Re: boyfriend and weed.
how come mawali/nashai guy got a gal frand??
In my opinion, it is not a normal lifestyle. I know guys do clubbing/sheesha but this guy is problematic.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
I know many guys who smoke weed occasionally, i dont see it as an addiction. But as someone above said it, you should make sure that he doesn't have other addictions (hidden gfs or drinking or whatever the worst you can imagine). He is not preferring weed over you, it's just his lifestyle. So i would rate this guy positive if he only has this "occasional" habit of smoking weed which bothers you.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
weed is an addiction after long term use.
look it up :P
Re: boyfriend and weed.
I know a lot of guys who smoke weed and aren't addicted to it, they do it for the heck of it when hanging out with friends etc. They could probably stop any time they want to but they won't. It doesn't make them bad people.
The way I see it your boyfriend will only quit weed when he wants to. Nothing you can do will make him quit. I've seen this happen a lot of times actually the girlfriend doesn't like the habit so the boy effectively quits, but then every once in a while when he comes under peer pressure he'll smoke, because really the only reason they've quit is because they were told to and not because they wanted to.
Your boyfriend might be a great in every way but at the end of the day if smoking weed is a big deal to you and not to him then you will always have issues over this. At least he's being honest with you now and saying that this is not a habit he is interested in changing. If you feel this is a dealbreaker then you need to leave him. He might change in the future; I've often seen it happen when guys get married or have kids, they suddenly discover their good sense and stop, but there are no guarantees.
What I think is worse than the smoking is that he lied to you over something he knows is very important to you. I don't think his intentions were bad he obviously did it to stay with you but it was quite selfish of him. Going into the future this will definitely cause trust issues between you two and only you can decide if you can get over it, but personally i would always be wary of being lied to again.
Basically if you continue with this relationship you have to accept that he smoking weed is a part of life and he may never quit and only you can tell how important that is to you. You're lucky that you're not married and do still have the option of walking away.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
I know a lot of guys who smoke weed and aren't addicted to it, they do it for the heck of it when hanging out with friends etc. They could probably stop any time they want to but they won't. It doesn't make them bad people.
justification much?
serious misguidance......reads like a chapter from some teen-age dorm room.....
You're dumb for staying with him this long. He's dumb for smoking weed. You probably will not leave him, again dumb. This will not end well.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
I'm not justifying it, I personally don't approve of it and would not be someone who practises the habit. But yes it is very typical behaviour for some people in university and for a few years after and I don't think someone is a 'bad person' because they do it. Its a lifestyle choice very much like drinking alcohol is and I don't judge people for those kind of choices, regardless of whether I think its wrong or not. But then hey maybe my definition of 'bad person' is different than yours, my friends are not liars, cheats, mean, dishonest, manipulative, angry and they don't harm others. If smoking weed constitutes the definition of being a 'bad person' in the OP's opinion like it does in yours then I take what I said back and admit that her boyfriend must be a bad person.
justification much?
serious misguidance......reads like a chapter from some teen-age dorm room.....
Re: boyfriend and weed.
it's not difficult to give up weed. if he is resisting, he might be into stronger drugs.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
I'm not justifying it, I personally don't approve of it and would not be someone who practises the habit. But yes it is very typical behaviour for some people in university and for a few years after and I don't think someone is a 'bad person' because they do it. Its a lifestyle choice very much like drinking alcohol is and I don't judge people for those kind of choices, regardless of whether I think its wrong or not. But then hey maybe my definition of 'bad person' is different than yours, my friends are not liars, cheats, mean, dishonest, manipulative, angry and they don't harm others. If smoking weed constitutes the definition of being a 'bad person' in the OP's opinion like it does in yours then I take what I said back and admit that her boyfriend must be a bad person.
for clarification you will notice that I haven't criticized him for smoking weed (although yes, I do not approve of this "lifestyle choice")....I've pointed out that he was dishonest and manipulative.
both qualities that I find despicable.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
it's not difficult to give up weed. if he is resisting, he might be into stronger drugs.
and what's more troubling is that he may think this sort of "lifestyle" is nothing to worry about......it's a slippery slope
Re: boyfriend and weed.
Yeh dhuan dhuan sa rehne do
Mujhe weed ki aag mein jalne do
Re: boyfriend and weed.
Peace mahika
I can give you a valid reason for him to stop smoking. Tell him if he can smoke 15 cigarettes one after the other and then the final one eat it ... and swallow it with water without throwing up ... If he can do it then let him smoke - he is probably not human.
Regarding weed - Tell him to get a full quarter of an ounce and smoke half and eat the other half all himself ... ask him to write a meaningful letter after 90 minutes of taking the weed and then ask him not to eat anything for five hours whilst staying awake - when he is sober ask him to recall all that he did ... if he can't do it then he must leave smoking weed.
You stay there watching him do all of that to himself - if you stop him doing it ... then you won't be able to leave him, if you can watch him throughout the test and not stop him then you are powerful enough to let him go if needed.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
Unfortunately I think this sums up the situation very well. :hinna:
But I will add that I don’t think he’s dumb for smoking weed. I think he’s dumb for smoking cigarettes and LYING about smoking weed.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
for clarification you will notice that I haven't criticized him for smoking weed (although yes, I do not approve of this "lifestyle choice")....I've pointed out that he was dishonest and manipulative. both qualities that I find despicable.
Understood and if you noticed I also pointed out that the bigger issue here is that he lied to her about it knowing she wouldn't approve. My point was simply that smoking weed doesn't make him a bad person but it does maybe make him wrong for her. He probably doesn't quit because he doesn't think its a big deal and he was trying to have his cake and eat it too when he continued to smoke up and lie to the OP. It was selfish of him and like I mentioned I think the issue here is of trust and also a little bit of having different ideology's. That being said if he really cared about and respected the OP and she felt so strongly about this issue then he would have quit already... for real.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
lying about such stuff is not unusual. i'm sure he lies to his parents about having a girlfriend as well. this isn't being manipulative or dishonest for himself, its just the path of least resistance for a guy who isn't ready for anything serious. like 99% of guys who are still in uni.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
dump him
get a guy who chews supaari.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
lying about such stuff is not unusual. i'm sure he lies to his parents about having a girlfriend as well. this isn't being manipulative or dishonest for himself, its just the path of least resistance for a guy who isn't ready for anything serious. like 99% of guys who are still in uni.
Both his parents know about me and mine do too about him.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
As you live in pakistan so i supposed you are mature enough to know that our society simply hate and call this type of guys: charsi, mawali, nasha'ai etc... c'mon girl, how on earth you are thinking to make a charsi your husband?
Re: boyfriend and weed.
^ Both of us are studying abroad, and I have spent most my life out of Pakistan and so has he.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
^ Both of us are studying abroad, and I have spent most my life out of Pakistan and so has he.
... He'll grow out of it most probably.