Thanks for youre opinions.
If someone can please delete this thread, it would be great.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
Can you summarise it please 
Re: boyfriend and weed.
lol, I know its long. But I thought it wuld be best to give every possible detail I can. My apologies.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
The relationsip started with a lie, he has been continuously lying to you throughout and he will most likely continue to lie to you. And weed is more important to him than you are. Isn't this an obvious decision?
Re: boyfriend and weed.
I have gone through the complete post and if you were a friend, I'd suggest that you leave this person. Its totally not worth it. Not sure if I would do the same if I was in your situation though. In other words what I am trying to say is, if you are seeking an opinion, any other person you'll talk to is going to suggest you to leave him. Being in a situation is another story though. You know all the details, and you know in your heart that leaving him is a rational thing to do, however it is not going to be an easy step.
Right now you probably need reasons to leave him instead of reasons to stay around. He has bad habits that you don't approve off, but he choose not to quit them for you. Yes, I know sacrifice is required to make a relationship work but it has to be done at both ends. Priorities change with time. Right now, you only want to be with this guy. So assume, you do and ignore all his bad habits and get married. Whats next? Kids? And would you like the brought up of your kids in the company of that person - let alone that person being the father? I don't think so. Bottom line, you already know what is the rational thing to do here. Best of luck
Re: boyfriend and weed.
^ I agree, and I have given him the exact same reason (about the future, kids, etc.) But as you said, youre not sure what you would have done if youre in the same position as me.
Priorities do change within time, and with him atm, thats what I can really hope and pray for.
And yes, at this time I rethinking all the negatives and positives of this relationship. The negatives are overtaking the positive. Though, I am still praying there will be some other solution to this.
And with Umer, yes It is sad that he is choosing weed over me. Only if he would realize that.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
What is weed???
He is telling u the truth now because he has no way to cover himself..
Truth is not when u cannot hide but when u can hide but u still tell the truth ..i can bet
I can also bet that u wont break up with him its too late now. So just dont bother to look for a suggestion when u r unable to act on it...
Re: boyfriend and weed.
^ lol, I think so too, but do you think I will be happy with him knowing this fact? Considering the fact that it cannot now be erased from my memory.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
I just hate it when girls go for the worst guy in the world and will say "all boys are same"..
Re: boyfriend and weed.
And with Umer, yes It is sad that he is choosing weed over me. Only if he would realize that.
You basically have the choice between two evils:
1) Stick with the guy who doesn't reciprocate the respect you have for him
2) Leave him and be heartbroken for a while
To me it sounds like an easy decision. But then, I'm not you.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
mahika your situation give you only two ways,
1. If you wish to stay with him in this relation, its just like a bet, If he proves to be a true lover (which he has so far not proven much) then you will have a happy life, but if (may that not happen) he proves to be disloyal and less loving then you have to live by dying every day, kind of a like compromising life.
2. You can die (in sense of being sad and heart break) completely one time (surely it does hurt but its really better compared to dying every day) and trust in God and try to live a different life without him.
Your know how to judge this situation better. Listen to your heart and mind if you even have 10% doubt about him then go for the 2nd choice. Cause so far it has been kind of like one sided relationship, just think about it do you give value to anything when it comes to him, then why does he. The time you feel weak stop listening to your heart and listen to your mind.
rest is up to you cause seeking advise will not do you any good when you have made it all final in you mind that you will not be leaving him.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
^ ur mind can never overcome ur heart ..
Re: boyfriend and weed.
6) He is doing nothing to harm our relationship. He promised he wont ever. He says not like he is cheating on me or now even lying to me or hiding things from me. This shouldnt effect our relationship at all. And he will continue to do it until he finds it neccessary to.
^ Wait a minute....by your own admission (and his), he hid and lied about his behavior for the last 2 years right? He told you he would quit these habits when you two first started but he obviously lied. So ask yourself....if he can lie to you about weed...what makes you think he can't lie to you about cheating? According to his own words, the only reason he's being totally honest now is b/c he's tired of hiding the truth. So again, what makes you think that he won't cheat on you, and then be honest with you afterwards b/c he's tired of hiding that?
Secondly, he smokes cigarettes and you're ok with that?! WHY?!!
He said he wants me to use my brain and my heart to make the decision and he will give me time to do so, as this is an important decision; he wants me to be sensible and do what I think will be best for me.
I agree with your boyfriend about this. Choosing a life partner is a major decision that will not only effect you the rest of your life....but it will also effect the lives of your children (assuming you want to be a mom someday). You need to start using your brain more. This guy will not change. He has already lied to you about his behavior. Do you want your children to have a father who smokes cigarettes, weed etc.? How are you going to convince your children not to do those things while their father is doing them?
Decide what you want. Do not continue this relationship with the naive expectation that he will change. This "lifestyle" is acceptable to him and a part of who he is. If you're ok with it, then continue this relationship. If you're not ok with it, then stop wasting your time on him and find something who shares the same values as you do.
boyfriend and weed.
Most guys get worse when you get married to them, so if he is bad now (trust me) he will get worse when, and if, you decide to marry him.! But I also know how hard it is to end a relationship ESP if you have commuted so much time love and emotion to it. .. Good luck.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
leave him now - and save yourself a lifetime of heartbreak.
Not to mention you may be doing him a favor too - maybe he'll be reformed for the next chick.
you keep taking him back - you're sending him the message that its okay to behave like he does.
boyfriend and weed.
I dont think think he took you seriously on your threat to leave him. I think you ought to take a stand just to see how seriously he takes your relationship. He might come to his senses as to what is at stake here, in which case you gain, or he might not, in which case you win again.
Weed is not the main issue here is it, its trust. He may well do all those other things and then deny it to your face. Could you trust him fully again? Or will you always be second guessing everything he says?
Re: boyfriend and weed.
sorry to say but this is almost comical.....
you started the relationship with an ultimatum...."I'll only stay if you quit...."
he ignored your wishes and continued to smoke up......and decided it was okay to LIE TO YOU for years.
and now.......hilariously.......has you so far in his grip that he's laying down the law.....
if you step outside of yourself for a few minutes, can you see what you look like?
is that the foundation upon which to build a lifetime together?
Re: boyfriend and weed.
funny indeed
come on girl you know what to do :P
Re: boyfriend and weed.
By not taking a stand against him, you're enabling his bad behaviour and that makes you just as complicit.
If he's addicited to weed, then your behaviour shows you're addicted to your BF - the obvious answer is to gocold turkey and just to end the relationship - but that takes courage which you both of you lack. So maybe the two of you are meant for each other.
Re: boyfriend and weed.
weed isn't physically addictive. if the guy wants he can call it quits any day. but he doesnt want that. :D
alcohol and smoking is a lot worse when it comes to addiction. and possibly health too.
seedha saadha bachas dont do charas, and they usually dont have gullfrands either.
just make sure he isn't just a lafanga overall if you are going to waste more time on him.