Re: Behaviour of the Wife
Ok so I was supposed to chat to her early last week but that did not happen as a few family events occurred. We went out on Friday for a bite to to eat and some bowling. I realised that she was a little down but I thought that before I bring the topic up and discuss at least we could enjoy the evening and alhamdulillah we did.
On Saturday we woke up and I asked her whether she wants to go to a relatives house that i wanted to visit for 20 minutes or so whom only lives around the corner really. She said that ‘I suppose i’ll have, cant do anything else can i’ so I asked her what’s wrong and she mentioned that she wants to talk to me and for me to listen so I stopped what I was doing and sat and asked her what was wrong. She stated that I know whats wrong so i mentioned that i want her to tell me, she then stated that i have always known and why should she say it again. She then said ‘its fu***** all your fault’ got up and went downstairs so I followed and sat her down.
I said that I know sometimes the house gets busy because people plus family always visit my mum. I am sorry but she is a popular person and people like her, cannot do anything about that until we move as then the house will not be within walking distance. I then asked her what else the problem was, she wouldn’t say and just said that I am a coward because I have ignored her for so long and known it has been a problem but have not done anything and to not touch her, she had tears flowing as is normally the case and seems to go in her own world and then complains that I cannot communicate. I mentioned that I have always listened and sat next to you but you have never actually stated what other reasons they are. She stated that she wrote some issues down and I should know, this was obviously regarding my mum.
So she mentioned the same issues with my mum. That my mum commands her to come downstairs, I mentioned that I have been there and she doesnt ever command anyone the only thing she says is ’ if you are free can you please take me to the doctors later today?', this is a sort of command to my wife. I mentioned that they are not issues, she is making them into issues and these are things that nobody takes a second glance at.
I then stated to her what I said before we got married. I am saving up for a house there is nothing else i can do. I have always been side by side with you and try to spend all my time with you which is actually very true i think i spend too much time with her, since being married I have only ever seen a friend once who came over to my house I have never actually been out with mates as I always think she will complain but I have been once every couple of weeks for an hour to a sporting event but even that I don’t bother any more Also that she knew the family situation before getting married as i asked her that many times whether she would be comfortable, i even asked her a few days before the nikaah to confirm and also asked the very first time we chatted about compatibility. Even then i said we would start saving after marriage for a house.
At this point she went quiet and then disappeared to do some washing etc