Re: Being friends with your Ex
^ This is your mistake. You know this “relationship” with him has no future - so why be "less" available to him. Go cold turkey and be unavailable to him.
Slims, by far had the best advice - when two people continue to have romantic feelings for each other (which you and he clearly do), then no - you cannot be friends with your ex, because you don’t see each other from the lens of a friend.
By continuing to speak to him, respond to him and even allowing him to contact you - you choose to be in his life and choose to let him into yours - neither one of you is moving on, which isn’t just expected but necessary. If he doesn’t have the guts or consideration to do so, then you be the responsible adult. He had his opportunity to say no to marrying his current wife - he didn’t stand up for you then, so he’s not likely to ever stand up for you later either. Remind us again why he’s so special and why you can’t get over him?
Time to make some difficult decisions - but this what personal growth is all about. You might not be able to shut down your feelings for him right away, but you could certainly shut down interaction and communication with him.
Good luck.