Birth Plan...

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1

yes yes I know when the time comes, it all goes out the window BUT my hospital and midwifery practice requires us to have a birth plan.. They have given me a template of “My Birthday wishes” with some multiple choice questions to fill out regarding pain medication, relief technisques, breastfeeding, hospital stay etc etc but they are also encouraging me to include whatever I will like to include in there.

It’s about 6 pages long and I dont want to have such a long birth plan for nurses to see (even though they put that in our file about 4-5 weeks before the EDD) I was just thinking of giving them a one page birth plan included but not limited to

  • no male nurses/docs unless and until absolutely necessary in case of an emergency
  • epidural ASAP
  • will like to try water birth (since it’s an option but I dont know how comfortable I will be in the HUGE bath tub at that time)
  • wireless monitoring since I dont want to lie in bed throughout the labor
  • will prefer that they do the test on baby while we are holding the baby after birth instead of taking him away if its not needed medically (they prefer doing that except some old school nurses who take the baby to the warmer to do the tests)
    -my preference for birthing position
  • and that I dont want to see any blood!!

and for baby, no bottle or pacifier until I give permission!

What else can I include? Do I sound too rude in my choices above?

I will honestly go with the flow and let the baby and midwife determine the course of action but considering they prefer having one, I want to keep it sweet and simple and just very direct!

Any ideas/suggestions etc?

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Re: Birth Plan...

No it is not 'rude' at all...!
I got a 4-5 page thing in the mail a few weeks before my EDD.It had multiple choice questions in it regarding my preference for pain medication and who I want with me.I do not recall water birth option,maybe because I never thought I would want to do that.
I remember I was very specific about the epidural (wanted it asap ) and that only my husband be with me throughout the process.I strictly did not want any medical students (no offense to them,but it was a personal preference).I was also particular about the fact that I wanted to breastfeed exclusively at that time.
I do not remember what else was in there,but it almost covered everything I had in mind.Unfortunately,labor took another turn for me and the birth plan was not used exactly like the way intended.
I had forgotten that I had mentioned in it that I would prefer no males.Once I was in the post-op recovery area,they stuck a note on my door that read "No males allowed",and I appreciate the fact that the acknowledged it.Although I got to see a male anesthetist,a male on-call pediatrician and a male ob as well in the next few days,but they were kind enough to send a female nurse in first to ask if they could come see me or the baby.

What my experience was that the nurses/docs are very accommodating when it comes to your comfort etc during labor.It is always good to have a plan but you can always do what you feel is working for you at that time.

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Re: Birth Plan…

Oh and regarding the not seeing any blood part…make sure your husband also does not get to see any as well,:hehe:.I am not sure how he is around actual blood but mine actually disappointed me.
He almost fainted when they were giving me the epidural and the nurse had to make him sit…:rolleyes: and when they took me in for the C section,he was actually scared to look around incase he saw any blood.I still remember after they completed the procedure,he actually asked a doctor if it was ok for him to get up from the stool..meaning if they had cleaned it all up…!!

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Re: Birth Plan...

good thing my hospital doesnt have any medical students otehrwise I would have sooo put that in there!!! Looks like, I should be okay with my plan and see if there is anything else I will like to include.. I will definitely add in exclusively breast feeding in addition to no bottle or binky in the hospital!

you know last time I was in the ER, I bled so much that tehy had to change my hospital gown, sheet etc and that was only for the blood test and IV but with the young inexperienced nurse(i still have the mark on my hand where the IV went in) my mom panicked and kept saying to the nurse, why are you letting her bleed so much, id idnt see a thing because I was high on pain med and very drowsy but my husband was like can I help you find a vein and helping her cleanup the bood so I am assuming he is okay with it :D

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Re: Birth Plan...

my prenatal nurse told me to put it in point form and only have 5 or 6 points. nurses don't generally have time to spend ages poring over a word document, you know?

i had the following:

