Behaviour of the Wife

[najeeb786]

Re: Behaviour of the Wife

My mum tries a lot with her and has always said she is like my daughter but its as though she just pushes people away.

When your wife wants to go home every weekend ot to visit but to stay and combined with the fact that she isnt trying at your own house and is basically living in a house but not a part of the house then yes it becomes an issue. Everyone in my family has stated that it seems as though she has no motivation to do anything and even go out and is never concerned with anything for that matter.

All I want is clear answers from my Mrs.

Nobody wants to live in a house where your mum is constantly asking what is wrong with your Mrs and yuo dont know what to say. Then you talk to your wife and no response.

@S_and_S

It just sounds like you are making an issue out of nothing. If you, yourself have not managed to create a proper relationship with this girl in the last eight months then how do you expect her to do the same in your home. Respect and love is earned not demanded. I dont think having a heart to heart will do anything for your situation because it doesn’t seem to appear that the two of you even have an understanding. How about putting more of an effort to make her feel more comfortable, and making her feel as if your mother is like her mother, that is the way love is conditioned and earned. And when I say comfortable I’m not talking about materially, but emotionally and mentally. Bringing two worlds together takes a lot of time and patience but with understanding and love, not demanding it. Why not get to know this girl first, how she operates and mix her ways in yours so they compliment and blend together instead of just “wanting” HER to do things the way you would like.

I also have to ask, what is wrong with her visiting her parents regularly?? You LIVE with your mother, you can’t even grasp a simple understanding of why she would want to visit her parents so often. Put yourself in her shoes, if you were on your own, wouldn’t you want to visit your mother regularly?? You need to make this girl feel like she needs you in order for her to feel any connection, maybe it’s not apparent from your posts but it looks like you need to work on your marriage before you raise family issues as a concern.

If this is the way your mother feels, then talk to your mom about giving it time. If you can manage to keep everyone’s respect for one another, you will have more peace of mind and people will be more willing to keep an open mind. If one person is constantly being made to be the bad guy, well then you’ll have a pretty stressful home life. You know how to make your mother happy already, you know her, learn more about your wife and earn her trust. If she trusts you, and you her, you will automatically make things work. It’s called marriage.