if he was ur husband even if u had had just nikkah with him...I wud tell u to stick with him....but since thats not the case i highly highly recommend you move on and im saying this through experience....pehle zubaan hadh se zyada challne lagti hai phir ek din haath bhi uthh jaata hai...he's verbally abusive when he gets mad...for now...one day m scared he may even raise his hand on u...so please turn ur back on him....
and next time u pick a guy pick someone from UK or USA or Canada..preferably from UK...if u pick somoene from pakistan be prepared that just like ur current bf he may not want to leave his motherland. There are some awesome guys in pakistan...real gems... but acha rishta milna bohot mushkil hotga hai chaahe aap Pak mein dhundho UK mein dhundho ya kahin bhi dhuundho but you have to realize a guy from pakistan marrying a girl from the west...and there will be challenges...here are some of the challenges:
geographical location...: both do not want to go to the other's country to settle down
mental level...: and i dont mean west ki girls have higher mental level than pak k boys...i mean there is a difference in mental level mainly due to the the difference in cultural environment and also difference in upbringing (socioeconomic status)
socioeconomic status: see above
you will face the above challenges unless you marry a filthy rich guy form pak and then you will have different challenges the biggest one would be he may not be humble and he may be snooty :p
so look for someone who is close to you in mental level, and the biggest indicators of that are the similarities in upbringing, geographical location, similarities in socioeconomic status
but keep in mind when u get married even to someone who is from a similar background as yours...you will **still **have challenges...marriages are not a walk in the park especially not in the beginning when you are learning each other and getting used to each other
NEVER TOLERATE ANYONE'S verbal abuse...stop it as soon as it starts...tell him you will not stand for it and he must control his tongue or else he will lose all respect in ur eyes
and DO NOT ever tolerate physical abuse...this must also be nipped in the bud
Ishi next time let him swear at you. Marry him. Phir 2 months baad thread post kerna keh "HELP ME OUT" maine ro ro kar shaid ki zid ki is banday se parents ke samne aab wohi mujhe marta hai. Mujhse baat nahin kerta. Pak main bijli nahin, pani kahatm, no CNG. Main mar jaongi. Abhi bhi waqt hai, samjh jao.
Asalam-o-alikam!
I want ur sincere advice guyz........
I just had an argument wid my BF over sum serious issue.........In my last thread i did mention that em trying to convince him so that we can settle in UK after marriage (Hez in pk at the moment and em in UK)
We were chatting on msn n i woz tawking to him, about how halatz r in pk at the moment n he got angry that i woz saying all sh**** about pk
he said to me k "Me ainda tumharay mon sy pk k bray mai koi ulti baat na suno werna tum sy saray rishtay tor doga"
I said "Mai to sirf sach keh rahi ho mai nay na to ulti bat kahe hy n na he tanna mara hy agar tumhay sach sunna nahe pasand to ainda nahe kaho gi"
then he went offline and i woz waiting for him But he didn't came back so i left him offlinez n was about to sign out n when he suddenly appeard online n said to me
"Tumharay gher walo ny bataya nahi k kis terha baat kerni chahiytumhain........yeh terbiyut di hay gher wlao nay?"
N he said this because .......in my offlinez i said to him k tum nay meri baat nahe suni apni sunai n chalay gay its not fair khair every dog haza day"
N he got angry on this n said all this sh***** 2me
Mera to sirf yeh matlub tha k tum nay apni sunai mujay n chalay gay meri baat nahe suni but koi baat nahe meri bari b ay ge
Dats all i meant :(
i tried to explain it to him but he didn't even listen 2me :(
I told him k "Ainda mai tumharay mon sy apnay gher walo k baray mai koi baat na suno....aik lafz b nahe"
N he said kaya kerlo ge :(
I said to him k tum say saray rishtay toor do gi
then he reffered back to that msg i sent him "Every dog haza day" n said k yeh sab kaya hy
i wos lyk kaya hy?????
Dun take it ina wrong sense its just a proverb :)
And then he said very sh**** thing
Mera L...... hay Behun Ch**** PROVERB per
N i said U R DISGUSTING n went offline
He rang me n said k i wanna tawk to ur mum .......mai nay kaha woh kis liy?
