true! one day my mom said this to me and my fiance in a joking manner .. “menukaalay kaalay nianay nayi chaiday” 
(i dont want black grand children)
although it’s impossible to have black kids 
but she still said it … it really portrays our mentality.
it doesnt dissappoint me, it in fact relaxes me that someone is willing to openly disagree. weird that more acceptance was being shown here, while in another forum regarding sunni/shia marriages … it’s going completely crazy!
it’s not that apnay haan larkay larkiyaan kam hai k bahar jana perta hai … in my case, haan kam hain .. nahi mila koi .. bohat dhoonda, i was becoming depressed at what i was finding, what i had experienced. and my fiance now came at just the right moment. if i have found my spark with him, and no one else, i cant help it. and feel absolutely lucky.
currently we communicate in english. it’s not a problem for him cuz he’s always been enroled in international programs always, so it’s cool with him. i have to learn dutch anyways due to the legal requirements and so on …
he isnt learning urdu, but can say some words. perhaps, if he wants, he can learn at a later stage. there is no compulsion.
and “no compulsion” is the beauty of our relationship. i have never told him that you HAVE to do this if you become muslim. even if it is. cuz i know he’ll come to it naturally when he understands. and he has.
it is a disaster because it is true that pakistani girls really are different with the entire house/husband. by no means i am saying that all other girls are horrible. good/bad are everywhere, even within the pakistanis.
with your mother, it came as in instant junoon .. which is never healthy. luckily with my fiance, he didnt fall into it immediately. it’s something he’d been playing with since a very long time, and converted recently.
he took up a minor in islam studies during his bachelors. travelled to all sorts of muslim countries in the asia and africa. did a residency in india for 6 months. and he felt compltely at home in this kind of culture than his own. so his connection with islam came about by the kind of connection he developed with muslims globally, and how he felt living in the subcontinent. often times i tell him that there is nothing dutch about him. he shouldve been born in the subcontinent.
it is working because i was more liberal being in my society, and he was more conservative. and it balanced out when we came together. and it’s lovely how he became my motivation for praying.
he is not fanatically obsessed with his new religion. baby steps! islamic literature and the Qur’an is a part of his lifestyle now more because that is something i am born with, and he needs to get to know all things from the beginning.
but both of us very relaxed people, and hardly have disagreements. MashAllah/Alhamdulillah