Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
buhat ziada.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
I was about to suggest urdu-speaking families in India, but then realized Indians are out of the running.
why only urdu speaking families of India?? why not gujarati, kachi memoni, punjabi speaking families of India too?
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
If religion means something to someone, they will tend to marry within their own religion. Exceptions exist, but that's the reality around us.
Because muslim guys are increasingly disconnected from their religion and faith - common to see guys being raised without being taught Urdu, and with different rules like different curfews, able to hang out with "friends" etc, they're dating. Believe it or not, most desi guys out there are dating. And while our girls are sitting at home being overprotected, those boys are dating, and eventually, many of them marry those girls.
And then we wonder why a rishta aunty has 20 girls to 1 guy in her portfolio.
why do you have issues with muslim guys dating to either muslim girls or non-muslim girls?
to your question of why rishta aunties have a ratio of 20:1, there are few logical reasons to it:
it is not traditionally accepted for girls families to start a rishta process themselves if they spot some good guy. whereas it is a norm for guys families to initiate a rishta process if they like some girl. so in an arrange marriage route, perhaps a guy's parents or guy himself sees some girl in a function, neighborhood, family etc. they can simply go to the girl's family and talk about rishta. whereas if a girls familiy like someone they can't make the first move and have to wait for guy family to approach which they might or might not.
since the guys families can approach the girls families themselves, lot of them don't really need to register with match makers.Some parents don't trust the rishta aunties and prefer to keep on waiting for some rishta to come by itself without registering with match makers, and if this process takes long and girls enters in her late 20's and early 30's and then the parents seek the help of match makers, the match makers often do not have the right match because the way our society is, most people want girls in their early 20's rather than 30's.
most guys the eligible ones and those who fits the general criteria of good family, education, career, tend to get engaged by the time they are 25, 26 years of age. and often they select girls who are 4-5 years younger than them. so if you are well into your 30's, the guys your age group and those who fits your criteria are already taken.
Either the guy chose the girl himself or the families find girls within families and within their social circles, so the ratio of guys family going to rishta aunties is lower than girls families going to them.
the families going to rishta aunties for the guy rishtas are often the ones who couldn't first find anyone within their own circles because of their too picky nature. so the rishta aunties don't share the profiles of such guys with the girls families who are average by the guys standards/requirement.
all of these reasons contribute to the lesser number of guys with rishta aunties.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
So, I guess it's just me that doesn't think PCG is entirely wrong. Too much political correctness here sometimes. Sometimes I think we should stop that.
If the wife converts to Islam and genuinely wants to follow the religion, great! If she doesn't convert and if she has no interest in Islam/religion and the guy knows that despite their compatibility in terms of personality, her lifestyle is not the same as his and not one that he wants his future kids to follow.....then he knows he's taking a risk. Although it's permissible to marry a Christian woman (for example), even if she's a practicing one.....he must know that her core beliefs (trinity) come into conflict with Islam's belief in only one God. He has to factor in all these risks/potential consequences if religion is his first priority. He may still care about his religion.....but I don't think it's unreasonable to question if religion is taking a backseat to his feelings for the woman. So, PCG has not said an abominable thing. Yes, we ALL know of exceptions of Muslim parents with messed up kids and non-Muslim parents whose kids find Islam. That's fine. But when a person has to make a life-decision, they have to see if they want to follow a route that maximizes their chances or take the path that may be more challenging and hope to become one of the positive exceptions. What PCG has said is not such an incredulous thing. It's a reasonable question to ponder upon. **Seriously. Yes, seriously, Aaze. What you see as a gross and perhaps repugnant generalization.......I see it as a serious matter to reflect over.**
Actually let's put the issue of marriage aside. Nobody likes to be accused of not caring about their religion. But there have been many times where many of us have skipped a prayer or few to watch a movie or hang out with friends or catch some more zzzz's, etc etc. Did the namaz not take a backseat to the worldly pleasures? It sure did. You may care about religion on the whole and believe in it with all your heart, but at that moment Allah's command and a fard obligation wasn't your top-most priority...it took a backseat to something else. So, why not be honest and apply the same principle to marriage.....which may be a bigger deal than salah....because it will impact your aanay waali nasal. ** Sometimes it's like rather than take the time out to ponder over a person's angle....us k galay par jaatay hai ...even in Ramzan. Wow.**
Please RV save the long lecture and do ponder on what PCG said a little more. It doesn't matter how you twist it around, we all know what PCG said. She didn't represent "pondering" on an angle or questioning a matter for that fact. She represented gross generalizations and she continue to see them as facts. That's where the problem lies.
