Just using it as an example, you Muslim Halle Berry you…
This subject is the perfect time to practice “don’t ask, don’t tell”.
Everyone has secrets, are you going to disclose every dark secret to your future spouse and her family? Probably not. A marriage is not a corporate agreement, and no rule book exists requiring full disclosure. If it were that straightforward, it would be easy, and marriage is not that easy. The first thing they teach new lawyers is the cardinal rule, “Do not ask questions you do not want to know the answers to”. That way you can each maintain the fantasies about each other that help you cope.
A woman could have been molested, divorced, widowed, raped, or abused, none of which may have been her fault. It is far better to look into someones heart instead of their past. Learn to respect the soul of the person, not their circumstances. It is a far more rewarding experience.
Re: boys views requested please
I'm all warm and fuzzy now OG.
Re: boys views requested please
That's a huge secret, although I do know someone who HAS gotten away with it quite successfully so far. I don't think her husband will be finding out anytime soon.
The whole "past is the past" seems a lot easier for girls to accept, meaning girls tend to be more forgiving when it comes to men and their sexual past. Unfortunately/fortunately (whichever way you look at it), men are not so forgiving.
Re: boys views requested please
the main issue is not the sexually active
its spending years of her life emotionally attached to someone or two or three and then denying or rather not informing her spouse
it happens in cases of traditional arranged marriages where you go back to paks and marry your cousin to whom you were engaged when you were a child
but apparantly Ive heard this from more than one person that its ok to not mention it
AND
they'll provide you with a list of the names of their friends who have done it...but these are the peopel in the above catagory (cousin etc type marriage)
teh girl is pretty and personable and will meet potential spouse's wearing salwar kameez
tehy come from a conservative family, it will not be immediately apparant that theyve had colourful past
Re: boys views requested please
Marriage is a special thing, sort of like having a kid. I feel strongly about it, judgeing other people is a Fools Business.
So what about you dude? Why don't you finally convert to Islam and find a mail order Pakistani bride so you can stop hanging around here?
Kidding.
Well, maybe not....
Re: boys views requested please
OG, marriage *is *a corportrate agreement. We’re desis, you know. It’s like a long-term business investment. That’s exactly the reason LD was talking about withholding information. I, for one, believe in sole proprietorship. However, you make sense about ‘no rule book requiring full disclosure’. 
We should respect the soul of the person only if s/he has any. Otherwise it’s like respecting something that doesn’t exist.
Re: boys views requested please
I seriously hope no one judges me on the basis of what I did or said when I was 16, not that I did things that I am ashamed of but because I was a very different person back then. The emphasis shouldn’t be the past in any proposal, instead we all should look at the future. Do a couple think ahead and see themselves enjoying each others company or not .. honestly answering such questions bring about great couples.
Re: boys views requested please
LD, people withhold all sorts of information that has nothing to do with a sexual past (i.e. having a major loans, which is a new "hot" thing to be hiding these days). Where do you draw the line? It all comes down to what is important to the individual in question I guess.
Re: boys views requested please
^^ Sorry, it is a partnership. My wife grew up in Foster homes. She had a tough life, going from home to home from age 8, changing homes every 18 months. We were not married until she was in her mid-30s, she had real problems trusing relationships. It was a lot of work, but worth the effort.
Ultimately you have to believe a few things. First, there are no guarantees. A virginal bride can wander later in life. People also change and mature. Second, I smell a bit of Hipocrisy here, as no one has mentioned the need for men to be pure as the driven snow, just the bride. Lastly, there are the subject of redemption, forgiveness, and faith. All of which are important in a relationship.
Re: boys views requested please
So what about you dude? Why don't you finally convert to Islam and find a mail order Pakistani bride so you can stop hanging around here?
Kidding.
Well, maybe not....
If it doesn't work out can I just return it or make an exchange?
Re: boys views requested please
silly billy
No exchange or refund
you can go back and get another one though.....upto 4
Re: boys views requested please
Don’t know how accurate the website is but here’s a fatwa.
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=2021&dgn=4
Re: boys views requested please
I would go to one of the Arab states where you are allowed to have multiple wives, imagine the nagging of four women. 
Re: boys views requested please
OG, I agree. Marriage should not be a corporate contract. There're all sorts of people. Not all of them are soulless. To me, most people are. I'm sorry to say that. And, I never said that I judge men and women against different yardsticks of purity. Having had a partner prior to marriage does not necessarily make a person 'impure'. And yes, there're subjects of forgiveness, redemption and faith that we haven't discussed yet.
Re: boys views requested please
Og....can you have more than one Utah?
Re: boys views requested please
How daring they are 
Re: boys views requested please
Geez, that Fatwa is pretty much what I was saying, perhaps I would make a good Mullah!
Re: boys views requested please
thanks Pop