Ok, so after much deliberation I’ve felt the need to post my problem. This might sound stupid to some and of little relevance, but to me this is pretty huge and agonising. Basically, I’ve got horrid, hideous stretch marks on my upper arms on both sides. So no short sleeves or sleeveless for me. Now the thing is, it hasn’t really bothered me as such over the years, but now I’m going to get married and it’s all of a sudden become such a major issue for me. Only a select few people know of my problem arms, and now my fiance is going to know too (and possibly his family as well because they will be buying clothes for me, and they will probably want to buy some short sleeved or those which have that see-through material). I have started thinking that maybe I should have told my fiance’s family about this before saying yes, but it wasn’t such an issue as it is now, I didn’t think much about this then.
Also, this might sound really stupid, but how much do men care about these things? My siblings keep telling me to stop stressing and it’s life, to ‘get over it’. But I’m having such a hard time, especially since I cannot seem to reason with myself. I tell myself ‘it will be fine’ and the next minute I am having 101 negative thoughts racing through my mind and getting aggitated at the thought of anyone knowing.
I also feel I am deceiving my fiance because he doesn’t know about my arms, I keep them covered whenever I am out at social events, so he has no idea about them. I am always told by everyone how beautiful I am blah blah blah, but they don’t have a clue.
As a side note, I haven’t really had a chance to talk to my fiance because the marriage is totally arranged. And if we ever did before the wedding, I don’t think I would tell him about my ugly arms. I’m just so scared he might reject me upon seeing my arms when he does. And what if the whole engagement ends because of this problem? This will really knock my confidence and I don’t think I will be able to find someone else to settle down with. My fiance’s family is pretty understanding though, so I don’t think this will actually happen, but my head is being irrational, what can I do? I’m trying to be patient and have sabr because I know Allah will be with me through thick and thin, but at times I still can’t reason with myself. This is meant to be a happy time for me, I’m supposed to be looking forward to the wedding, and yet, here I am stressing, worrying and crying.
By the way, we are both educated individuals, so will he be more understanding about this, and be able to over-look it, than a non-educated person would be?
And if someone doesn’t have anything constructive to say, then please don’t bother posting here.
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