  1. Want epidural as soon as possible please!
  2. Delay the vitamin k shot/eye drops for 45 minutes so we can have some time with our baby immediately following the birth
  3. Personal support persons in labor & delivery: only my mom and my husband
  4. Prefer not to have episiotomy unless absolutely necessary
  5. Would like to be able to change position as labour progresses, if possible
  6. Dad does not want to cut umbilical cord
  7. Arrange circumcision if baby is a boy

also in your plan, if you go with epi, then i think that rules out a waterbirth. they wont let you go in the water with an epi since you're so completely numb and unable to move yourself around. and since water is considered pain relief on its own, i'm pretty sure its one or the other, so you might want to choose.

as for male nurses and docs... i dunno, hon. they're looking at you like a patient, not anything lurid or weird. i know where i gave birth, the only guy was the OB, all the nurses were ladies and i think generally most l & d nurses are female but i wouldn't put it in there because i'd want whomever is the best to be available to me, regardless of their gender. i don't want to be missing out on excellent care just because its a he and not a she.

as far as monitoring goes, once the epi is in, you can't move anyway, so the wireless bit doesn't apply. you could ask for a walking epidural which, i believe, is a much lighter dose, but that of course comes with the trade off of feeling pain.

everything else looks great!

its coming up so fast now!!! :)

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Re: Birth Plan…

Am I the only one who wouldn’t want my husband to be there during the second stage at least. :hmmm: Would having my mom instead be a better option. I hope she doesnt just freak out. Going through one’s own delivery is one thing but witnessing your daughter’s might be an altogether story? Dunno!

And as for the birth plan…do they give as detailed a questionnaire for the UK hospitals?

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Re: Birth Plan...

seee there comes my aaahhhaaa moment!!Sometimes I feel like I want the epidural at 5-6cm but then at other times I want it ASAP!! I have heard that it delays labor but nothing concrete so I dont know!

I love water tehse days for all my aches and pains and warm baths are my ultimate favorite for pain relief so I thought hmm I could definitely try that!

I am just confused.. is epidural really a miracle?

I understand the point about male nurses and docs but I feel soo weird around them without my scarf and with all my previous trips to ER and L&D, they ask me if I can remove the scarf and honestly I cant wait for that either, i just take it off and dont put it on until I leave the hospital.. I guess I am just uncomfortable with that but I have been seen by a male OB and male surgeons for my gallstones etc and it worked out fine.. I just dont want the unnecessary male staff in there, if not needed!

I am stealing a few points from you and will keep it very simple.. I will fill out the birthday wishes form that they have given me but I know they dont have time to look at it so I will have my, "in a nutshell list" included as well for the things that are important to me!!

I dont care about slow dancing during the labor.. yes that's a question too in my birth plan form :D

Enigmatic.. I swear I used to think that too but going through pregnancy I have realized that I want to share that moment with my husband only.. my mom will be or can be there during labor but not delivery.. it will be my husband only inshaAllah!!!

and by the way, my mom freaks out if I vomit or complain about any pain.. she will chew the docs if she saw me suffering through the delivery.. in fact she will be like, let everyone be on the side, let me help my daughter :D

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Re: Birth Plan...

^exactly having an epidural is my concern too...Some say it delays labour or it causes tearing as well as medical intervention. Others say it kind of speeds up things! aahh am so confused about this too. The last thing I want to go through is tearing and post labour pain :(

So GTG how are you feeling and how far are you now? You must be getting excited, nervous and a whole bundle of emotions at the same time :D

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Re: Birth Plan...

I am 34 weeks, 1 day today Alhamdulillah!!! I am just soooo anxious and excited for my baby's arrival.. I cant wait to experience the miracle of child birth!! I have been in so many pains and aches that my only solution so far is delivery :D

how far along are you??

I had a detailed discussion with my midwife reagrding the tear and she said, as a FTM, you will probably tear and considering last week my baby was sunny side up hence asking for back labor, chances of tear are there! But she also assured me that not all tears require stitches, and even if they do, they numb you down and stitches dissolve pretty quickly.. she didnt sugar coat anything and told me that child birth is painful!

there are some birthing positions you can try to make your pelvis roomier such as squatting, birth stool etc to avoid the tearing that will definitely happen if you give birth laying down or even sitting up.. have you taken any child birth classes yet? if not, please do.. they help you a lot!!

