O once I was at the house of an exceotionally gorgeous family friend and Like in any bollywood movie - I got up in the night to get some water - and there was he. Wrapped up in thoughts of how to do my upcoming dance sequence ( whilst he was at the fridge getting ice cubes which happened to be next to the door) I walked past. We made small talk. he was askinghow I was - staticness galore etc. It was July/ August time and there was a gekho on the wall.
I noticed the gekho on the way down
As i FELL :-/ AT HIS FEET! He proceeded to look dazzled - as I was there a second ago - and disappeared the next. He looked down (by accident I think) - and there I was. Crossleged - glass in hand - as if nothing had happened. Right on front of him.
Again I sprinted very quickly - away from said scene. I think he was more stunned at the quickness of I. I am indeed a fast runner.
Ok, I will start with a joke we played on one of the newbees in college (1992). This guy has just arrived and did not know his way around. At dinner time, we all went down to the pizza shop (they also sold cigs and other neccesity items such as tootpaste etc) in the dorms. This guy has acne problem and we convinced him that certain product called “tampons” will cure his acne once and for all and be sure to ask about it after ordering your pizza. Imagine his surprise when he asked for tampons at the counter (about 50 people behind him in the line) for his acne problem.
i spent some time straightening my hair in front of parked van with those tinted glasses. then since the tram wasnt coming i made a few poses, cocked an eyebrow or two. the charade would've gone on if the family of ten inside hadnt opened the van door and asked me if i needed anything.
When I was in grade 2 I was invited over to my friends house for lunch. This was 1982, way back in the day, in a white washed, Canadian small town. Her mom brings two personal sized pepperoni pizzas down for us. Now in this day and age most people are aware of cultural differences, like "Oh, you eat Kosher, Oh, you're a vegetarian" But not back then. It was just assumed that everyone was the same.
So anyways, I look at my friend and say, "I don't eat pork". So she say,"That's not pork" We went on like this for about 5 minutes. She got my little grade 2 brain all confused and I ended up eating half of the dam* pizza. Ofcourse my mother asked me what I ate and she got mad. I felt like dummy.
once I was staying at a friends house - and Id taken over her bros room. We were having a sleepover. I went downstairs in the morning. Had breakfast etc.
note: I am as blind as a bat. -7 (scale 20-20)
I went to collect contacts after - her brother was there getting changed. I was so shocked I carried on like he wasnt there. He stood like a statue. I think I whistled somthing inane and stupid to pretend he wasnt there.
I had a major crush on one of my friend’s green-eyed brothers. Oh Lord! I would just go to her house to get a glimpse of him. When she had a friend indirectly ask if I was interested in him I got all nervous and said no! Iwas such an idiot.
lol FF exactly same thing has happened to me. I ate the half plate of salad and it tasted really weird and i actually didn't like smell of bacon. After half plate i noticed the bits closely and they looked like meat...ahhh i almost puked...went to washroom and did some kullies. :D
My friend got a job at this sandwich bar just down the avenue once and I decided to pay a visit for some freebees, I went in saw him at counter and asked him if he had any grub I could eat, I assumed he’d know about our dietary laws so I took the paper bag and cup of coffee mocha he’d given me and sat down to munch my breakfast, it was like really early in the morning so I was too sleepy to bother asking what it were…
…After I’d licked every last bit of my toasty I asked him what it were and he looks at me as though to say ‘are you stupid?’ “Cheese & ham toast of course”… He obviously wasn’t aware we’re not allowed pork.
…I’m like “Whatttttt??? Hammm??? You mean I ate the flesh of swine???? Oh my… I’m doomed to Hell!!”
Really it didn’t taste all that great and definitely isn’t worth risking hell.
on the 3rd day of Eid, three or four days after surgery on both of my legs, I had about 15 people in my room visiting me, all friends and work colleagues. My legs were propped up on three pillows under each leg to stop swelling. At one point all three people sitting at the foot of my bed shifted their chairs. I asked them to keep sitting where they were. At my insistence one guy smiled sheepishly and said, we will if you stop giving us those gun salutes. . My hospital gown had creeped up and everytime I opened up my knees, and I did that like every 30 seconds because of the pain, they had a clear view of my crown jewels.
Femme i doubt you will go to hell for that...bless.
Hiccup my luv, your stories are brilliant, makes me feel much better about mine.
Il only share one though as the rest are not very funny as of yet.
Monday morning, its proper pissing it down, new shoes, slip over in front of the student union building, which at my uni was the bar/club/snooker place/doss out for every greasy asian bloke in the world even at 9am. Each and everyone of the tossers that watch me fall decide to run to my rescue and whilst helping me up fall over themselves, knocking me over again too. I was too upset to cry over my ruined shoes as one of the tossers that came to my rescue was my sardarji wanabe pati dev from the first year whom i had managed to convince i was leaving the country after my first year of uni.
I might come clean as well since I not telling won’t have much effect on my overall health. This was last year and unkil Wolfgang Puck’s joint was closed. I was extremely hungry and looked around for an eatery in the concourse. And, what do I find? A Pizza Hut! Well, I hadn’t been to a Pizza Hut in years so did’nt know what to expect. I grabbed a ‘Supremo’ because it had more toppings than the cheese one. Anyhoot, I pulled out my reading material and bit down on the slice. The meat tasted odd. To my utter ‘shock & chagrin’, a’la Jackie Chiles, I was staring down at a half bitten circle of a PEPPERONI!!! And, I thought to myself, “so this is what pepperoni tastes like, hmmm.” I took another bite, and then started with another slice of pizza. What I learned was astonishing: the texture and taste of pepperoni complemented the cheese, onions, and green peppers. The moist malty taste of bread was nicely complemented by the salty thin slice of that tasty pepperoni.
I praised Allah Mian for his creations – cows for cheese, pigs for pepperoni, and poor farmers in Mexico for their onions – and finished my pizza with large glass of ice cold Pepsi.
. My hospital gown had creeped up and everytime I opened up my knees, and I did that like every 30 seconds because of the pain, they had a clear view of my crown jewels.
