He’s behaving rude with US, i mean worst with parents and sister. Then, rude with me.
Rest, he’s always saying THIS happened to wife, THAT happened to wife, wife cried, wife sad etc etc. That’s what i wonder, fine he can be caring for both sides, bhabi and sister. Or even just leave sister on her own.
Oh i cant tell you how much sad i am. I smile for kids, i cook clean for family. But i just keep praying ‘may Allah protect my sister and her kids’. Its like a tasbeeh now.
THAT is the thing, my sister has to stop being the victim. Atleast she should not let her kids suffer. May Allah help her.
My sister WILL learn to survive. But i am afraid, we’ll loose bhai. It seems strange he doesnt want to be a part of family anymore.
Someone needs to open him up to hear his side of the story. He may be going through something which is leading to all this. In the end he’s yr brother and will remain like that. This rage is temporary.
Sometimes it can be tough on the guy you are supposed to carry the responsibility of parents, sisters, wife/wives and kids etc. There can also be job related and financial worries. Personally I don’t take words to my heart. People have said horribly mean things to me and I just let it slide off. We all need to work on not being sensitive and let go of egos.
You hit the nail on the head. Words get said in anger. Real issue is - is your brother a fraud? If he asked ur sister to leave her own house, that is beyond angry words. That threat cannot be taken lightly.
Your sister should have him vacate HER home. In fact, I don’t even see any need for intervantiojn from you or your parents to make this happen.
Get him to leave the house. And then if he still wants to continue relationship with her, that would be their choice.
But you and your parents should not abandon him. Don’t isolate him. But don’t let him walk all over your sister.
I don’t know why guys be like that but from my own experience even my own husband gets over emotional when it comes to his kids he gets angry on his own sister and mother while I stop him from doing that and in the end they think I was the one who pumped him when this is not the case…just leave him alone and he will realize…but yes your sister should get HER house back and HE should know its hers…
and about your daughters try to make them independent ask them to do their chores themselves not only house chores but like buying their own clothes, tasks related to their studies , keep telling them girls are strong and that they hafto study well and become something…motivate them my parents gave me freedom to study, go out have friends and enjoy my life though within limits…i in return didnt want to be a burden on them and was always trying to earn on my own so that I could cover my own expenses while studying i did tutions and right after studies I got good jobs…you just hafto make them confident…make reading their habbit reading and writing for fun or if they r into arts encourage them to do something…where do u live Pakistan?
i wish the rage is temporary, i wish. His side of story is that my sister is bad, that’s it. He wants mom, dad, me to say that baji is bad. if anyone tries to reason with him, he gets angry.
Oh no, he doesnt have to carry any responsibility atleast financially. My parents live separately and they are financially supporting my sister and her kids. And my mom send stuff like rice, dates, dry fruits, kids clothes etc to bhai bhabi. And now to baji and her kids.
so bhai only has to finance bhabi and kids, who are very young 2 years and below. We just wanted his emotional support with baji.
but yes, i try to talk to him, general talk. I hope things are fine with him.
That should be done. No one can do anything since we are far away. Anything said by mom dad, makes him angry. LIKE anything ‘nice’ related to baji.
He’s breaking ties himself, we try to stay in contact but well.
Thankyou. I give space to my girls, i hope i make them strong. since i have seen my sister going through all this, its kind of my ultimate wish to make my girls strong.