Behaviour of the Wife

[najeeb786]

Re: Behaviour of the Wife

I had an issue a while ago where I mentioned to the wife that she should ring my mum when she goes to her mums if that is ok with her and she was fine with it, said she wasn’t aware etc and so she did that once. Since then there has been an occasion where my mother has been ill for a number of weeks with an infection and gets through the day but didn’t really want to pick up anything, thought it was the end of her life for her and everyday she would mention what to do with her assets etc. The wife decided after a few weeks she needed to go home for whatever reason which was fine BUT those 5 days she spend at home i wasn’t asked how my mum was and neither did she ring my mum.

I expect common courtesy and compassion. If it was just an issue with my mum i could probably deal with it one way or another but its loads and at times I have spoken to her and just think whether I am getting anywhere at all.

I am going to have a serious serious chat with her and very quickly as i have realised that i am preferring my time when she is actually away at her parents house more as nobody is walking on sea shells and I don’t get the sulking when i come back from work or the wife’s troubles being communicated across to me every day especially whilst I am at work.

@flawedsoul

I don’t agree…I am a newlywed…been married less than 6 months. And I started calling my in-laws abbu and ammi the day I got married. They never asked me, and I’m sure they would’ve never mentioned it either because they’re just really nice people that way. But I wanted to do that, because I knew it would make them happy. And it did. My father in law told my dad once that I called her abbu and he felt so nice. These little things don’t require any effort but go a very long way in any relationship. And I don’t think in-laws are ‘strangers’ when you’re married because you’ve been developing a relationship since BEFORE the wedding. But I don’t think it’s a big deal what you call your inlaws. That’s not even the issue with this girl’s behaviour. It’s her actions and attitude towards her MIL.

I only lived with my inlaws for a brief period, but when I did…I made sure I wasn’t in my room till noon. Sure couple days here and there sleeping till noon is okay. But everyday? And I’d also make sure I spent time with her just having conversations about the littlest things. I think that’s what the OP’s mom misses. Older people just want some time. Would it really kill someone to sit and talk to an older person? And that too when the older person is your husband’s mother. There are things that you need to do to show that you care, and that you are part of the new family. Building relationships takes effort. But this girl doesn’t seem to be interested in building any kinda relationship with her inlaws.

I won’t lie, I don’t wake up to make breakfast for my husband. I did it 3-4 times, made crepes for him. But he likes having cereal in the morning. But I do try making dinner for him and cooking him breakfast on weekends. It’s these little things that you need to start owning upto when you’re married…and this girl clearly hasn’t started doing it properly. Once you start believing your husband’s home is your home and your husband’s parents are like your parents, then really all of this comes very easily to a person.