how do you deal with it? do people get jealous with you?
if you are one. are you admired by people?
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Err...I thought the word dubli ...not dupli.
Yes, I've seen the jealousy....but more among my relatives. Lol, I used to be a really chubby kid and the same cousins who would insult me for that....also put me down when I lost the weight (perhaps it was baby fat) when I hit my teens. One of them was overweight. I never said anything back to them...never insulted them for their looks. Growing up, I used to wonder if it was me...and it took me a while to figure out that the problem was them and their insecurities. I've little respect for them.....I don't wish them ill...and for the most part I ignore them. Although occasionally I'll put them in their place. Just because you have the title of "baji" doesn't mean that you should always be respected. Sometimes people think that a quality that another person has was natural or acquired easily and that's not always the case. For many things, you have to work for it. But i guess human nature is such that it's easier to be jealous than to do some self-reflection and apply some effort.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Gosh no, being patli in Pakistan is taken to mean your ghareeb or sumthing and don't get enuff to eat in your house! rolling eyes smilie ppl always asked me if my mum never feeds me. its lyk WTH why wud u even think lyk that. Also not only was i patli but i was also a bit saanwali and that gave them even more reason to believe i would be from a poor background until they got a massive shock to knw that I was actually from the Uk. Honestly pakis in Pak both city and village were so annoyingly mean kasme.
On the other hand being patli in the UK is awesum, ppl are complimenting all the time on how good i luk.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
hayee hayee becharee.... must be the most heard compliment :)
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Err...I thought the word *dubli *...not dupli.
Yes, I've seen the jealousy....but more among my relatives. Lol, I used to be a really chubby kid and the same cousins who would insult me for that....also put me down when I lost the weight (perhaps it was baby fat) when I hit my teens. One of them was overweight. I never said anything back to them...never insulted them for their looks. Growing up, I used to wonder if it was me...and it took me a while to figure out that the problem was them and their insecurities. I've little respect for them.....I don't wish them ill...and for the most part I ignore them. Although occasionally I'll put them in their place. Just because you have the title of "baji" doesn't mean that you should always be respected. Sometimes people think that a quality that another person has was natural or acquired easily and that's not always the case. For many things, you have to work for it. But i guess human nature is such that it's easier to be jealous than to do some self-reflection and apply some effort.
actually, you are right.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
I usually get relatives from Pakistan allll the times asking me how I stay skinny...come to think of it I get the same in London too.
I think the mentality about skinny = poor is not so popular in Pak any more cos its fashionable to be skinny now
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
ive never been skinny, im curvy and fair so in pak people say oh is good ur fair skinnd, but why dnt u lose weight.ive never been fat but to them anyone not anorexic needs to lose weight,.....my sis is saanwali and skinny, yet shes too skinny....kAMzoor bichari..
cant win.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Mad Hatter maybe your right, since it has been 3 years now since i been, but i just shared my experience of ppls perceptions in pakistan of me being thin and sanwaali too back then wen i went. OK so its fashionable to be skinny now is it, i just hope one day it can at least be acceptable to be sanwaali in Pak one day too.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Nadz 123 that is so true. haey kitni kamzor hai tu. Dhood piya karo, saheth bhi ayi gi aur rangath bhi theek ho jaye ga
. Excuse me im perfectly happy the way I am thanx, im allergic to milk by the way!!! Grrrr
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
I get lots of compliments from non-desis…it’s just the desi aunties who come out with the usual, “tum diet par ho? Mujhe lagda tum kuch kahtey nai” and (to my mum), “isse kuch khilao” 
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Yup I get that those comments as well…and sometimes even “you look kamzor”…and not only from aunties…from cousins within my age range. But gain about 5-10 pounds and they’ll tell you to lose the weight. You can’t win.
At first I used to think that they it’s just plain tactlessness…but then I found that the people making such comments don’t like it when they’re told the same things. So that makes me think…“If you don’t like it when the same is said to you, then that means you are aware that such comments are not nice. And if you have that awareness, then perhaps your intentions are not in the right place when you say the same things to others.” It’s something to think about. I know that this isn’t the case for everyone…some people are just showing genuine concern. I’m referring more to the ones that hardly ever have anything positive to say and can’t handle it when it comes their way.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
It's probably Desi mentality. My sister was quite chubby younger and they used to make fun of her and when she got older and lost weight they still came out with the same incoherent bulls*it. I'm quite vocal about it and I rightly put them in their place...lol
Even I get it sometimes. No winning I tell you.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
I dont think the issue really is if you're dark/thin/fat/tall/short/insert physical mutation
Most 'aunties' (etc) just need to say something to comment on you. It's like their aunty right or something, they went through that stuff and now its their turn to belittle us and make us lose out confidence. And obviously if you should tell them to refrain (i.e. shut it) then they will be really confused about what possibly they could have said and they only meant it in a nice way, na beta.
Dont listen to 'em folks, its just a time pass thing for them.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
^ I dont get that either. What makes them feel like they have the authority to say ANYTHING to you. I hate how entitled they feel. My friend's mom was known for talking a lot of crap about other women's daughters. "She talks to boys", "she stays out late", "she has boyfraands" and then guess what happened? Her own daughter (my friend's younger sister) ended up running away and staying out overnight w/ her awaragardh friends. Basically, her daughter did things of much worse calibre and of course the auntie didn't have the nerve to open her mouth again.
They're just insecure and need to say something. Maybe b/c they're out of their "prime" and feel the need to bring girls down? Pathetic.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
^Or if you give then any sort of response that doesn't support their comments/views/behavior.......you will be seen as "badtameez"
And if you tell them to "refrain"...it has more chances of backfiring big time......in that IF that aunti's intentions (let's assume) were to belittle you....then telling her to quit would only let her know that A) it's bugging you....and B) that her strategy was successful...and C) she should continue. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe someone with a bit more of a concscience will knock it off.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Seriously that is what it is half the time. my mum's best friend is always making digs about us (in a nice way) and the fact that my sisters got married a bit later than my parents would have liked...never mind the stuff her daughters got up to and how late they got married.
They do it to draw attention away from themselves and to feel all superior about themselves - and its really annoying because they think they have the right to look down on young girls who are too polite to answer back etc
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
My mumani used to say my hair was thinning (I stupidly got my curly hair rebonded which indeed did thin out my hair temporarily) but she made it a point to say it at gatherings where everyone could hear. So one day I told her to keep her opinions to herself and she smiled it off while my cousins all sheepishly grinned. Of course, my mumani ended up getting an alopecia patch (a bald spot due to an autoimmune reaction) so she couldn't ever say anything after that. Horrible, but true.
Seriously that is what it is half the time. my mum's best friend is always making digs about us (in a nice way) and the fact that my sisters got married a bit later than my parents would have liked...never mind the stuff her daughters got up to and how late they got married. They do it to draw attention away from themselves and to feel all superior about themselves - and its really annoying because they think they have the right to look down on young girls who are too polite to answer back etc
This.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
Dubli patli would mean slim and slender, which I would imagine should be all good and dandy (whats wrong with that?). Unless you mean anorexic looking with the term dubli patli, which is not right.
Re: Being dupli patli pakistani
One just can’t win against those aunties in Pakistan. They moan just about everything 