hi everyone. .
i’ve been on this for a week and i’ve got so sick enuf i can’t hold it back any longer. .
two years back, my dad, probably the only one who stood by me durin my hard times passed away. . and then i found a friend, the most honest i’ve ever seen, and u know we got close, were lik a bro and sis. . since the we used to talk a lot, we shared our joys and sorrows, she stood by me all along, i stood by her too. . she never expected me for help but i was there, i owe her my life. .
recently, she had some really hard time nd she just didn share it wit me. . she didn’t return my calls (she never does tat), and sent me a text sayin twas her last txt to me, nd she’s gone. . a whole week i lost myself, i was totally ignored. . last night, she sends me funny texts, which made me really crazy, i called her, she hung me up and switched the phone off. . she loves me a lot, cares for me better than my own mother but now she’s avoiding me. . i feel so bad i seriously ever ever don’t wanna go away from my sweetie. . how can i get her back? pls guys help me outta this. . .
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
She might have moved on to something else and may be more permanent . You should do the same . People come and go in your life . Never get too attached with them that it gets hard to leave them . :)
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
This happens all the time, get used to it
People change, and you just can't do anything about it
The best you can do is save your own izzat. Stop trying, you've done the best you could.
The ball is in her court.
If she was "the most honest", she would tell you what's going on
If she cared about you as much as you think, she wouldn't be avoiding you, think about it
Study hard, make enough money to become independent, and you'll have everything you can imagine
That's probably what she's concentrating on too
but guys just understand this. . it wasn't just mere friendship or stuff. . i got so close. . she helped me wit everythin she had. . now she's facin a hard time, and tat made her a bit harsh i think. . u wouldn know how its lik. . oly when u get into this situation i'm in (which i hope should never happen to u people) u'll know. . she's all i've got here man. . i want her back. . i can risk anythin for her. . just tell me a way. . i've crossed a line and there's no turnin back. . hey she really loved me ya. . more than everythin. . took care of me when i was dying wit a cruel disorder. . my mom did not stay by me cuz she was afraid tat it might catch her too. . My mom stayed away and she was with me. . now how can i leave such a sweetheart? isn't it my job to make her understand?? huh?
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
its nt about people moving on...shes going through a hard time..u dealt with it by sharing ur problems..everyone deals with problems in their own ways..i never share anythng with anyone especially guys..no matter how close i am to them..i think guys can share their problems better with women...jst give her space thats all she needs and text her and say u will be there her for when she is ready..so she knws that ur there..bt make sure u give her space..
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
How about giving her some space???
Just write her a nice e-mail or text that you'll be there for her, when she'll need you, aur bus!! Step back a little, unless you were gonna marry her or something you HAVE to give her some space.
And please get a hold of your life, you can't keep on going on in life depending on a "friend."
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
i've sent her a text. . its so hard stayin away from her yaar. . she's a big part of my life. . i'm not totally dependant on her, i wanna BE WITH HER. . like closely as we used to be. . she loves me, i know tat but i wanna help her out. . . i can't bear it when she suffers. . i've tried my best to console her and fight wit her in her fights. . suddenly its dark. . i feel bad if her trust is gone. . . :-(
i know it sounds crazy people. .
in the best sense actually,
I love her so much, i don't wanna leave her, but since she is in a hard time, and lot of troubles, she's being a bit of a paranoid, how can i get her out of tat?
clear enuf?
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
dooood....been there, done that
she wrote a week ago that it would be her last message, so it's obvious that she doesn't want you around anymore, not just a little space.
yes it's hard to stay away, but the more you bug her, the more she will hate you.
be a man, respect yourself, and she might still change her mind
but don't expect anything now.
she sent those funny texts probably by mistake (multiple recipients)
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
pal i'm not talkin about me. . i'm talkin about her. . . get her out of that, and i'll leave. . i'm willing to do anything. . . come on guys, there must be a mutual way. .
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
Uhm, you need to back off. She's probably thinking that you've gone crazy (litterally). So don't you think it's obvious she doesn't want to contact you? Give her some space to breath. You get yourself together and be a man. Plus I agree on what Gaia said, send her ONE e-mail and tell her that you'll be there if she needs you. Baaki SABR.
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
wait for her, see how things pan out, but leave her the space to make her choices
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
maybe i'm being too much possessive. . . is tat what u guys are sayin? huh?
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
Not too possessive, too much of a deewana. Usko saans lenay do.
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
My favourite line out of your post "cares for me better than my own mother"
Quite obvious she doesn't want anything to do with you. Have some self-respect. Be a man, grow a much!.
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
she helped you in times of difficulty and now she is in difficulty she might want to face those difficulties by herself. some people enjoy dealing with troubles themselves because they like the challenge, they feel strong
consolidate (keep) the strength you got from your friendship, but also remember that she might now prefer an independent route.
it maybe the case that she may have wanted to help you, when she saw you in distress, but now its time to go on and forth on her route
hi everyone. . i've been on this for a week and i've got so sick enuf i can't hold it back any longer. . two years back, my dad, probably the only one who stood by me durin my hard times passed away. . and then i found a friend, the most honest i've ever seen, and u know we got close, were lik a bro and sis. . since the we used to talk a lot, we shared our joys and sorrows, she stood by me all along, i stood by her too. . she never expected me for help but i was there, i owe her my life. . recently, she had some really hard time nd she just didn share it wit me. . she didn't return my calls (she never does tat), and sent me a text sayin twas her last txt to me, nd she's gone. . a whole week i lost myself, i was totally ignored. . last night, she sends me funny texts, which made me really crazy, i called her, she hung me up and switched the phone off. . she loves me a lot, cares for me better than my own mother but now she's avoiding me. . i feel so bad i seriously ever ever don't wanna go away from my sweetie. . how can i get her back? pls guys help me outta this. . .