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Re: Birth Plan...

epidural = miracle = YES!!!
i, at least, know i couldn't have done it without my epi. i just couldn't handle the intensity of pain. i progressed about a cm an hour with a couple of delays here and there before he got stuck at 8 cms and we had to do the C section.

gtg, iA he'll move face down in time for delivery.

do your perinatal massage to prevent tears!! i've heard its amazing.

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Re: Birth Plan...

am 26 weeks today Alhamdullilah. :)

Birth classes I plan to go to one soon IA. Did you attend alone or hubby went wth you?

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Re: Birth Plan...

sgc.. I cant believe you had to go through 8 cm before the c-section!! oh well, your laddoo is here mashaALlah all happy n healthy!! ok epi it is, ASAP!!! I got pregnant to have a child not to have a cool natual birth story :D

Enigmatic....Husband has been with me for all classes, we have one session of child birth and one welcome baby class left and inshaAllah he will be there for those too.. in fact he is the only guy in the class who does his homework.. he knows everything in the review.. even the things that I forget (thanks to my pregnancy brain) he remembers them! and he has learned so much from these classes that he finds them so very valuable! so yep bring your husband with you.. I have a feeling we will forget most of this stuff so the support person needs to know them all too!!!

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Re: Birth Plan...

I didn't have a birth plan. My hospital didn't require it. My doctor would simply say when the time comes, you will know what to do. And honestly that's how it was.

I begged for some kinda of pain killer .. epidural... just anything. They had to do their procedure before giving me epidural but pain was pretty bad by then. The only thing that I think I should've done was birthing classes because I had no clue how to breath when contractions came. It was so strong that I kept holding my breath each time which they sad was a problem so they put oxygen.

I went through the whole thing pretty much alone. Husband was too tired after doing a night shift and running around in the mroning after my contraction started. I told him to go home. I was all alone until it was time to push. He came then, it was all good though. I had 10 people at least around me, male, female whatever. I didn't care... All i wanted was baby to come out... I didn't care who was looking who wasn't... I wanted it all to end good. And yes there was a medical student who was a male and my anesthesiologist were also male (I was given epidural twice because of prolong labor).

So, I am not s ure how effective birth plan really is, when its time to push... you push.

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Re: Birth Plan...

eeek thats pretty scary, unbelievable you did it all on your own.. birth plan is not about pushing! it's about your wishes, if any! Theyr equire us to fill out the form and it's very detailed and what I have heard in the past is that hospital is very pro birth plan and respect your wishes a lot! and yes I do have some wishes reagrding how the birth goes.. I am not in the hospital due to an injury or disease, I am there to give birth and they are there working for me! if everything stays well and good medically, I want to enjoy the experience and yes I do care who is there and who is not if there are no medical reasons for them to be there :D

I say birthing classes are MUST for first time parents.. I have learned sooooo much thta I didnt learn online or through any books and trust me I have been reading since I found out about pregnancy :D

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Re: Birth Plan...

Yeah birthing class I think is really benefical. I didn't care about it, I had so many other things on my mind that time that taking out time to go to a class was out of question.

You are almost there. I hope it all works out according to your wishes. My baby came early so who knows you might have an early arrival too ;)

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Re: Birth Plan…

Spiral.. how early??? I am so hoping he arrives between 37 and 40 weeks all fine and healthy inshaALlah… I just dont want to be overdue but whoever sees me says that FTM are late and that I will be overdue :naraz:

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Re: Birth Plan...

My birth plan did not go out the window. Yes, they did respect the no male staff thing throughout. Even taking it to the extreme, putting a sign up outsidemy doorthat no male staffshould enter while I was admitted there. Not sure about the wireless monitoiring though as I never was able to get it in either of my kids.

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Re: Birth Plan...

Let your husband snip the umbilical cord.

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Re: Birth Plan…

Why y’all hate medical students :naak:

I joke hehe x

Enigmatic - UK hosps do have one but its more like they go with the flow on the day, in north american hosps its different from hospital to hospital because its all about funding, what your insurance covers etc etc so works differently. As far as I know. Your midwife will know better!

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Re: Birth Plan...

It all depends upon what you want as a good experience. I don't wear a hijab but for me two things were important epidural and the other no males (except the anesthetist I got both and am very happy regards my experience. Those who don't want your husband there, its fine too. If he is ok with it, you are not wierd for wanting your mom instead.