I don’t understand why this is more prevalent in the Pakistani expat communities? I was a dinner party for a Pakistani artist, yesterday evening and some random uncle kept talking about his boy studying at some top shelf school in England and just finished an internship directly working under George Soros. Incidentally that kid happened to be at the same party and after talking with him, it became pretty clear that he was going to some Thames Valley school and did some back office work for a company that was affiliated with supporting the Soros investment house. Huge difference.
I mean there is one thing to be proud of your kids, family and another is to straight up fabricate the reality. In Banking, I can count the top Pakistani IB guys on both of my hands, my graduating class at Harvard, had a total of 12 Pakistanis, so it’s a small world.
Late that night, I ended up at a Turkish house party where I knew a few people and the new folks that I met had questions about where I had traveled, how I liked this current city etc. There was boasting, no BS.
There are definitely down to earth Pakis around, while much of the community is mired in the tackiness of boasting.
I don't understand why this is more prevalent in the Pakistani expat communities? ** I was a dinner party for a Pakistani artist,** yesterday evening and some random uncle kept talking about his boy studying at some top shelf school in England and just finished an internship directly working under George Soros. Incidentally that kid happened to be at the same party and after talking with him, it became pretty clear that he was going to some Thames Valley school and did some back office work for a company that was affiliated with supporting the Soros investment house. Huge difference.
I mean there is one thing to be proud of your kids, family and another is to straight up fabricate the reality. In Banking, I can count the top Pakistani IB guys on both of my hands,** my graduating class at Harvard**, had a total of 12 Pakistanis, so it's a small world.
Late that night, **I ended up at a Turkish house party **where I knew a few people and the new folks that I met had questions about where I had traveled, how I liked this current city etc. There was boasting, no BS.
There are definitely down to earth Pakis around, while much of the community is mired in the tackiness of boasting.
Fabrication is lying . But even mentioning your achievements just to impress other person is not very appropriate when you can convey your thoughts in much simpler words . Let me give you an example .
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In Banking, I can count the top Pakistani IB guys on both of my hands, my graduating class at Harvard
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I've seen everyone boost about their kids. No kidding. Pakistanis or not.. of course BSing and fabricating is another but I've seen regular whites blacks do that too. Not just a problem with Pakistanis I think.
But yeah it is wrong to lie I think about something you are well aware of and doing it to make the other person look stupid or like they haven't achieved anything. Sometimes some people really do not have the right knowledge about what the kid does. I promise you that happens. Example: My dad knows my sister is in business school studying getting good grades but he doesn't know what her major is. He just says haan meri beti yahan yahan parhti hai acha parhti hai.. but doesn't know what her major is in business... Not that they are Bsing.. they sometimes just don't know.
I do agree with you, some do that. Haan ji hamara beta amreeca main dallaroon main kamata hai.. What does the son do... cabbie
Mentioning Harvard was highly unnecessary. Other people go to Ivy league universities too. You could have conveyed the same thoughts without that one two lines and it would have carried more weight.
So there was one response that was fitting and I'll address that:
Spiral, you're absolutely right. Parents and kids should definitely be proud of their achievements when they are justified. There is nothing more empowering that seeing Pakistanis and Muslims doing well in as diverse fields as Medicine, Technology, and Sports. I am always pleasantly surprised to encounter a Pakistani/Muslim name. A few years back, I was fortunate enough to be part of a meeting with Fred Hassan, the ex CEO of Schering-Plough, before the meeting I thought his name sounded Middle Eastern, but during a break I ended finding out that he was Pakistani origin, had solid credentials and was pretty easy going.
Now before some esteemed folks start to go crazy with the boldy bold again, the point here is not my meeting with the man, but the fact that his achievements are hardly noted in the Pakistani community while random Pakistani restaurant, cinema owners are touted as the greatest thing since sliced bread.
As for the other comments, easy to sling shots sitting behind a computer screen and be cynical..but then again it's no surprise to me, when you have people hating on genuine achievements while condoning fabricated boasts.
pak, our parents have kept loads of hope from us. but we cant achieve all of their dreams. its not the parent fabricating, its us who are telling em half of the truth.
so if they are fabricating it to the extent where they can be a part of any uncle conversation, i dont think there is any harm in getting that fake happiness.
ps. may be what i am saying is hard for you to understand, but you will one day when your children will be at your age.
yeah I know what you mean. seems like our community's goals are a little misdirected. the goal is to show off to the other guy instead of truly achieving something on an absolute basis.
btw, since you mention harvard/ibanking, etc, did you do your MBA there?
Maybe to you, that person's boasting means nothing because that person does not have a high position or prestigious title, but for that family, that kid's work means a lot to them. For them, maybe that is their "harvard". So who are you to mock them for it?
Or is it that unless you have a Harvard label, you just can't boast about yourself?
I'm proud of my accomplishments, but I dont have a Harvard label. Please think about it and let me know if I have any right to be proud of my achievements and I will comply. Thanks. :)
LOL bro lets be honest here ... u are proud of ur harvard achievements and u were boasting a lil about it ... well a lil more than a lil but we wont go there ... as for the other part about fabricating and wat not .... who cares man ... if the old man is happy telling people that his son worked for so and so ... then let him be happy ... at his age he has probably seen many hard times and if a lil small lie makes him happy and proud of his son then who gives a crap .... i'd rather have my dad be proud of me too and tell a small white lie if that makes him proud ... why burst someone else's bubble ... i mean wat are you gonna get out of it anyways
i had a very similar experience. Like i was at a brunch for a pakistani exotic dancer and some random aunty just kept talking about her daughter about how she was some big shot call center operator and once helped Bill Gates troubleshoot a Windows problem. Incidentally that kid happened to be at the same party, but she didn't talk to me since I look like a creepy & weird uncle. But I bet her mother was just fabricatin.
I mean there is one thing to be proud of your kids, family and another is to straight up fabricatin' the reality. My graduating class at University of Phoenix, had a total of 1245454 Pakistanis, so it's kind of a small world.
Late that night, I ended up at a Albianin frat party where I knew a few people and the new folks that I met had questions about where I had traveled, how many heads of state I had met and how much caviar I throw away every day. There was boasting, booze, cuddling with drunk out girls but at least no BS of fabricatin.
There are definitely down to earth Pakis around (just me), while much of the community is mired in the tackiness of fabricatin'.
:k: