Reha
June 30, 2010, 7:10pm
82
REHA, your blibbering. Just because I am preg/giving birth now whatever, wasnt the reason i posted this thread. god.
if you bother to read my first post again on this, i gave examples of what id seen, and knew. and i found that extremely poor. and I know this girl. Not looking at her from the outside.
I am talking about a certain lifestyle, giving kids to parents, who should be at their age, not contracted to it. I am not waiting for sob stories from people about how its necessary for them. i wasnt attacking anyone here, i was attacking the kind of thought where people expect their parents to look after their kids almost like its a prerequisite.
Like I said before…I dont know this type of thing as a lifestyle. Ive no idea who you’re hanging out with or the examples you’re seeing. But this isnt common AT ALL.
Honey, you dont need to justify anything, and i dont need to either, although its too late now. however, i was not attacking anyone personally, it was the train of thought that is common these days, especially when girls now have degrees/alot of experience and the common thought is oh well we alwyas have our parents..
alot of people go to work because they want to, i.e im not talking any old job, i know lots of girls who have trained to become laywers or something specialised like that, and their thinking is how can i give up my 2 years training now, i have to work, otherwise whats the point in my education blah blah…
i also saw a woman who out of desperation to pay bills, took up job as a cleaner/anything just to get some money.
i certainly dont compare the two situations and i did say time and time again, that extreme situations are different, and everyone is diff.
Okay, so again…what is wrong with a woman working if she wants to? If she can handle it and maintain a decent family life…who are we to judge her? You spend your whole life educating yourself for your career, then you get married, have a baby and someone tells you its wrong for you to pursue it. When do you get to do something for yourself? This goes back to the idea of why bother educating women, its not like they have to work…they only have to raise kids.
Another can of worms…
MIAinVA:
Uff larki, Pakistan mein bhi the grandparents have always taken care of the grandkids, even when the moms are not working and are at home… they LIKE doing it, you’re not forcing it upon them.
My MIL came to visit me two years ago and my daughter was still going to daycare, she ordered me to leave my daughter at home and spent all day doing her chores… from waking her, feeding her, giving her a bath to everything else… even after I came home, she would say let me play with her… she did it for 2 months straight and even now when I go to Pakistan, she takes over everything. The grandparents like taking care of their grandkids, it gives them a sense of happiness and belonging, I don’t know why you’re saying its forced on them.
Secondly, the sob story as you’re calling it is a real experience, a FACT as opposed to your assumptions about the grandparent relationship. I do not expect sympathy from people or them to say oh you’re an azeem khatoon… its stated as it happened, you just do what you gotta do in your circumstances…
Grandparents provide something parents cannot. They have their place and I would LOVE it if my kids could learn things from theirs. If someone feels like thats “dumping” my kids on them…so be it.
