This is going to be long, sorry! I have a good relationship with my bhabi. We are not that close though that I feel like I can sit down and say something about this situation to her.
So my bhabi is not pakistani, she is Arab. A few years ago, there was a function at my parents house. My dads family is not nice, they say rude things and try to pass them off as jokes but everyone knows what they really mean. They have made life miserable for my mom as well. My youngest chachi, you can basically call her uneducated. She is from the village, and I think only went up to grade 8, but she is my dadas niece, that’s why they picked her. She does not have a bad heart, but she says things without realizing she is being hurtful. So that is a little background.
At the function, my chachi told my bhabi that she has lost so much weight that her nose looks big on her face now (my bhabi has always been sensitive about her nose). My bhabi tried to laugh it off, and just walked away (she is the one who told me what happened). To add insult to injury, when she walked away, she sat with my dads sisters and some of my cousins. The topic of pregnancy came up and my older Phupo (who is quite rude) said to her, you look like you are pregnant again, are you having twins? My bhabi has one set of twins. That’s why she asked about twinsi guess. Anyway, i can’t remember what her response was, but basically my Phupo was saying she looked fat.
Later that evening, my bhabi told me what had happened. I tried to console her, and told her not to take their words to heart, cause they were just rude people and honestly they are jealous of our family, which is true. I told my mom after what happened. She was able to say something to my chachi, but my Phupo is seriously such a b**** and has made my moms life miserable, that she has absolutely no confidence to say anything in front of them. My grandmother does not speak English, and my bhabi doesn’t speak our
language, but somehow my bhabi made my Dadi understand what had happened. My Dadi yelled at both my Phupo and my chachi for what they said. My chachi called my bhabi and apologized to her. She even had her daughter send an email from her apologizing. My Phupo
did nothing. Since then, my bhabi doesn’t talk to or interact with either my chachi or Phupo. Any time there is a function at one of their houses, she makes a big issue of not wanting to go. At first my brother was understanding and they didn’t go to functions. But it’s been over 2 years now. He thinks she should be over it by now. She still makes an issue, doesn’t say Salam to any of them, and when she sees them will always say things like ugh, I don’t want to see chachi/Phupo. She will walk right past them without even acknowledging them.
Here is the thing, my chachi has apologized to her numerous times and she honestly feels bad about what happened. I think she should just get over it now. My Phupo didn’t apologize, so I think it’s fine of she wants to keep her distance but at least she can say Salam to her. And I think she should just be normal with my chachi now.
Is there anything I can say to her? I want to tell her to get over it now, or do you think she is right by basically holding this grudge against them?