Ok so i’ve been with my bf for over a year now. And were pretty serious. (well i’ve been serious since i met him) I wanted to marry him frm day 1 and he wanted the same. But oh how things hav changed…
First off i asked him to get his parents to get intouch, It took him a YEAR to do this. So his dad has rang once. And my dad hasnt botherd to get back to them. B4 this i wanted him to get intouch like 3-4 months after we had been together. But it never happend he wud say like ‘oh we’ve only been together for a little while, theres no point atm’
(Even tho my family and his are family friends so we kno the family well)
So now i’m like get intouch again, jus to show that ur interested (RIGHT??) And hes like no my dads rang once let ur dad get back to us now.
Now my mate (if u read my first ever post here it was abt how shes been with her guy for 3-4 months etc)
So i said shes been with her bf for 3-4 months and shes met the family, family love her etc, shes gonna get married next year. (and the guy aint even graduated) yet the family LOVE her n the guy. My bf is like let me get graduated first then we’ll get intouch again.
Ermm hello?? he can still get graduated but still hav the family INVOLVED with mine. Seriously am i talking a different language?!!
Anyway this is the thing that really pissed me off i told him i wanna speak to his mum (considering she knws abt me n what not) and hes spoke to my mum met my mum loads of times (even tho she didnt want to but i still made her) and hes like no my family aint like tht, she wont speak to u till after were married. i’m like ERRMM wth??!.. she knws abt me but wont speak to me??
Then i said my mate speaks to her bf’s mum and they get along wickedly. Then he had the nerve to say ’ why am i being jealous of her, jus bcoz she speaks to the guys family , jus be happy with what u got!’
I was SO hurt when he said this, how can he say i’m JEALOUS abt that?? why wud i be JEALOUS i’m HURT that i’ve been with him for so long and he cant even let me say HI to his mum. (oh and btw shes sent me food b4) so i dnt get why i cant speak to her or see her..
Am i seriously gettin takin for a mug here or what?
He says he wants to marry me but everytime i mention it he avoids the subject. ohh i dunno, i love him but if its not working i’d rather jus leave it then get my self into something that i cant get out of.
when a guy has honest, pure intentions, he would normally get the parents involved and get married. In his case, maybe he feels it's important for him to graduate and get settled, and then ask for a rishta, since that is how it's normally done. As for you wanting to talk to his mom, maybe he is avoiding it because his mother may be conservative? Most conservative aunties don't like the idea of talking to their son's girlfriends. Just this past month there was this aunty who talked to his sons friend who was a girl...just a friend btw. And the aunty came to me and started bad mouthing her, saying she has no sharam, and she's talking to me so freely and openly. And then the aunty went on and started saying her parents must've done something wrong in raising her. And I wanted to say, what about your sonnn!!! But I stayed quiet. So yea those could be the reasons. As for him thinking you're jealous..that's just an immature comment. Just don't push it, let him tell his parents when he is ready. But if you really want to make this relationship halal, which you should, then just tell him you want to continue your relationship with him after he is willing to talk to your parents.
that's y i don't like all this bf/gf thingy. anyways let him be. he's certainly not into marriage atm just wanna enjoy ur company n hang around u. It's upto u now either waste ur yrs waiting for him or move onwards for someone more interested in u.
*If he really wanted to marry you, he would have taken all the steps by now. In my mind guyz like him are worthless and a complete waste of time! *
And please stop comparing your relationship with your friend's!
Thats what i've began to thought. I'm not comparing my relationship. Its jus he did excuses like im not graduated, we've been together 2-3 months. and now its been more than a year n were still in the same place. thats why i brought her up as in ok then whys it happend for her, But i think i hav my answer :(
when a guy has honest, pure intentions, he would normally get the parents involved and get married. In his case, maybe he feels it's important for him to graduate and get settled, and then ask for a rishta, since that is how it's normally done. As for you wanting to talk to his mom, maybe he is avoiding it because his mother may be conservative? Most conservative aunties don't like the idea of talking to their son's girlfriends. Just this past month there was this aunty who talked to his sons friend who was a girl...just a friend btw. And the aunty came to me and started bad mouthing her, saying she has no sharam, and she's talking to me so freely and openly. And then the aunty went on and started saying her parents must've done something wrong in raising her. And I wanted to say, what about your sonnn!!! But I stayed quiet. So yea those could be the reasons. As for him thinking you're jealous..that's just an immature comment. Just don't push it, let him tell his parents when he is ready. But if you really want to make this relationship halal, which you should, then just tell him you want to continue your relationship with him after he is willing to talk to your parents.
Yes but with his brother, His wife's parents didnt even come to the wedding. But his mum still accepted it. So you know.....
that's y i don't like all this bf/gf thingy. anyways let him be. he's certainly not into marriage atm just wanna enjoy ur company n hang around u. It's upto u now either waste ur yrs waiting for him or move onwards for someone more interested in u.
I've never liked the whole boyfriend thing either. When i got with him i said to him str8 up i dont wanna waste time you either marry me or nothing. And he said he would and you wont believe how stupid i am waiting and waiting. I feel like a fool seriously i honestly dont know what to do.
Even if he is too young to get married.. and you are too young to get married too, if he really likes you and wants to get married to you, he will get his parents involved and at least do some kind of baat pakki. You can study after that.. he can too.
I've been in this similar situation, the guy BSed.. its stupid.. waste of time... they will just keep telling you yeah we will talk.. oh yeah i need some time... i need a stable job/education. And not get parents involved. Its just lies. If I really liked someone and plan to get married to that person, I won't fear telling my parents.
But anyway I am happily married to someone who saw me only ONCE before getting married. He knew I was the one. Told his parents.. and now MA i am happily married :)
I agree with the above. Tell him when he's ready for marriage he can contact you, what was the point of getting involved with you if he wasn't ready for marriage? It's like he's ready to fool around with you but not commit the right way. Save yourself the heartache and stop talking to him. I've been through the false promises, lies and heartache myself. It's not fun.
^ I know thats all i want.. To make it final thats all. Not get married tomorrow For heavens sake! I jus want our families to start talking etc.
Is that too much to ask for??
You sound just like me lol. And yes its a hard thing for him to do! You should be his pride and joy. If he has other priorities, let him do that first. I suggest you stop talking to him until he DOES something. In the meantime, forget about him (and I know it's not easy but it's the right thing to do). It just sounds like you're not his priority right now.