He said woh unhay he batao ga tum sirf un sy baat kerwao
But mai nay us ki baat nahe kerwai because woh bahot ghussay mai tha n agar koi ulti bat ker jata ghussay mai to my mum would never ever :( give her consent for our rishta (they never tawked to each other b4)
Bearing in mind that he will be approaching my mum ina few days for my rishta ....i am very confuesd n feeling really bad about all this.......I really duno wat to do.........Why did he beheave like that 2me? What should I do guyz?
Plz give ur sincere advice!
Firstly, he's not your boyfriend. he's just someone you chat to online. this isn't a real relationship. As others have said just get yourself out of this situation. he sounds like an idiot. see it as a lucky escape. Get a real relationship.
Ainda mein tum say Pakistan kay baray mein kuch na sunoun
Ainda mein tum say apnay ghar waloun kay baray mein kuch na sunoun
Warna!!
Saray rishtay tor doun ga.
After Shadi
Ainda mein tum say Apni ammi kay baray mein kuch na sunoun
Ainda mein tum say apni laziness kay baray mein kuch na sunoun
Ainda mein tum say Apni jismani badboo kay baray mein kuch na sunoun
Warna!!
I will beat you to a pulp with a stick
I will kick you out of the house. I will call a cab for you and ask you to go to your folks and never come back.
This guy is a total jerk. He has a huge inferiority complex and if you've given us the whole picture, you should run as far away from him as possible. Cut all contact with him, he has the potential to say
Tum mujh say break up nahi kar sakti
Warna!!
I will post all our chat logs on CNN and cc your parents.
Listen to what people are telling you. Don't come back after a few months, pregnant with his child, asking for everyones sympathy!
still not sure i believe what you're saying. from what you wrote in the first post about how you spoke to him, it seems that neither of you know how to talk in a decent manner.
anyway, forgetting that for a minute and assuming you were all sweetness and he was being a moron, i refer you back to red_velvet's first post.
concentrate on your education. even if you end up marrying a guy, you will always regret it if you ever didn't give your all to your studies because of 'relationship' stuff.
break if off like Stork said, there is no point pursuing something where people want different things, even if he was a nice guy.
first of all, aik cheez kay peechay par gayi ho. clearly your bf doesn't want to talk or hear anything about pakistan's halat, so why in the world do you continue to badger him about it. stop it. warna aur galiyan sunay kay liye tyaar ho jaye. are you trying to prove you're better than him? because if that is the case then he's better off without you.
second, you can't change a man. all the men here will agree that you can NOT change a man. he will pretend he's better, or traits he already had will come up and be stronger, but it's his marzi. sooooo you're point about changing him. is idioitic.
third he's already been abusive with you, emotionally and verbally and still you want to grab his pallu and direct your life according to it? bravo. thank you for putting the women's movement back 50 years.
also, why are you spelling PHIR like FIR? what is that. learn to learn urdu first. maybe your bf shouldn't be with you, if you can't even speak butchered urdu properly.
everyone's saying dump the guy, but clearly you don't want to listen to advice. if you just wanted to tell your story then you should have just opened a blog.
you're 17 for cripe's sakes. you are TOO young to think about marriage and changing men and the halat of the world. go put on some makeup and trail the mall.
and all ya'all other teenagers and people who act like teenagers either need to stop posting, or stop pretending you're grown up. you're not.
first of all, aik cheez kay peechay par gayi ho. clearly your bf doesn't want to talk or hear anything about pakistan's halat, so why in the world do you continue to badger him about it. stop it. warna aur galiyan sunay kay liye tyaar ho jaye. are you trying to prove you're better than him? because if that is the case then he's better off without you.
second, you can't change a man. all the men here will agree that you can NOT change a man. he will pretend he's better, or traits he already had will come up and be stronger, but it's his marzi. sooooo you're point about changing him. is idioitic.
third he's already been abusive with you, emotionally and verbally and still you want to grab his pallu and direct your life according to it? bravo. thank you for putting the women's movement back 50 years.
also, why are you spelling PHIR like FIR? what is that. learn to learn urdu first. maybe your bf shouldn't be with you, if you can't even speak butchered urdu properly.
everyone's saying dump the guy, but clearly you don't want to listen to advice. if you just wanted to tell your story then you should have just opened a blog.
you're 17 for cripe's sakes. you are TOO young to think about marriage and changing men and the halat of the world. go put on some makeup and trail the mall.
and all ya'all other teenagers and people who act like teenagers either need to stop posting, or stop pretending you're grown up. you're not.
you are on a roll girl.
Most valuable input in the thread. All those shrink books are paying off :D
Come to life1 more often. :)
