Being US Born & Bred, Choosing a Spouse from the Motherland

[Ghost14]

Re: Being US Born & Bred, Choosing a Spouse from the Motherland

@PyariCgudia

Yeah cuz in our culture you’re expected to be a doormat, and so she does whatever her husband is ok with. In other words, if the American-desi guy is fairly liberal → you’ll see his pakistani wife in gym clothes, working out, getting a job, wearing american clothes without problems. If the American-desi guy is more on the religious end of the spectrum → that same girl will be covering up more, maybe will start wearing a dupatta on her head, maybe hijab, maybe he’ll ask her to wear a burqa and she’ll say yes, maybe she’ll sit at home and cook parathas all day for him, and maybe she’ll install her kids in American-madrassas and pull them out of the regular school system at her husband’s insistance.

I mean, what’s the alternative? Going back to bullet-ridden Karachi, where she steps in donkey crap on the way to her p** poor job where she’s likely gonna get sexually harassed by some paindoo?

No, NOT all marriages are like this, but honestly, it’s easier for a woman to shutup and adjust to things if it means she gets a chance to have a better life, and maybe can even pull her family over here with visa sponsorships.

Girls here don’t have that hang up. So when a guy asks me if I’m willing to wear a hijab - I say, look, no, that’s not what I do, and I’m not GONNA start doing it just cuz you asked me.

Or in a recent situation If a dude asks me to go back with him to Pakistan, I’d say, no, because my entire life and career is here, and why would I uproot that?

shrugs It’s just different circumstances for the girls here and over there.

Not everything boils down to perceived injustices against women in the Desi community. It’s easier if the girl is Pakistani because the guy’s professional credentials are already established. Also, and this is a fact about relationships in general, women want men who have some status (in their eyes at least). It’s not right, but a guy fresh from Pakistan might not command his wife’s respect. That’s why I think it works better.

Women being submissive exists in Pakistan, as well as here, and even amongst white women.