Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
Yeh funny ad. 
^ I know thats all i want.. To make it final thats all. Not get married tomorrow For heavens sake! I jus want our families to start talking etc. Is that too much to ask for??
You are definitely not asking for too much. I am a bit skeptical about your situation just based on the fact that he is so hesitant for your families to get to know each other DESPITE being family friends??? It makes no sense. When a guy is serious about you and marriage, he will take initiative. He will understand it is a matter of respecting you by giving a proper name to the relationship you guys share.
When I met my bf, I told him I was only starting this relationship with very serious intentions. He said the same thing.....but he backed it up by getting his parents involved. We live in different states and our parents did not even know that the other set existed. But still, he had his mom calling mine and they became fast friends. Our parents made the effort to make the trips to visit each others homes and get to know each other. He asked his parents to ask mine for my hand marriage and humaari baat paki hogaye. Everyone understood I was still in school and had to complete my studies before a more serious step was taken.
But atleast a step was taken. Our relationship was given a name...our parents could say that humaari baat paki hogaye. Our families have developed a relationship. I spend a lot of time with his mother and sister openly. But none of this could have happened without my guy taking the initiative.
And the thing is - I did not even have to ask him to do it. He did it on his own. It showed how serious he was about me and our relationship.
I think you need to re-evaluate your relationship and try to get out of it. You are super young...try to find a guy that is more serious about you.
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
ok ur making me depressed here :(:(:( why cant i get a guy like u lucky people??? :(:(
i wanna cry!
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
Hey mate it's k. Ur just 20! Try to sort out things with ur man and if that aint workin then just focus on ur studies n hope u'll find someone bettah. U got ur all life ahead ov ya, no point in shedding tears over someone who doesn't give two hoots bout ya.
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
Dont cry!! But be strong and make smart decisions. It's your life and trust me...life goes by fast. Trust me - there ARE other guys out there. You will find one out there that will give you the respect you deserve! Respect of taking your relationship seriously.
No girl should be in the position you are in. It's not fair to you. You have been dating him for far too long and he is giving you crap excuses. And if it was not the whole "not done with education" excuse...it will probably be another excuse :( So yea.... be smart girl and take initiative.
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
20 years old yeah.. BUT it takes like 2 years to find a decent bloody rishta these days!!!!!
Dont cry!! But be strong and make smart decisions. It's your life and trust me...life goes by fast. Trust me - there ARE other guys out there. You will find one out there that will give you the respect you deserve! Respect of taking your relationship seriously.
No girl should be in the position you are in. It's not fair to you. You have been dating him for far too long and he is giving you crap excuses. And if it was not the whole "not done with education" excuse...it will probably be another excuse :( So yea.... be smart girl and take initiative.
ur right... the next thing wud be . '' right i need to get a job to impress ur parents now''
bullsh*t!!!!!!!:(
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
That is alright. that still only puts you at 22 - girlfriend that is YOUNGGGGG. Stop fretting about this. Dont think this relationship you are in is your only hope.
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
I am an old budi compared to you :) And I still found my wonderful guy didn't I? So don't loose hope and be so negative. Have faith, its all in Allahs hands after all. As Aisha said... focus on your studies and become something. Focus more on yourself and enjoy your 20's!
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
I agree with Punjabi... I am 21 and well I am not really bothered about it.. well I am coz of diff reasons but yeh that is young! Enjoy life and find a guy and be serious with him and then marry him when u have graduated and all that!
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
Here is the lesson for you all ladies.. the moment a man calls you his "GF" meaning he has no respect for you as a wife ( He might see you as a good friend and respect you that way) but that's about it... because a shareef man wouldn't be tagging along with a girl to the ice-cream parlours or movie theatres without having the intention to marry her.. call me old fashioned but a girl friend is just a lame girl friend ( a time pass) but fiance/wife is something to be proud of... my advice, move on and burst the bubble from your own hand, he will never marry you nor he feels the need to talk to his parents about you.. and if you have already slept with him then I pity you... if haven't then count your blessings and look for a real partner.
Ok so i've been with my bf for over a year now. And were pretty serious. (well i've been serious since i met him) I wanted to marry him frm day 1 and he wanted the same. But oh how things hav changed...
First off i asked him to get his parents to get intouch, It took him a YEAR to do this. So his dad has rang once. And my dad hasnt botherd to get back to them. B4 this i wanted him to get intouch like 3-4 months after we had been together. But it never happend he wud say like 'oh we've only been together for a little while, theres no point atm'
(Even tho my family and his are family friends so we kno the family well) So now i'm like get intouch again, jus to show that ur interested (RIGHT??) And hes like no my dads rang once let ur dad get back to us now.
Now my mate (if u read my first ever post here it was abt how shes been with her guy for 3-4 months etc)
So i said shes been with her bf for 3-4 months and shes met the family, family love her etc, shes gonna get married next year. (and the guy aint even graduated) yet the family LOVE her n the guy. My bf is like let me get graduated first then we'll get intouch again.
