Re: Behaviour of the Wife
True…almost all women know how to be manipulative. I agree with the other things you wrote. I think a major problem here is that Najeeb is being too nice. From what he wrote, he has attempted several conversations with her and have brought up some of the issues already. Yet the wife’s reaction has been to put all the blame on the “lifestyle” in her new home and to cry/throw tantrums. For whatever reason, I don’t think she’s “getting” just how serious her behavior has become. My suggestion with the ultimatum is to get her attention. It’s a way for Najeeb to let her know that he’s not going to tolerate her crying/tantrums/running away to her parents for days on a regular basis for the rest of his life.
Najeeb is clearly willing to fight to save this relationship. I think the ultimatum is a great way for him to see just how invested SHE is into this marriage and whether or not she puts any effort into saving it even after getting the threat of divorce. I just find it very difficult to believe that the wife will put ANY thought into her marriage troubles while she’s vacationing in Pakistan and busy seeing relatives/shopping.
Najeeb: I think you need to have a conversation with her parents ASAP. As in call them TODAY and say that you need to meet them in person to talk. Muzna has given you great advice. I think the major difference between Muzna’s advice and mine is that Muzna’s advice requires you to wait a month or longer…pretty much you’ll need to wait and see IF the trip/more conversations made a difference. Personally, I tend to be more harsh in my dealings with people. I have VERY little patience when it comes to adults acting like immature children.
You’ve already put in 8 months into this marriage. Only you can decide how much longer you want to spend being a part of this, and what you’re willing to sacrifice to stay in it. Once you decide that…you’ll know which advice would work best for you. 