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another thing thats disturbing the guy is............the brothers of the girl......they used to respect him a lot before..like typical 'damaad' treatment.......but eversince that happened....her brothers are already acting up and being rude and mean (compared to before)....... they also demand gifts/money from this guy frequently.........
this has the guy thinking that may be the girl told her brothers......and they are just trying to use him now......and only after his money.......especially because of girl's changed attitude and her family demanding money and gifts......
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If the guy is thinking/feeling that, its probably true. Why are all of them acting like that at the same time?
I think she told mom and mom told the brothers or she told a sister, sister tells mom, mom panics and tells brothers... ka-chinnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg time to cash in.
I would expect the brothers/girls family to bash her up if she told them what she did instead of going all rude with the guy. The girl is obviously not 12 yrs old who could have been pressurized into it, heck i believe even 12 yrs old can make their decisions wisely nowadays …don’t know what is going wrong with the “elders” :halo:. Anyways, … this story does not look complete AT ALL. Why did the girl’s and her family’s attitude changed? that doesnt make any sense. Plus its not like the guy is under a contract to marry her, so how can she act the way she is without realising the consequences. If the guy refuses to marry her, she wl be all the more at loss and yes it is not fair but this is life. So yah, this is definately one sided story- the uncomplete truth!
If I was the guy I'd drop her. NOTHING is going to get better when they get married, if anything it'll probably get worse. She's shown her true colours. And really if she does tell about them having sex she'll be dragging her own name through the mud as well.
he shouldnt back out now...id say..stick to YOUR decisions.and take the situation in your hands,and be a man!
if her brothers are being too demanding.well...it's their sister they ar emarrying off to you.it's a big deal!!happens..loads of more behaviour changes will happen till the wedding ceremony...be ready!its a common thing!
you love her..she loved you enough to get physical..and a mood swing(prolly will be pms-ed till wedding) shouldnt change you decision to marry her!
maybe shez guilty/angry at herself for doing something she shouldnt have,and hence taking it out on the guy...and more so..on his family.
im sure things will get fine once they get married!
the guy only 'thinks' that she told them.....because the change of behavior from the girl and her brother started around the same time......... he obvously woudn't know for sure what went on between the siblings...........he assumed that there was a reason behind a coherent change of attitudes........ this doesn't make any sense...but people get worried about issues that don't make any sense............... if it was all so sensibly solveable...there would be no issues...
second thing.......... no the guy didn't force it on her........it was mutual (as per his statement).....and he himself is also feeling very guilty about that.........
the main issue, as i said before, is that he has lost trust/comfort with the girl n their family.....
the 'sudden' persistent relentless demands of gifts has put him off......... normal gift giving is expected...........but not the urgency and push for gifts they are showing...............and the
second thing is the badmouthing of family........it wasn't there before.......it also started recently......... which has him worried........
he is a guy who cares about his family, and they do for him.........despite the fact that he was allowed to find his own partner.........but the family is fully involved........
the guy did tell the girl about his concerns........but she just snubbed him......and had only thing to say.........getting married ASAP........she didn't listen to any other of his concerns....issues......she doesn't seem to care about them..
Guy feels super guilty if he were to not marry her..........but on the other hand........he sees (rightly or wrongly) golddiggers..........and the woman he thought ws perfect....changing completely..........
he has gotten shaken badly by all this..........hence this thread...
He needs to remind her that it takes two to tango and that she could have chosen to keep her legs closed and stuck to it. Try to reason with her...and if he sees that there's no improvement in her behavior and it's only getting worse.....than break if off with her. What can she truly do to him if he were to end the relationship? Blackmail him with spreading the news? That would hurt her and her family's reputation more than it would his. Now if she's prego...that's another thing.
lol buddy, this is why you don't become so chipku with someone and get all physical...
Take your f'n time, know what the hell you exactly want, and then approach someone.
I don't know who to side. I do feel for the guy as i HATE controlling freaks. However, he chose this girl...it was his and her mutual decision, so i feel that if they wish to remain together or go apart, that should also be a mutual decision. Hence, i would say he should have a serious talk with her that he is bothered by her behaviour and she needs to know that what she is doing is aweful.
She is doing this because she feels insecure in her relationship with the guy. She doesnt trust him and she feels he will leave her. So she is acting up like this.
if the engagement break off, the girl will suffer for the rest of the life. if they do get married, the guy MAY suffer cuz of inlaws BUT he is man and should be able to save himself. main question is: does he love the girl? like her very much?
it's too complicated...sex before marriage with a guy you KNOW you are getting married to anyways is just a wrong decision.
when limits are tread on, things are bound to go bad :/
Well am actually surprised at the girl and her family's attitude (esp if they KNOW!)
it still isn't too late for the guy to get himself out of the mess! In this case I have NO sympathies for that woman because she seems very clever and manipulative.
:halo:.
