his mum already knows about me :)
My bfs mum knew about me too. Infact his whole family did. His dad had suspicions about me too. But no one was botherd about how i felt about making everything official. For jus my peace of mind. Selfish people...
Thank you 
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
^ has ur dad said anything about calling them back? because one of my male friends got engaged recently and i asked him about how he went thru the whole process with his family and he told me that he got his mum to make the initial call and then they waited for her parents to call and then take the next step from there. why doesnt ur dad just call them? or does he think boys side should call him again? not really sure how this works to be honest lol
lol im imagining smelly socks and clothes all over the floor.... eewww
LOL...nooooo. What I mean by that is not trivial things like that. I mean his habits, how he acts around his parents, home, relatives, how much influence he has over his parents and vice versa, how he acts under pressure in his home, etc etc etc.
Its not something anyone can prepare you for...its just the way marriage works...hard to explain.
I believed much the same things you did at one point.
Im not trying to burst anyone's bubble here, just trying to help you girls from making mistakes others wish they had been warned about.
Never assume you know everything about your partner before marriage, you dont.
^ has ur dad said anything about calling them back? because one of my male friends got engaged recently and i asked him about how he went thru the whole process with his family and he told me that he got his mum to make the initial call and then they waited for her parents to call and then take the next step from there. why doesnt ur dad just call them? or does he think boys side should call him again? not really sure how this works to be honest lol
I hav no idea why my dad wont ring them back. Ummm i have also told the bf why dont u get ur mum to ring up, but he said that she said that she wont do it till the dads speak. Its so stupid were jus going round in circles, I know many people that the mums started off the whole rishta.
False promises! Oh even MY mum has even said she would ring up and speak to his mum if i really wanted to get with this guy. i told the bf this and he said 'my mum wont talk unless the dads have'
pathetic!
LOL...nooooo. What I mean by that is not trivial things like that. I mean his habits, how he acts around his parents, home, relatives, how much influence he has over his parents and vice versa, how he acts under pressure in his home, etc etc etc.
Its not something anyone can prepare you for...its just the way marriage works...hard to explain.
I believed much the same things you did at one point.
Im not trying to burst anyone's bubble here, just trying to help you girls from making mistakes others wish they had been warned about.
Never assume you know everything about your partner before marriage, you dont.
yeah i agree with u in that sense... of course i will never know how he is around his family etc until i actually start living with them all. as far as im aware from speaking to his brothers, he has a lot of influence over his siblings and his parents to an extent since he is the eldest and most 'laadla'.
I hav no idea why my dad wont ring them back. Ummm i have also told the bf why dont u get ur mum to ring up, but he said that she said that she wont do it till the dads speak. Its so stupid were jus going round in circles, I know many people that the mums started off the whole rishta. False promises! Oh even MY mum has even said she would ring up and speak to his mum if i really wanted to get with this guy. i told the bf this and he said 'my mum wont talk unless the dads have'
pathetic!
that actually really is frustrating since u r literally just going round in circles, everyone is waiting for someone else to make a move. maybe his dad doesn't wanna ring again until someone calls him because he's already made the first move so to speak and by calling again without recieving a call from ur side he might feel that he's acting 'desperate' to get in there with the rishta maybe thats why he's reluctant to do anything until ur dad does.... that doesn't explain y his mum wont talk though :s its usually the mums that hit it off first with the rishta's that ive seen happen through my friends
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
In any case it is not right on Bf father to sitting on high horse and demanding other side call first.
In our cultural at least for rishta. It is boy sides responsibility to at least show some intrest / respect for girl by keeping following up the matter.
No girl's parent like to go to this extent and vertually begging the rishta.
that actually really is frustrating since u r literally just going round in circles, everyone is waiting for someone else to make a move. maybe his dad doesn't wanna ring again until someone calls him because he's already made the first move so to speak and by calling again without recieving a call from ur side he might feel that he's acting 'desperate' to get in there with the rishta maybe thats why he's reluctant to do anything until ur dad does.... that doesn't explain y his mum wont talk though :s its usually the mums that hit it off first with the rishta's that ive seen happen through my friends
Well then they cant have me simple. Its the guys side that shud do it. With my last rishta they would NOT stop ringing my dad. It doesnt seem 'desperate' it means they want the daughter so much tht they wanna make it official. But oh well their loss...
In any case it is not right on Bf father to sitting on high horse and demanding other side call first.
In our cultural at least for rishta. It is boy sides responsibility to at least show some intrest / respect for girl by keeping following up the matter.
No girl's parent like to go to this extent and vertually begging the rishta.