To be quite frank, I don't even understand why PCG should be pondering on who desi guys marries or how religious they are, what does that have to do with anything at all? Who is forcing PCG to even consider these nalaiq non religious guys anyway? From what I know PCG herself is not exactly dhoodh ki dhuli huye but let's not go there.
Please stop playing the victim card already, even in Ramzaan. Nobody cares who you think is gale parho'ing who. :)
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
why do you have issues with muslim guys dating to either muslim girls or non-muslim girls? to your question of why rishta aunties have a ratio of 20:1, there are few logical reasons to it:
it is not traditionally accepted for girls families to start a rishta process themselves if they spot some good guy. whereas it is a norm for guys families to initiate a rishta process if they like some girl. so in an arrange marriage route, perhaps a guy's parents or guy himself sees some girl in a function, neighborhood, family etc. they can simply go to the girl's family and talk about rishta. whereas if a girls familiy like someone they can't make the first move and have to wait for guy family to approach which they might or might not. since the guys families can approach the girls families themselves, lot of them don't really need to register with match makers.
Some parents don't trust the rishta aunties and prefer to keep on waiting for some rishta to come by itself without registering with match makers, and if this process takes long and girls enters in her late 20's and early 30's and then the parents seek the help of match makers, the match makers often do not have the right match because the way our society is, most people want girls in their early 20's rather than 30's.
most guys the eligible ones and those who fits the general criteria of good family, education, career, tend to get engaged by the time they are 25, 26 years of age. and often they select girls who are 4-5 years younger than them. so if you are well into your 30's, the guys your age group and those who fits your criteria are already taken.
Either the guy chose the girl himself or the families find girls within families and within their social circles, so the ratio of guys family going to rishta aunties is lower than girls families going to them.
the families going to rishta aunties for the guy rishtas are often the ones who couldn't first find anyone within their own circles because of their too picky nature. so the rishta aunties don't share the profiles of such guys with the girls families who are average by the guys standards/requirement.
all of these reasons contribute to the lesser number of guys with rishta aunties.
Good points. I'll also add that the 20:1 ratio across the board for matchmakers/websites seems like an exaggeration. A friend of my wife was in that business and from what I've heard of it, those numbers are way off. Also, from what I've seen the number of desi guys marrying non-desi/non-Muslim girls is neglible and would have minimal impact on the overall pool. In fact I'd say that I know of about as many girls who've done the same thing.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
Something I have noticed in our community, the desi girls are fine chatting with non desi guys, but the moment a desi guy comes across, they have this odd gesture, a very non welcoming face, they just act odd...not sure why!
Maybe they're scared of being judged? Or labelled a ****..
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
If a segment of educated Pakistani guys end up marrying non Pakistani girls and another large segment (and their moms) end up importing wives from Pak then there is a smaller pool of eligible bachelors left. Im not sure why we cant acknowledge this problem.
If we dont acknowledge it this can get worst if not fixed. Practice of Importing wives should be halted and discouraged. Makes zero sense separating a girl from her parents and siblings, anyway. Also Im afraid those involved in this practice dont have good intensions. So lets treat those families involved in this practice like the indian brahmins treat their shudra.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
i wonder when desi men and women will start looking for their own rishtas. why wait for parents or someone else to find one for them.
find one, introduce him/her to your parents. let them know you are serious about this rishta...let them decide if they wanna be invited to the wedding. if they do, it's great; if they don't, it's their loss. :)
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
:biggthumb:
ye tu parhi likhi girls ka haal hai
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
let them decide if they wanna be invited to the wedding. if they do, it's great; if they don't, it's their loss. :)
Wht a gem of a post.
No wonder u are still looking if this is the kind of things u propose to girls :/ no offence dude but what BS.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
Wht a gem of a post.
No wonder u are still looking if this is the kind of things u propose to girls :/ no offence dude but what BS.
this nusKha was for people who are modern otherwise. i ain't modern by any means. :)
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
Sweetmoi, if all else fails what is there left to do? If parents are saying 'you must marry a Pakistani' but there aren't any around should a girl just sit around waiting forever?
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
So, I guess it's just me that doesn't think PCG is entirely wrong. Too much political correctness here sometimes. Sometimes I think we should stop that.
If the wife converts to Islam and genuinely wants to follow the religion, great! If she doesn't convert and if she has no interest in Islam/religion and the guy knows that despite their compatibility in terms of personality, her lifestyle is not the same as his and not one that he wants his future kids to follow.....then he knows he's taking a risk. Although it's permissible to marry a Christian woman (for example), even if she's a practicing one.....he must know that her core beliefs (trinity) come into conflict with Islam's belief in only one God. He has to factor in all these risks/potential consequences if religion is his first priority. He may still care about his religion.....but I don't think it's unreasonable to question if religion is taking a backseat to his feelings for the woman. So, PCG has not said an abominable thing. Yes, we ALL know of exceptions of Muslim parents with messed up kids and non-Muslim parents whose kids find Islam. That's fine. But when a person has to make a life-decision, they have to see if they want to follow a route that maximizes their chances or take the path that may be more challenging and hope to become one of the positive exceptions. What PCG has said is not such an incredulous thing. It's a reasonable question to ponder upon. Seriously. Yes, seriously, Aaze. What you see as a gross and perhaps repugnant generalization.......I see it as a serious matter to reflect over.
Actually let's put the issue of marriage aside. Nobody likes to be accused of not caring about their religion. But there have been many times where many of us have skipped a prayer or few to watch a movie or hang out with friends or catch some more zzzz's, etc etc. Did the namaz not take a backseat to the worldly pleasures? It sure did. You may care about religion on the whole and believe in it with all your heart, but at that moment Allah's command and a fard obligation wasn't your top-most priority...it took a backseat to something else. So, why not be honest and apply the same principle to marriage.....which may be a bigger deal than salah....because it will impact your aanay waali nasal.
Sometimes it's like rather than take the time out to ponder over a person's angle....us k galay par jaatay hai ...even in Ramzan. Wow.
Actually redvelvet, i read over this thread last night and thought to reply when i had more time but no, you aren't the only one who can see where PCG is coming from. And i agree with you, what PCG said may be a whole generalisation but it is not completely unbelievable. It does help to be able to see other POVs before jumping down someones throat.
Yes, PCG you dont exactly make things easy for yourself :p but your point is valid.
And maula, seriously cut it out. Your attitude stinks, whether its with this nick or your previous one. If you cant continue to respond to people in a civil manner, i suggest you stop responding to them.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
haha..but 20% of the profiles are guys’… wonder who those Einstiens are
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
why only urdu speaking families of India?? why not gujarati, kachi memoni, punjabi speaking families of India too?
why not indeed.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
Please RV save the long lecture and do ponder on what PCG said a little more. It doesn't matter how you twist it around, we all know what PCG said. She didn't represent "pondering" on an angle or questioning a matter for that fact. She represented gross generalizations and she continue to see them as facts. That's where the problem lies.
To be quite frank, I don't even understand why PCG should be pondering on who desi guys marries or how religious they are, what does that have to do with anything at all? Who is forcing PCG to even consider these nalaiq non religious guys anyway? From what I know PCG herself is not exactly dhoodh ki dhuli huye but let's not go there.
Please stop playing the victim card already, even in Ramzaan. Nobody cares who you think is gale parho'ing who. :)
Excuse me, not doodh ki Duli hui ?
What does that mean
I have no clue who you are, never met you, and you dare to throw ilzaam on people?
I have politely tried to redirect you without insults to have a general discussion of a phenomenon in our society. That's actually one of the purposes of this forum. I'm behaving myself. Are you?
Have some shame picking up your finger against someone with a clean record that too in Ramadan.
This time I expect an apology.
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
Is there any emoticon for catfight?? 
Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt
There is no need to get so hyper PCG, even if you don’t know people. People know you that’s the charm of PCG I guess.
Before your mind goes in, I don’t know which directions let me clarify
Dhoodh ki dhuli = Not as religious that you should be pointing fingers at guys for marrying out of faith.
I don’t think maine koi besharmo wali baat ki hai and it would be amazing if you all came down from your high horse of holiness 
Only happens in fairytales.