Re: Being kaali pakistani
Dekho sirf gori hi hai.....nain naqsh to bilkul fazool hain..........gori hai issi liye itna gharoor hai....
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Ok I’m asking this out of sheer curiosity…but did your skin color or “looks” change drastically AFTER your ex started dating you? (sorry…not sure if you’re referring to ex-BF or husband).
He obviously thought you were beautiful when he started the relationship…so unless your skin color changed drastically due to a medical condition or your “looks” changed due to an accident…that statement doesn’t make sense to me. 
Re: Being kaali pakistani
^Inspi, Fact of Life: You're not going to be accepted by everyone. It's impossible and at some point a person has to realize this, part of growing up and having confidence.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Nope nothing changed from when he first started dating to when he broke up with me.
Because I was kaali I became the joke amongst his jaahil friends and so he broke up with me based on him finding me unattractive.
The ************** also felt he needs to tell me this was the reason he is breaking up with me.
It still effects my confidence.
Especially as in between people called me african and too kaali to be desi, rishtas have turned me down for being too kaali.
I am NC40 btw.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
When this flaw is constantly picked out over and over and over and over by the people who you wanted to be accepted by. Its hard to ignore.
The US has less this issue than the UK for various demographic reasons.
Being in the U.S., I have to admit I know nothing about "society" in UK.
I agree with the 1st portion. BUT....in the OP's case....according to what she wrote....her mom/dad/siblings have never called her kaali. Her fiance has never called her kaali. She's even has multiple guys ask her out. Unless I misunderstood something....it seems that at least in her case, it's random aunties/uncles that may have made comments and b/c SOME random guys didn't find her attractive. Its a far reach from being picked on by people who're important in your life.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Heres my story, I have been called African because im too kali for them and i have low self esteem now compared to when i was a kid because strangely nobody has called me kaali or anything when i was a kid even though i was lot more kaali as a kid..but i was a really confident kid , i could speak well and ppl would be impressed and told my mum that i have a good "tarbiyatt".but strangely as i grew up many ppl told me that im really dark and at the same time many guys wanted to date with me and found me goodlooking (Including pakistani/indian, many guys from other nationalities) i believe its cause im tall and i was blessed with pretty features but you know what pakistani ppl (aunties and uncles and mostly girls and some guys too who loves gora rang) never looked at my features all they see is my dark skin thats it..for the reference im totally brown and i cant even understand what am i in MAC shades if i use NC40 it looks dark on me even though i thought im around NC45. I'm soon to be married, im engaged to a man who loves me madly and his mum didnt had any objection of me being kaali just that she told her relatives that the girl is with "pakka rang"..she treats me nicely as for now but there are times she says "shaadi ka lengha lena ho to woh rang lena jo aap par acha lagey" by that i feel like if shes pointing at my dark skin and want me to know every colour wont suit me...I dont know how many times i would be told indirectly or directly from my husbands family or rishtedaar or friends about my colour. Im sick of this mentality even though im quite fashionable and i carry myself well. but nothing helps...being kaali makes me feel that im the ugliest person in the world i need my confidence back which i use to have in my childhood...now i cant even talk to ppl properly cus it makes me feel theyr just looking at my colour THATS IT.and honestly i dont feel happy at all if any guy likes me or found me attractive i just dont care about them..i just want these aunties or girls to not call me kaali or make fun of me now i dont even wana get married as ill be moving out to London(after shaadi) and when i went there some yrs ago some girls and even some kids made fun of my colour..and a friend of mine recently told me that the pakistani girls in London wont be friends with you if your kaali because thats what happend with her cousin and shes facing some severe depression...i feel these ppl would just kill me or ill fall into serious illness cus i think too much of thist and i dont know what to do i go paranoid just cus of my colour!
I am sorry but seriously, I dont know WHAT kind of people, you've been surrounded by all of your life.. who are *ing disgusting!!
this doesnt happen at all, nor in Pakistan.. atleast I haven't seen! Your friend is just scaring you..
you can not specify them that what pakistani think and what others.. its all about a person!! his/her bull* t hinking!
be confident.. seroiusly, if you start noticing all this stuff, you'll turn mad.. just care about your to-be-hubby!! I read your story but NOT in a single line, found that your husband is having a problem with that!!
since, both of you have to spend the life.. be calm and happy! you shouldn't be caring about the disgusting world.. where "YOUR WORLD" loves you! He is happy with you.. so make your life beautiful and ignore the confused people!! Yeah! I call them confused :D and pity them!! so should you!! :D
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Well of course your parents arent going to call you kaali. I have also been asked out my men, been told I am pretty etc.