Ermm hello?? he can still get graduated but still hav the family INVOLVED with mine. Seriously am i talking a different language?!! Anyway this is the thing that really pissed me off i told him i wanna speak to his mum (considering she knws abt me n what not) and hes spoke to my mum met my mum loads of times (even tho she didnt want to but i still made her) and hes like no my family aint like tht, she wont speak to u till after were married. i'm like ERRMM wth??!.. she knws abt me but wont speak to me??
Then i said my mate speaks to her bf's mum and they get along wickedly. Then he had the nerve to say ' why am i being jealous of her, jus bcoz she speaks to the guys family , jus be happy with what u got!' I was SO hurt when he said this, how can he say i'm JEALOUS abt that?? why wud i be JEALOUS i'm HURT that i've been with him for so long and he cant even let me say HI to his mum. (oh and btw shes sent me food b4) so i dnt get why i cant speak to her or see her..
Am i seriously gettin takin for a mug here or what? He says he wants to marry me but everytime i mention it he avoids the subject. ohh i dunno, i love him but if its not working i'd rather jus leave it then get my self into something that i cant get out of.
Anyway help me out plz
he isnt serious about u. sorry if that sounds harsh, but its true. a guy whos serious about u does EVERYTHING he can to make sure u guys get married - ive seen it in my friends cases and uve seen it with ur friend whos bf told his parents right away...i think the sooner u leave him the better, hes not worth ur time
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
is ur bf only 20 yrs old? cos if he is then i seriously think u need to cut him some slack and give him a break. i don't see what the problem is with him wanting to graduate first before getting engaged :s i've been with my bf for 2 years now and we both finished uni this year and there is absolutely no way i would want to tell me parents about him while i was still at uni but that doesn't mean i don't love him and im not serious about marrying him because i am. its just my personal preference (and my bfs) to finish uni and be settled into jobs before we tell our parents and become engaged. maybe he's thinking along the same lines? i wouldn't dismiss him outright just because he wants to finish his studies first especially if he's only 20 years old.
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
he's 21. and hes very much stable in life. He doesnt even NEED to be graduated. He has his own stuff. But hes graduating in april. and it was HIS idea to get engaged next year. and it was HIS idea to even get married next year. So when i jus followed it, it doesnt seem real. were all different, and again i never said i wanted to get married at 20. i said i wanted his parents to be INTOUCH! thats all... thats why im confused of why just THAT cant happen. but anyway forget it. I'm gonna let him go, and if he really wants me then that will happen, If not then it was never meant to be. what can i do..
And yeah it is easy to get sucked into these bull**** lies. Especially when everything looks legit. But i will learn. This is certainly gonna be my last relationship. Cant handle the stress of it seriously.
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
yh maybe the other posters are right then when they said he isn't actually serious about marrying u... i still think u should talk to him properly and seriously one last time tho n this time make him understand tht its the end if he doesn't step up now. 1st time round i totally missed the part where u said it was all his idea etc etc maybe cos im half dead right now but neway if it was his idea then he has to follow thru n u need to get this into his head and if he doesnt get it then walk away. ur still so young yet, inshallah u will find someone worthy of being ur life partner one day. dont stress if this doesnt work out x
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
Thats alright :). Ummm, i tried talking to him.. He didnt hav any answers....
i guess that pretty much sum's it up right?....
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
ughhh i dnt get guys like that, y wud he spend a whole yr with u n put ideas into ur head n then totally flop. if its like that then yh ur better off without him. from ur posts it seems as if ur already used to the idea of moving on without him so good for u! there's a whole world out there and im sure ul find ur mr perfect :) ur nickname makes u sound all exotic... come to east london n they'll be fallin over themselves 4u lol
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
ohhh dont talk to me abt east laaaaaaaadaaaaaaaan!! bad experiences LOL
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
The likelihood of a Pakistani guy making you into his wife after he has called you his girlfriend is slim.
He is playing with your head, you're not his priority and he is creating circumstances where you will get fed up and walk away yourself...that way he doesnt have to do any of the dirty work.
You want to do yourself a favor? Walk away and see if he follows. If he does, dont give in and make him work for your approval. If he doesnt, move on knowing YOU dumped HIM.
Re: Boyfriend ISSUES!!
ok honestly gurl when i was ur age i was behind my guy to talk to his mum about me n gt rishta paka or do something n i had been dating for wayyyyyyyyyy longer thn u have (p.s: for a guy one yr is worthlsss) u do sound imature i suggest try this relationship fr arnd 2yrs atleast dunt rush into things...enjoy the relationship n do all this parents crap after 2yrs...let the guy become something bfr he besharmo ki tarha asks his dad ke "daddy daddy im not graduated n i like a gurl pls call the gurls dad second time n talk abt me" i mean cmon.... !!!! u gota be kidding mee....
seriously at 20 when everyone aas paas getting hitched u r in a hurry too but this is ur time to njoy yeh mom dad shadi wadi sab hota raheyga...stop dreaming about ur engagment n start thinking about getting a L I F E beyond this..
Gurl go HAVE FUN!!!!!!