What are the reasons?
Why are there so many stories of husbands and wives not being able to stay faithful to each other? One fancying their friends, their colleagues, other men/women? I have read numerous stories on GS, and recently, heard of so many more and come across a bunch of people confessing to have cheated that it’s like, WHY can’t you just love and stay with the person you’re committed to??
Is it lack of your imaan, your love or just abundance of lustful nature? Why has it become so difficult for people to stay loyal to their spouse?
Because they think it’s OK to give in to their lustful urges and just do namaaz and ask for forgiveness…and do it again…
Because people have changed what is considered as being unfaithful. Now it’s demands of society, oh we are just friends, bla bla and then they get carried away…
Because they get bored of each other, tired of same old routine of life and want a thrilling forbidden adventure.
Because they don’t make an effort to make their marriage work and instead look for “options” to fill the gaps…
Because they are away from deen (shoot me but it’s true) for fear of Allah can really put you back on track if not love for your spouse…
Great points.
What I find really sad that is once it's done, people find so many ways to justify it. Rarely I see anyone seriously repenting what they have done or feeling ashamed of betraying their spouse.
Great points.
What I find really sad that is once it's done, people find so many ways to justify it. Rarely I see anyone seriously repenting what they have done or feeling ashamed of betraying their spouse.
Yes of course, and if the husband is the one to have cheated the blame goes to the woman for becoming unattractive or not taking care of her husband's needs, and if the woman is unfaithful the blame goes to the guy for not being caring enough and being a mama's boy :@: It's never really that person's fault you know.
And, I have known girls who got 'carried away' with male friends, then felt bad for a while and then said to me, 'I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know how to get over my friend now.. I love my husband so much, I want to be faithful to him but I can't be because I miss the other person too much!' This is all the while not even making attempts to distance themselves from the third person and still calling/meeting/texting, etc.
All had love marriages. All have known their husbands for years. I just don't know what to say when they tell me this stuff.
I dont understand it either,,,if I;m unhappy about something I want to talk to the man I love and bring changes into our marriage ...i cant love anyone but him so why take the easy way out and do the disgusting act of unfaithfulness why not talk to the man or woman you love and tell them what changes you need ...
There is a reason why our religion asks us to maintain a healthy distance from na-mehrams. Oh but I don’t want rotten tomatoes thrown at me for being called antisocial or backwards do I now ??
jahan ek aurat aur ek aadmi hote hain wahan teesra unn k beech shaitaan hota hai
^^this is so true
i think it is better to be labelled backward antisocial or even oldfashioned ,,,and whatever else
than put yourself at the risk of being led astry by shaitaan...aur agar shaitaan behkaane ki phir bhi kohshish karay shouldnt your bond and love and imaan be strong enough to withstand even the attacks of shaitaan? I think it should
mujhe lagta hai
hum log apni pehchaan bhuulte jaa rahe hain and are becoming more and more gora like...as if we have come kind of inferiority complex and feel the need to be like that..well m sorry but thats just not our culture nor our religion... it is best to stay away from the opposite gender
anyways once you have your hubby he should be enough of a friend for you...i personally dont find the need for friends apart from my mom and hubby if i really need someone i talk to cousin-sisters of mine or his
I don't understand. Who says that people who are faithful are backwards or antisocial?
I've never heard of this at all. Well okay, fine, maybe certain non-muslim couples think that way, but I've never heard of muslim couples hold those opinions.
PCG, no it's not that people who are faithful are backward...but people who don't put themselves in situations such which were once questionable...like casual meeting up with an old male friend even if you are married...for example.
Islam has not asked for keeping distance from na-mehram for nothing. Its only natural that if you get mixed with opposite sex a lot, you might end up attracted towards few for one reason or another.
See the problem is that when you mix with opposite sex too much you start comparing (him/her with spouse) and when that happens, one will start finding the "short comings" of spouse without realizing the facts that no one is perfect in the world and everyone has some good and some not so good points. while looking at one shortcoming of spouse, we totally forget his/her positive points.
But niksik, meeting up with old college friends, for example, can be done with your spouse.
I don't know. We have plenty of married couples at our college, and no one never comes out because God forbid, they'd be with single people. They try to bring their spouses along and its nice seeing everybody. Doesn't mean you're going to end up cheating.
I was molested by older women at my work. Not that I disliked it.
But If you ask me, I liked them too but ,I was too scared to make any move.
Its them who wanted more attention then their hubby were giving them.
Whole cheating things comes very eaily/naturally at work place.
Some indian women are so shameless unless they get caught going at it, they always have excuse to have
some male around them. They some time cover it up calling them brothers.
I had 2 rakhi on my wrist once.
White women are more open, so are their hubbies. Hubby make it clear that they don't want
a man around in any form.
At one point I loved women who cheated. Not any more thogh. I hate them now.
But niksik, meeting up with old college friends, for example, can be done with your spouse.
I don't know. We have plenty of married couples at our college, and no one never comes out because God forbid, they'd be with single people. They try to bring their spouses along and its nice seeing everybody. Doesn't mean you're going to end up cheating.
Meeting them with spouse (or even in a group) is different I guess.
reading uzziel's comments with a grain of salt, as its clearly looking like he's a multinick
Decent Chora: I don't know of married men/women who just randomly hang out with one person of the opposite sex to the point where it looks suspicious. The married couples I've seen - they will go out to dawats and gatherings as a couple. I don't see anything wrong with that.
Otherwise, I'm not sure what you guys are talking about. I don't know of anyone really, who cheats. If it does happen in the desi community, it is exceedingly rare, and there are issues in those marriages to begin with.
and then they get carried away…
??