Re: Being US Born & Bred, Choosing a Spouse from the Motherland
I don’t know if the “esteem” issue can be made for ONLY men living in Pakistan. I think it has more to do that just the way society is set up here and in Pakistan, there are different expectations. More men are open to women working here because that’s the norm. Whereas, Pakistan is making strides in that, yes but it’s still considered a bit odd. I have extremely educated women in my family back home that don’t work because their husbands are loaded and don’t feel the need. In general, more men/women here are open to working even with kids. I just think the expectations, in some things, are so different that it’s hard for me to adjust. IE: not having kids for a while after marriage is considered “normal” in the social group I’m a part of. In Pakistan, even in my own family, that’s considered weird. 9 months after the baraat and there’s a child. If there isn’t, there’s concern. Like I said, Pakistan is making progress in that regards and there ARE people that don’t ascribe to that type of thinking but to find a guy that thinks like that AND is religious AND is educated enough to have a job that would be viable here…that’s too much to ask for–in my case, at least.