I am here just to vent. I am pretty sad right now.
Due to a lot of reasons, my sister had to move to my brother’s house ( infact its my sister’s house BUT my bhai bhabi live there). Now, my sister is living there with her 2 kids as well. Bhai has 2 kids too.
There had been some issues because of kids fighting, which is kind of insane that parents fight because of kids so unfortunate.
NOW, bhai behaves very very badly with baji. She’s the eldest and has seen a lot in her life unkind inlaws, non-supportive husband etc etc.
Today i came to know that bhai called baji 'baighairut, get out of my house ’ i am so so sad. he was a nice person, he’s acting like he just lost his mind. and i am so upset that he called baji baighairut. really? can a brother call elder sister like that???
I have been praying like crazy, May Allah help her. She’s so stucked she cant even move out any sooner.
You are right. But he’s misbehaving with mom and dad as well. Mom dad live separate in another country.
If i send him a simple msg, he replies in a very rude manner. I have bad health issues, so apparently no one told me that my bro and sis are having issues. But even then, when i ask him, why are you rude to me??? He replies like i should’nt have talk to you, as you make me rude or angry. I am like bhai plz calm down. I keep saying repeatedly bhai calm down. I swear its like i am talking to some stranger.
Baji says he talks **** if she tries to talk to him, about anything. I can’t believe the stuff i hear that he says. And why i believe it, because he even lied to me about mom.
It’s not the only time he called baji by that word. And he has asked her many times to leave the house with kids, one is only 2 years old.
Your baji’s clearly gone through a lot and your Bhai’s routine has been disrupted by her moving in so there’s a lot of stress and tension there. If things are going from bad to worse, can’t your Baji be assertive and ask him to move out?
Little kids fight in every house whether its their own siblings or cousins, so that’s not even an issue for parents to fight among themselves over this.
Your brother clearly doesn’t like the idea of his sister moving in with them and he is behaving rude so that your sister leaves the house.
the house is your sister’s, and you guys should really intervene and ask your brother that if he has problems then he should be the one moving out.
Yes inspiron, I try to console myself by saying maybe he’s having some mental health issues. My mind fails to accept bhai acting in this painful manner. So maybe, he’s really having some psychotic issue.
maybe you are right, but baji feels just so insecure that she is afraid of everyone. I feel sad, she cant even take stand for her kids. I strongly feel mothers fathers should stand for their kids.
she’s well-educated, belongs to a well off, nice family but i dont know why she is so scared of everyone.
I think evetually someone will have to do this. Maybe mom dad were trying to avoid this situation. It is a very painful situation for our family, bhai’s attitude came as a complete shock to all of us. Can this really happen? How can a brother change into a stranger?
Fine, he can go completely nuts for his wife, fine. But how can he start misbehaving with his own family who lives away from him? How can he leave his own sister in darkness when she needs his help the most as he is the only one living there?
I always used to think, the stuff they show in dramas on tv can’t be true. But is it really true?
My wife’s brother fraudulently usurped all the families property worth in tens of millions and kicked the mother and my wife out when she was 10. This happens a lot more than you think. Parents pamper boys and spoil them rotten and they end up believing they are beyond reproach. I have studied the difference bw individual culture and group culture and it is my opinion that the only person you can count on is yourself. Please if you have daughters build them strong, build them resilient, build them confident. I was reading about the Women’s March and a woman was saying that she will raise her daughters to believe that they breathe fire.
very well said…am glad my parents brought me up this way i.e., made me independent and now that I am a mom of sons I make sure they know women are not weak once he saw a drama and said men hit women I told him if they do women hit them back twice so never even think of hitting a woman cuz wo tumhari chamri udher dengai lol well i didn’t exactly say that but made my point even my husband supported me and explained to our kid what he thought was wrong…
Awwwwwww. I can sense the sadness in your responses. Inshallah it’ll all be well. Sometimes we have to go through the low times to realise how strong and brilliant we can be when the situation really calls for it.
Your baji has probably dealt with your brother as much as she could have done and has reached out when it’s become too much for her and the children. She’s going to have to make a decision soon though- if she wants to live like a victim forever question why her brother has become what he has or if she wants to make sure that what happened to her never happens to her and her kids don’t suffer again. This is definitely the kind of situation your parents need to get involved in and if your Bhai and bhehan can’t be adults, give them directions of what to do next. That’s if your Bhai cooperates.