Your absoloutly right.
Well then they cant have me simple. Its the guys side that shud do it. With my last rishta they would NOT stop ringing my dad. It doesnt seem 'desperate' it means they want the daughter so much tht they wanna make it official. But oh well their loss...
yh u said it girl, plenty more fish in the sea lol. if it doesnt work out and he truly loves u he will only realise it when its too late
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
Mixed beauty this is why you shouldn't have a bf. Why let someone use you and then throw you away? To be honest I dont think he has any intentions of marrying you. I may be wrong.
Mixed beauty this is why you shouldn't have a bf. Why let someone use you and then throw you away? To be honest I dont think he has any intentions of marrying you. I may be wrong.
Yeah but you cant help who you fall in love with. Its life it happens.
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
Now you need to stop talking to this guy and move on:)
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
hmmm well we havnt spoken for a few days now... But moving on is easier said then done. But when i DO move on i jus dont wanna look back in regret..Like i should of been more patient? Do you get what i mean?
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
nahin no needs for regret. at ur age u can get many good proposals.
GS ki marriage counsellor ko call lagao
hmmm well we havnt spoken for a few days now... But moving on is easier said then done. But when i DO move on i jus dont wanna look back in regret..Like i should of been more patient? Do you get what i mean?
Did you just stop talking to him cold turkey or you explained your feelings and why you're distancing yourself?
thanks for getting back to me. i certainly see where ur coming from and agree with some of ur points but i don't think it applies to every relationship especially the part where you said '*You want him to respect you and marry you? Dont date him'. *some of my friends have the same mentality and even i used to think that but now im like if i didn't date my bf how would i know i want to marry him? lol kwim? that doesnt mean he doesnt respect me. i've been dating him for 2 yrs and i know him inside out... i know what makes him tick, his likes/dislikes etc and i know for sure that we are 100% compatiable and he is someone i can spend my life with. for me i wouldn't have known all this if i didnt date him and spend as much time as i do with him. his mum holds traditional views and even she knows that he has someone in his life and she accepts that and has no problem with it because these days a lot of the older generation (where i live) have come to realise and understand that this is how their off spring will find a life partner.
When I got to Psquareds comment about the whole bf/gf/ kills chances in the future for marriage I was about to question that as well until I got to your posts! haha. I live in the US and I know that this is a huge country. But from what I am seeing, most of our generation is getting married in this manner. Parents (even the more traditional/conservative ones) have come to accept and understand that this is how today's generation is finding their future spouse. It is so hard to find someone legit that most aunties I know are actually hoping that their child "finds someone" .... like what is that supposed to mean except the obvious?
And true, you may never truly know someone until you marry them. I agree completely. But you also have to take into account that strong bonds and emotional links are also created during this girlfriend/boyfriend period. I totally believe that if you meet someone who is serious about you and committed - they will not want to let go of that. But obviously as mixedbeauty's post has brought up, there are some red flags that should go off that should give some indication that the level of commitment is not there (for whatever reason).
But yea- basically I totally do not think that getting a bf kills the chances for marriage. Everyone I know around me is getting married in this manner. Arranged marriages are hard to come by. But again - it could just be the area where I am living.
Ofcourse one should be very considerate of what kind of guy/girl you are getting involved with. The more "your type" is similar to your "parents type" .... the easier things will work out in the future for everyone :)
hmmm well we havnt spoken for a few days now... But moving on is easier said then done. But when i DO move on i jus dont wanna look back in regret..Like i should of been more patient? Do you get what i mean?
As many posters (including me!) have already said - You will be FINE and enjoy life girl. Stop stressing. Moving on is definitely a lot harder than said. You might have some closure to this whole saga if you let him know your thoughts and the reasons why you are going to move on though. Let him know that you will only be serious about this if HE is - and that is only by his parents taking this rishta seriously. You are a paki girl and its a respect issue. You are young, but you guys also do not have to get married right away. If his reaction is the same of what he has already told you in the past - then you should not have regret. You WILL SAD ...but atleast you know that you are doing what you are doing for the right reasons.
And as another person has said: sometimes one doesn't realize what they had until its gone.
Let him go - and dont look back (after you let him know you are doing this and are serious about this). You never know - he might pick up his game and have his dad call you dad. It is the boy's side that contacts the girl. You have done more than enough. If you never hear from him again - it was not meant to be... and DO NOT worry about that. It means you are yet to meet your prince charming :) If he does come back in a serious way (aka his dad ringing your family up) ....then you will have your answers that he is serious about you and this relationship. :)