Gaia
November 2, 2012, 10:47am
52
Re: Behaviour of the Wife
Ok. I had or shall I say I attempted to have a discussion with her.
I spoke to my mum and she doesn’t mind any of the issues, she just stated that her behaviour is reminiscent of someone who is not happy where they are and her actions are a reflection of that mindset she has. Mum also mentioned that as a husband it is up to you to discuss these matters.
Hence I did not speak about any if the issues or those things that I thought were issues. I have previously spoken about waking up early and she said that she realised that and will sort it out.
Anyway, so I spoke to her and she mentioned that she has the same issue she has had for 8 months and that is that she does not like it here. So I asked why she doesn’t like it and I did not get an answer, just tears. Then I asked whether it was my family members who come around every other day to see my mum as she is old but no answer still. She stated that this isn’t the type of married life anyone/she wanted and for me it was normal so I asked what she meant by that comment but no answer. My mum who all this time was downstairs called us both down as she thought its a little weird we are upstairs for so long so i stated to her to come down with me and her response was that ‘i’m not for show’. I asked her what she meant by this but again no answer just tears.
I then asked what did she want to do or what did she want me to do but no answer just tears.
She knows that I am saving literally every penny i get for a house and i have also mentioned countless times that without a sufficeitn deposit we won’t be able to find anything. I wanted to have a discussion about our finances and where we are and where we need to be before our move etc BUT if i cant get any answers out of her at all about why she does not like it then what can I do?
The above conversation with her lasted about 3 hours, I was sat there with her asking and then wiping her tears and then half an hour later she would say something and then tears.
It was a love marriage and no, i did not have a clue about this sort of behaviour.
Now I can speak to my mum and mention the problem and for her to speak to her but i would rather keep it between us two for now. She married me and I married her.
This conversation was a good start, but you both have a huge communication gap. There is something bothering her, but she’s not confident enough in you to spill it all out, because what if it doesn’t get resolved, that’s kind of how she’s thinking. So you both have A LOT of these type of conversations waiting to happen in the future.
If you WANT to have a discussion about finances, than you should. If you can’t talk to your wife, than who else? Before you said she’s looking for a job, that’s great on her part.
Overall, all three of you seem to be very understanding of each other, so iA these little problems will get handled. My only advice would be better communication.