life is not binary. You have to set priorities.
Personally I think, in first 3-4 years your kids ABSOLUTELY need you. This is very critical period of char building. So if being away from kids can be avoided during this period, it SHOULD be avoided. If its not possible, 2nd best thing is to have grandparents take care of kids (be it saas or maa).
I’d rather have my wife working and have my kids taken care off by my mom or my saas than earning them one meal a day (due to poverty) and having my wife sit at home with them. On the other other hand, If one of the parents can earn a decent life for whole family, I’d rather have one of them stay home with kids during their first 3-4 years.
My wife stayed home for our first child and I stayed home with our 2nd child
I agree life is not binary, but atleast one should have the decency to ask/check with their mother or MIL whether they want to raise your kids or not.