thanks for getting back to me. i certainly see where ur coming from and agree with some of ur points but i don't think it applies to every relationship especially the part where you said '*You want him to respect you and marry you? Dont date him'. *some of my friends have the same mentality and even i used to think that but now im like if i didn't date my bf how would i know i want to marry him? lol kwim? that doesnt mean he doesnt respect me. i've been dating him for 2 yrs and i know him inside out... i know what makes him tick, his likes/dislikes etc and i know for sure that we are 100% compatiable and he is someone i can spend my life with. for me i wouldn't have known all this if i didnt date him and spend as much time as i do with him. his mum holds traditional views and even she knows that he has someone in his life and she accepts that and has no problem with it because these days a lot of the older generation (where i live) have come to realise and understand that this is how their off spring will find a life partner.
When I got to Psquareds comment about the whole bf/gf/ kills chances in the future for marriage I was about to question that as well until I got to your posts! haha. I live in the US and I know that this is a huge country. But from what I am seeing, most of our generation is getting married in this manner. Parents (even the more traditional/conservative ones) have come to accept and understand that this is how today's generation is finding their future spouse. It is so hard to find someone legit that most aunties I know are actually hoping that their child "finds someone" .... like what is that supposed to mean except the obvious?
And true, you may never truly know someone until you marry them. I agree completely. But you also have to take into account that strong bonds and emotional links are also created during this girlfriend/boyfriend period. I totally believe that if you meet someone who is serious about you and committed - they will not want to let go of that. But obviously as mixedbeauty's post has brought up, there are some red flags that should go off that should give some indication that the level of commitment is not there (for whatever reason).
But yea- basically I totally do not think that getting a bf kills the chances for marriage. Everyone I know around me is getting married in this manner. Arranged marriages are hard to come by. But again - it could just be the area where I am living.
Ofcourse one should be very considerate of what kind of guy/girl you are getting involved with. The more "your type" is similar to your "parents type" .... the easier things will work out in the future for everyone :)