But its like, in desi society being gori automatically makes you pretty. If you lack it you accept it but when people pick on it, make rude remarks and even bully you about it. It hurts.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Nomi
Re: Being kaali pakistani
what about your hairs and eyes???
here here to make you feel better.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
I was wondering the same thing Paheli. I'm also an NC42..and nobody's ever called me dark. And if NC 40 is dark on her.....doesn't make sense. A person can be fair-skinned but not have attractive/balanced features. Seems like the people who are picking on her are jealous of her features (which even she acknowledges are attractive)...and the way she carries herself, and the flattering attention she receives. Don't think aunties are above this.
Yea...maybe it's just me but I've never even considered myself "kaali"....lol. I know that I'm not "light"....but at the same time....I don't see myself as "dark" either. I see myself as "medium brown" and at least for me....it has NEVER been an issue.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
^I had heard that Vital Signs came out with Sanwali Saloni…AFTER…they FIRST came out with Goray Rang ka Zamana and pissed of the darker-skinned girls. 
Re: Being kaali pakistani
^...yep...and it got more famous than goray rang ka zamana.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Find a non-Pakistani Muslim man like a white guy or an arab. They like sanwali salonis. 
On a serious note, our culture is so messed up. Just because these insecure or (mentally) culturally shackled men make these comments does not make it true. There are decent Pakistani men out there.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Nope nothing changed from when he first started dating to when he broke up with me.
Because I was kaali I became the joke amongst his jaahil friends and so he broke up with me based on him finding me unattractive.
The ************** also felt he needs to tell me this was the reason he is breaking up with me.
It still effects my confidence.
Especially as in between people called me african and too kaali to be desi, rishtas have turned me down for being too kaali.
I am NC40 btw.
Wow....so just like OP.....you're also lighter than me!
For what its worth....your ex didn't all of a sudden find you "unattractive". He just didn't have the balls to stand up to his friends and felt the need to "justify" his behavior to himself.
One of close guy friends broke up with his GF (who he was really liked) b/c his parents didn't approve of her b/c she came from a poor background (his family has $$$). Instead of being honest and telling her that he didn't have the balls to stand up to his family....he told her that the reason he was ending the relationship is b/c she wasn't "educated" enough to be his wife (she had a Bachelors). Soooooo yea..........sometimes the "reason" given by a guy for dumping you is FAR from the truth.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
WTH. Your ex was an idiot. Thank god he’s out of the picture, you def. did not want to deal w/ an insecure prick your entire life who could judge you based off that. Also, NC40 is not dark. 
Re: Being kaali pakistani
seriously feel so angry at these desi aunties...who kill some poor girls confidence due to colour issues...i personally think browner colour is amazing and the most gorgeous girls ive met have been more brown, it's stunning...seriously having fair skin does NOT make you beautiful...
you need to focus on your inner beauty and also just work on having great skin rathar then being insecure and embarrassed of your so called 'kaala skin', seriously..if you were really unattractive as you feel you are i doubt you would ever be engaged...you have so much going for you and you sound like an intelligent girl so don't let narrow minded people make you change yourself. You CAN be that confident girl again, just work at it.
Re: Being kaali pakistani
I agree^
I think this is more of an issue in the UK or more prevalent there because I have never seen that issue in the US or at least not the general opinion amongst desis. I have seen a bit of it in Canada but then again that’s a little sister to the UK to begin with, :halo:
Re: Being kaali pakistani
to be honest i've never come across any aunty or anyone else who talks about someone and calls them ugly because of skin colour...thank God, and I also live in the UK...
Re: Being kaali pakistani
Darker skin (if you take good care of it) tends to age better than lighter skin. It's less sensitive to the sun, which causes many of the wrinkles in old age. I've always thought it was funny that....considering how obsessed our society is with being youthful (botox, etc)....that they'd be greater appreciation for darker skin because it tends to age better. It's kinda funny...like one group having the last laugh.