but guys just understand this. . it wasn't just mere friendship or stuff. . i got so close. . she helped me wit everythin she had. . now she's facin a hard time, and tat made her a bit harsh i think. . u wouldn know how its lik. . oly when u get into this situation i'm in (which i hope should never happen to u people) u'll know. . she's all i've got here man. . i want her back. . i can risk anythin for her. . just tell me a way. . i've crossed a line and there's no turnin back. . hey she really loved me ya. . more than everythin. . took care of me when i was dying wit a cruel disorder. . my mom did not stay by me cuz she was afraid tat it might catch her too. . My mom stayed away and she was with me. . now how can i leave such a sweetheart? isn't it my job to make her understand?? huh?
pal i'm not talkin about me. . i'm talkin about her. . . get her out of that, and i'll leave. . i'm willing to do anything. . . come on guys, there must be a mutual way. .
Im confused here. You said you guys were like brother and sister and then she really loved you. Im wondering about the nature of your relationship with her, was it more romantic or platonic?
The reason I ask is...did she fall in love with you and then leave because she sees no future with you? You didnt make a move and now maybe someone else has made a move? She may want something you cannot give her and now that she realizes that its time for her to move in a different direction...away from you.
hi everyone. . i've been on this for a week and i've got so sick enuf i can't hold it back any longer. . two years back, my dad, probably the only one who stood by me durin my hard times passed away. . and then i found a friend, the most honest i've ever seen, and u know we got close, were lik a bro and sis. . since the we used to talk a lot, we shared our joys and sorrows, she stood by me all along, i stood by her too. . she never expected me for help but i was there, i owe her my life. . recently, she had some really hard time nd she just didn share it wit me. .** she didn't return my calls (she never does tat), and sent me a text sayin twas her last txt to me, nd she's gone*. . a whole week i lost myself, i was totally ignored. . last night, **she sends me funny texts, which made me really crazy, i called her, she hung me up and switched the phone off.* . she loves me a lot, cares for me better than my own mother but now she's avoiding me. . i feel so bad i seriously ever ever don't wanna go away from my sweetie. . how can i get her back? pls guys help me outta this. . .
^I agree with **Shardmanny's **point above of giving her space and letting her handle her issues.
1) **People handle their problems differently. Some people solve them by depending on others for emotional support. Others prefer to keep their problems a secret and solve them on their own. If you truly care about her and then DON'T FORCE yourself into her PRIVATE matters. It's possible that maybe her parents have requested her not to share this problem with anyone else and she is respecting her family's privacy and wishes. If someone has made it CLEAR that they want to be alone.......and if YOU keep bugging them.......they'll get turned off by you and that can hurt the relationship. Just simply tell your friend, "I'm worried about and I don't want to leave you alone in your time of need but since that is what you insist, then I'll respect your need for privacy. I just want you to know that whenever you need me, I'll be there." **And then give her space.
2) *Why is your friend saying that this is *"THE LAST MESSAGE YOU"LL EVER GET FROM ME"??????????????????? Is she moving somewhere to another city, state, or country? Even if somebody moves, they at least keep in touch with their friends through email or phone call. Tell me something..........how old are you both?????????? Is there a possibility that she's getting married and feels that it would be inappropriate for her to keep in touch with a male friend and that's why she's cutting off communication????????
3) I know that you said that you both are like "brother and sister".........but is there a possibility that there are some romantic feelings (perhaps from her end) in this relationship????? If there is such a possibility, that might explain the sudden desire for distance.
4) She told you that this would be the "LAST" text message she would ever said. And then she goes back on her words and......sends you a text message. She's finding it hard to break all communication with you. Hmmmm, sometimes people might even avoid others as a way to get attention. Kind of like "playing hard to get". You avoid a person.......and their behavior captures your attention.......and you become more inclined to "chase" the person. If you both have a solid and strictly platonic relationship, then there should be no need to play such games. However, if there is the slightest possibility of one-sided romantic feelings....................then this behavior doesn't sound so strange.
Re: Being Avoided, I Don't Wanna Be
Guys its not a romantic relation. . its a lot of caring and missing and all that. . i'm not talkin about the love between a male nd de opposit sex, its somethin we shared in de heart. . i never saw her as part of a romantic relation, she wouldn have, actually she's de elder one among us two, so no chance of romance. . i'm sayin tat, SHE'S IN TROUBLE, THAT IS WHY SHE IS STAYING AWAY FROM ME, I'M NOT BUGGING HER, I'VE GIVEN HER THE SPACE TO MAKE HER OWN CHOICES, ALWAYS. . SHE'S VERY WEAK, EMOTIONALLY, THATS WHY I WANNA HELP HER. . PLUS, THERE'S THIS EX BOYFRIEND OF HER, AND HE IS TROUBLE. . HOW CAN I JUST GET HER OUTTA THAT MESS. . Oly i know whats her true emotions are, and she knows what i am. . If she's hurt then there's no use of me, i'd be ungrateful. . She didn let anyone hurt me, its my turn. . Pls understand fellas. .