Re: Behaviour of the Wife
See I am looking at the trip as a break not just for her but for you also. You mentioned that you are somewhat relieved to come home when she is not there because you don’t look forward to being met with a sulking person. That means that you are tiring of this whole situation.
Give yourself a break.
Nobody really knows how she will react but let’s consider likelihoods…
If you lay down the law and say “Go but don’t think of coming back to this house!” then based on what you have told us about her background (i.e. being the baby of the family) and based on the fact that her parents may not be aware of the complete situation. she just might pack up and leave.
She could easily say, “He told me never to come back. I hate it there anyway. I can’t handle it!” accompanied by mega water-works in front of daddy dearest and that’s the end of the whole thing.
Scenario #2 could be that she agrees to the conversation and the terms that you lay out, goes on the trip and return to commit the same sins. Result? You are in no worse shape then you are in now. In fact, you might be a little bit refreshed from not having to deal with her nakhray for 4 weeks. You might have a clearer mind on and be able to make an unemotional and concise decision on the whole matter.
Scenario #3 might get you some success whereby she realizes how serious the situation is (because you will have told her in the conversation that unless she is willing to make those changes you have no future together) and actually makes an effort on her return.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The trick is to weigh the odds and calculate her reaction based not only on what you know of her but also on how you would want someone to handle things with you if the tables were turned.
Allah is always on the side of the person with naik neeyat that takes the path of compassion…that much I can promise you. The rest is in Allah’s hands.
Then don’t make a big splash about it. Remember, it is your duty as a husband to hide your wife’s faults and protect her from harm…even if that is emotional harm. So have a private conversation with her Mum. Let her know that you are not complaining but seeking guidance and assistance from her…that she may be able to convey the message in a way that her daughter will understand and not be hurt or defensive.